Heidi Montag’s A Stripper Now (Basically)

Heidi Montag’s getting and closer closer to me finally being able to purchase her for the price of a mid-size SUV (Anyone know if her extended warranty covers battery replacement or just routine breast inflation?) because apparently she’s making strip club appearances now for less than what it cost for her left tit. TMZ reports:

The former MTV reality star has struck a $25,000 deal to appear at the Crazy Horse III strip club in Vegas on October 19 … but there’s a pretty big catch.
Montag — and her G-cup boobs — will not be getting naked. So, patrons will only get a chance to throw money at giant unfamous boobs that night.

Yes, because I’m sure Heidi will just show up to a strip club and content herself with only making $25,000. “Hearing Spencer complain about living off of Chef Boyardee and watching non-premium gay porn is a dream come true,” she’s always saying. “It has been 976 days since last vagina receptacle use. Please insert cleaning cartridge beep bop boop,” is another favorite.

Photos: Crazy Horse