Heidi Montag’s Dead Doctor Was Hilarious

November 29th, 2010 // 127 Comments

This story actually hit late Thanksgiving Eve, but was too good to get lost in the mix.

The following are emails sent to Heidi Montag (above — I think) from her late plastic surgeon Dr. Frank Ryan, who, when he wasn’t pushing for her to get more “injectables,” was constantly trying to rope his Frankenstein into doing publicity for him. Via RadarOnline:

- “Not sure if you are following me on twitter, but could you mention to your followers that they may want to follow me? My web guy keeps bugging me to get more active in twitter.”
- “Can you wear the dr frank ryan eco-spa wear along with a dr frank ryan T that day? They are perfect for lounging or yoga or working out etc. I will bring some with me so you can change into them, if you donr mind.”
- “I need the modern- day marilyn monroe to sing happy birthday like she did to JFK! :)”

For extra added hilarity, each mail was signed XOXO. No joke. In the meantime, Heidi has since launched a campaign blaming Dr. Ryan for down-playing the negatives of turning her into a, somehow, even more lifeless version of Barbie:

“I definitely think I should have been way more informed,” Montag said. “I think that doctors should really walk you through all aspects of it, not just the glamorous side of it. Doctors, it’s like they’re selling you cookies or something.

Jesus, you can practically hear her brain clenching on that one. But, seriously, if that last sentence was actually the case, Jessica Simpson would spend her entire day eating said cookies as they’re being lipo’d out her ass by the doctor who just sold them to her. She’d literally never leave the chair. “Whoops, I’m fat. Now, I’m not. Whoops, I’m fat. Now, I’m not. Whoops, I’m fat. Now, I’m not. Whoops, I’m fat. Now, I’m not…”

Photos: INFdaily

superficial

  1. xoxo

    Umm, that man in not Heidi Montag

  2. Punky

    Sorry but that’s Brooke Hogan. I now hate myself for knowing the difference. . .thanks a lot Fish.

    • Josette from NYC

      Hey fatty you realize that realize can also be spelled realise right? No wonder the rest of the world hates us….stupid Americans like you.

      • Josette from NYC

        sorry punky, i meant to reply above to fatty McRetard.

      • Andriiya

        Americans aren’t stupid because they don’t know that realize can be spelled with an ‘s’, they’re stupid because they pretend to care abut grammer and spelling and such and in fact just want to call someone else stupid.

      • Josette from NYC

        Sorry Andjria or however you spell it….but you just sound like you’re mad. Go on, eat a biscuit.

      • Josette from NYC

        As a matter of fact I care very much about grammar and spelling. You seem to care about just making others feel stupid, but it obviously backfired because your whole sentence was opinionated. And no one cares about opinions. Especially one sided opinions like yours.

    • Janice

      ROFL! Josette, you are fucking awesome. I think I love you.

  3. Candy

    Pretty sure this is Brooke Hogan.

  4. KMA

    Either way, it’s a total disgrace to my eyes.

  5. Michelle

    Brooke Hogan is a man, right?

  6. @whatzer_face

    Yeah- thats Brooke Hogan … definitely Brooke Hogan

  7. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    kingofbeer
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Brook Hogan?

  8. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Brooke Hogan
    Commented on this photo:

    Even I am not desperate enough to pretend I’m Heidi Montag. I’ll show that bitch a properly chiseled chin.

  9. ChinoLatino

    She’s lost some weight, I think she looks very bangable!

  10. hmna

    Heidi was getting ready to sue because Dr. Ryan made her look like Brooke Hogan. He knew he would be left destitute and killed himself by car accident. It all makes sense now . . .

  11. Dr. Ryan’s last Tweet:

    whoa…i’m flying off a cliff to my death while I type this, but be sure to buy your dr frank ryan eco-spa wear along with a dr frank ryan T today. They are perfect for lounging or yoga or working out etc. XOXO

  12. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    I don’t get the joke. What does Brooke Hogan have to do with Heidi and her doc? Or are you just high?

  13. LearnUrTits

    this is not hedi montag. she has H’S. I mean come on.

  14. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Xtina
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is the butt-chinned man-lady being touted as the Leno-chinned femme-bot?

  15. CptCreep

    Dude… if you can’t tell the difference between Brook Hogan and Heidi Montag then you should NEVER go to Thailand…

  16. FattyFatty2X4

    Fish, stop cuffin’ the carrot or what ever you call it in Peoria and give us some fresh meat or cleavage. Surprise Me.

  17. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    CBC
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t think that’s Heidi. Isn’t that Brook Hogan?

  18. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Leah
    Commented on this photo:

    Are you SURE that isn’t Brooke Hogan?????

  19. That’s either She-Man or He-Ra.

  20. i’d go gay for this dude…

  21. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    kayk
    Commented on this photo:

    isn’t that the hogan guy…?.
    Why are you saying this is the montags….
    I don’t know what is up or down anymore….
    which ugly manchick is which!

  22. Ash Bones

    I’m Hulkin Up in my pants, Brotherr

  23. s'up bitches

    Didn’t that quack die while twittering? It’s official. God judgeth thee who twateth. Verily unto thee, stick with the dicketh.

  24. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    faris gaz
    Commented on this photo:

    shes hot who u kidding.

  25. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Super
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks better than I have seen in like forever.

  26. GravyLeg

    Thighs that could make a walnut quiver.
    Dude is buff.

