Heidi Montag Stops Fictional Sex Tape Release

September 1st, 2010 // 35 Comments
Heidi Montag

I’m still not putting my pants back on.

Heidi Montag has fired off a letter to Vivid’s Steve Hirsch effectively shutting down any chance of the sex tape that never really existed – unless you ask Karissa Shannon – seeing the light of day now that it’s sprayed everyone in the face with hot, wet publicity. Of course, semen innuendos aside, I’m also going to assume the letter doubled as a Thank You card for actually being stupid enough to believe these two in the first place. “Seriously? Us? Your funeral.” TMZ reports:

Sources close to the couple tell us Spencer’s rep shot a letter to Hirsch explaining, “Heidi’s made it very clear that she is not interested in releasing any tapes” … adding, “It looks like she pulled the kill switch.”
The letter also explains, “Spencer’s not interested in further destroying their relationship by pursuing an avenue she’s so vehemently against.”
Spencer’s rep also told Hirsch that Pratt “thought $5 million would be enough to convince her, but now [Heidi] is saying she’ll bring out the legal team if he persists.”

I’m pretty sure “looks like she pulled the kill switch” is the type of terminology Heidi’s people want to avoid if they want to keep everyone thinking their client isn’t half-Terminator by now. “Did we say ‘kill switch?’ Clearly we meant fuzzy happy puppy dog button. AHAHAHA! *whispers into watch* Cease death algorithm. Repeat. Cease death algorithm.”

Photo: Pacific Coast News


  1. Que

    Que look horible.,

  2. Que

    que whiorebull i mena.

  3. Taz

    The fugs in the ad are gross. Dear Jersy, No one likes the way you talk or look.

  4. Ok Heidi...

    She’s had another nose job (you don’t wear tape for a nose job that happened a year ago) and a reverse brow lift, hence why her roots haven’t been colored in months. Sheesh

    • Burt

      Don’t know if it’s new surgery or a light application of makeup, but her face certainly looks much more natural than it has in a while.

  5. Marcus

    This just ruined the rest of my year

  6. Ann

    This is not a current picture of Heidi. I don’t know who it is but they are recovering from a nose job.

  7. snarkyscreenname

    Doesn’t look a thing like Heidi Slutbag to me. Chin is wrong. Brows are wrong. Hairline is wrong and I am pretty sure this girls has blue eyes, not brown. Can’t say for sure. Of course they are a little fuzzy because there is no way they can just be upfront about anything.

  8. Could these two possibly be any more full of shit?

  9. anon

    funny how Heidi can stop the (non-existent) sextape when no other sextapes could be. usually the porn guys just force their hand and tape is being released take your money or don’t…

    heidi being a lesbian is probably true considering she pretends to be married to Spencer but the tape never happened.

    • McFeely Smackup

      the “porn guys” don’t and CAN’T force anyone’s hand. Those are just the excuses people use for why they “had to release the tape” and get paid a shitload of money for it.

      See, it’s like this. If Kim Kardashian releases a tape of her sucking cocks, then she’s a “porn star”. If Kim Kardashian has a private tape that she just couldn’t stop from being released, then she’s a celebrity with a “sex tape”. The fact that she gets paid for sucking cocks on film either way doesn’t seem to matter for some reason.

      • anonymous

        Kim K’s tape is a bad example. Everyone know she released that on purpose. She owes her career from porn.

        IIRC think the Pamela A tape was one that couldn’t be stopped from released. Then again, Pamela could have handed that sucker by hand.

    • mcfeely smackup

      of course pam anderson could have stopped the tape from being released, why would you even think otherwise. Pam and Tommy owned the tape, it’s not like someone else can steal something from someone and then sell it in front of the whole world. There’s so many laws against that stuff that it’s completely unrealistic.

  10. Lady Blah Blah

    Heidi Montag? Looks more like Heidi Skintag.

  11. friendlystoner

    judging by her nose in the pics, looks like she`s got the same doc as wacko jacko did. at least that means she wont be with us for much longer.

  12. Amorfismos

    A wild tranny has appeared!

  13. javiera

    she looks so much better without makeup!! and with regular clothes..because she´s always in thight clothes and her hermès birkin bag that is so clichè and thinking that it´ll give her “social status”"”, so clichéee…

  14. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    Wait… Please don’t tell me this is Heidi Montag pre-op? OH MY GOD… What kind of horrible self esteem issues does this girl have that she had to go from THIS to what she is now? I hate you, Hollywood! How fucked up is this…

  15. KumaTenshi

    Is this a recent photo?? Is that part of a fake nose on her real nose????

    Given that her and her damn monkey boy are completely fake, wouldn’t surprise me she didn’t do any surgery and instead was wearing prosthetics this whole time to have her face go back to normal THAT fast.

  16. captain america

    she is runnig a brothel now, folks?

  17. sobrietyisacrutch

    “I’m still not putting my pants back on.”

    Can you do it for us?

  18. bitingontinfoil

    Hey Heidi: WWJD? Oh right, he’d disfigure himself in the name of vanity, whore himself out for publicity in the name of greed and make a sex tape w/a woman while probably vic’d out of his damn mind! Someone just drop these two in a hole

  19. badquantasun

    Well, she looks like a different woman, a lot better!

    Did she do a regressive surgery or something like that?

    She´s a pretty girl now and a year before she was ugly

    Is this foto right? I mean, is it new?

    In that case : Congratulations Heidi

  20. WowzersTrowzers

    Break out the hot pink Britney tranny wig. Her hair has to be violating some type of law. She’s rocking the skunk look- dark w/some splash of nappy white. If she’s getting some work done- I hope they deflate those yoga balls bolted to her chest. She looks like a total moron w/those things pushed up to her chinS.

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