This story actually hit late Thanksgiving Eve, but was too good to get lost in the mix.
The following are emails sent to Heidi Montag (above — I think) from her late plastic surgeon Dr. Frank Ryan, who, when he wasn’t pushing for her to get more “injectables,” was constantly trying to rope his Frankenstein into doing publicity for him. Via RadarOnline:
- “Not sure if you are following me on twitter, but could you mention to your followers that they may want to follow me? My web guy keeps bugging me to get more active in twitter.”
- “Can you wear the dr frank ryan eco-spa wear along with a dr frank ryan T that day? They are perfect for lounging or yoga or working out etc. I will bring some with me so you can change into them, if you donr mind.”
- “I need the modern- day marilyn monroe to sing happy birthday like she did to JFK! :)”
For extra added hilarity, each mail was signed XOXO. No joke. In the meantime, Heidi has since launched a campaign blaming Dr. Ryan for down-playing the negatives of turning her into a, somehow, even more lifeless version of Barbie:
“I definitely think I should have been way more informed,” Montag said. “I think that doctors should really walk you through all aspects of it, not just the glamorous side of it. Doctors, it’s like they’re selling you cookies or something.”
Jesus, you can practically hear her brain clenching on that one. But, seriously, if that last sentence was actually the case, Jessica Simpson would spend her entire day eating said cookies as they’re being lipo’d out her ass by the doctor who just sold them to her. She’d literally never leave the chair. “Whoops, I’m fat. Now, I’m not. Whoops, I’m fat. Now, I’m not. Whoops, I’m fat. Now, I’m not. Whoops, I’m fat. Now, I’m not…”