    • madamedummy

      some of these famewhorin’ sluts don’t have thighs or legs ..
      be thankful ..& next time you get mugged , instead of your plastic doll screaming & offering blowjobs ..
      ol’ brooke will crack their heads open like a walnut & save ye’ …
      you be thankful !

  27. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Kevin
    Commented on this photo:

    Hahahaha, dude, fish, that’s Brooke Hogan.

  28. Josette from NYC

    Brooke looks pretty good here.

    • BigBone

      I tell you what…… this is the best I’ve seen Brooke in a long time. She looks good and i’m happy to say that I’d eat her beave and give her the best orgasm that she’s ever had. :-) Plus I’d have to suck on her nipples…….

      • BigBone

        wow, anything else? It sounds like you were a little boy who didn’t like to heat his momma’s glory hole poked. Get over it man

  29. madamedummy

    heidi can only DREAM of having normal length legs ..hahahaa
    her azz is only a few inches off the floor ..
    she has a big head too …ugh ..
    if you ever see the hontag-splatt gremlins in person you will die laughin’ ….
    her boobs are the least of her worries ..
    doc’ frankenstein made her head too big ..
    she’s mad he died , now she can’t press false charges against him ..
    oh well …phony emails & slander are good enuf right ?
    she better watch the ‘hubris’ though ..
    what goes around comes around & i doubt anyone would shed a tear …
    would you ?

    • BigBone

      Dude. like your decrepit ass wouldn’t bone her? come on? for real. Pretend with your 2 inch cock as much as you want, but if she came up to you she would turn you down anyway! LOL

  30. madamedummy

    ps- brooke looks GREAT …i’d take her anyday over hontag, coco or big fat kim the sluts who suffer from tiny lil legs complex ..
    kim is disgustin ..ugh ..
    brooke ok ..
    you may not be gawgeous but at least you are ‘FIT’ & in proportion ..

    • dumbass

      and well hung. don’t forget to grease your chute!

      • madamedummy

        you certainly seem obsessed with cock ..
        whadya’ think hontag has between her 6 inch tiny legs moron ..
        hahaaa ..
        jealous of a humongous head & short legs ..
        i think not …

  31. That’s not Heidi Montag, that’s two time heavyweight champion of the world Riddick “Big Daddy” Bowe.

  32. madamedummy

    i get the joke i think ..
    & it’s VERY clever ..
    the one thaaang which would get hontag-splatt balls in an uproar would be to lose any smidgen of publicity ..
    and let’s face it how many photoshopped to hell fotos can the rags keep posting ?
    i mean it’s the vegas photoshop bikini with the legs pasted on posing on a recliner ..
    than the red dress shopped to hell photos & the costa rica shots which were so ‘shopped to hell the background disappeared & they were suppose to be outdoors???!!!
    wtf….hahahaaa so funny …
    yeah cooool …
    post brooke instead …ahahaaaa
    i think it’s hilarious …
    next time lenda murray puh-leeeze !

    • Babydiabolical

      Holy Shit! I weep at the brilliance of this.I vow to never again post a picture of Heidi Montag anywhere but will instead substitute with a picture of someone she would find it insulting to be confused with …like Coco Austin.

      • madamedummy

        you a genius hon’ ..
        beat ‘em at their own game ..
        hilarious if everybody did the same ..
        boycott ! hahaaaa
        but i guess we are just jealous …

      • madamedummy

        ps- i’m doing the same ..
        many gossiprags have already boycotted them ..
        it’ll take a homicide for them to get any attention now …

  33. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Nom
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s Brooke Hogan pics got to do with a Heidi Montag story?? huh?

  34. Babydiabolical

    Let’s say Hulk Hoagon is Jeff Goldblum and let’s say Heidi Montag is a fly.Let’s also say these two nut hugging retards have an accident with a teleportation device.This picture would be the result.

  35. suck it

    this stupid useless cunt is trying to blame a dead man for her own choices???

  36. Wrong

    Everyone give Brooke Hogan shit. But, I bet she’d be an amazing lay, especially doggy.

    As for Cunty McCunster (aka Heidi), she’s a braindead idiot & can die the death of a thousand screams for all I care.

  37. tally

    did you really have to use the she-hulk

  38. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    bernard
    Commented on this photo:

    take me to your leader

  39. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    bernard
    Commented on this photo:

    caught in mid-act, forgetting how to walk

  40. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    BigBone
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, I would bone her good

  41. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Andrew
    Commented on this photo:

    Long time reader (5 years), first time commenter. That’s gotta be Brooke Hogan…unless someone’s been letting Spencer play Plastic Surgeon again.

  42. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    BigBone
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at them titties!

  43. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    mark
    Commented on this photo:

    this guy did a great job, she almost looks like brook hogan

  44. Vandal

    I prefer Hulk with his moustache.

  45. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    fghjsfgj
    Commented on this photo:

    Her stomach is amazing! I don’t care what people say, Brooke has a bangin’ body!

  46. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    bevo
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not Heidi.

  47. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    BrukOut
    Commented on this photo:

    who gets a saggy boob job?? :S

  48. jojo

    …don’t make me angry, you won’t like me when I’m angry.

  49. Racer X

    Brooke Hogan is friggin’ HOT!!!

    /I’d hit that for hours!

  50. Brooke Hogan Bikini
    Dr. Hufurrrrr
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m going to need a very sturdy paper bag, a chair, a bullwhip, and 3 dozen Trojans (the condoms would be ok too).

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