I’m still not putting my pants back on.
Heidi Montag has fired off a letter to Vivid’s Steve Hirsch effectively shutting down any chance of the sex tape that never really existed – unless you ask Karissa Shannon – seeing the light of day now that it’s sprayed everyone in the face with hot, wet publicity. Of course, semen innuendos aside, I’m also going to assume the letter doubled as a Thank You card for actually being stupid enough to believe these two in the first place. “Seriously? Us? Your funeral.” TMZ reports:
Sources close to the couple tell us Spencer’s rep shot a letter to Hirsch explaining, “Heidi’s made it very clear that she is not interested in releasing any tapes” … adding, “It looks like she pulled the kill switch.”
The letter also explains, “Spencer’s not interested in further destroying their relationship by pursuing an avenue she’s so vehemently against.”
Spencer’s rep also told Hirsch that Pratt “thought $5 million would be enough to convince her, but now [Heidi] is saying she’ll bring out the legal team if he persists.”
I’m pretty sure “looks like she pulled the kill switch” is the type of terminology Heidi’s people want to avoid if they want to keep everyone thinking their client isn’t half-Terminator by now. “Did we say ‘kill switch?’ Clearly we meant fuzzy happy puppy dog button. AHAHAHA! *whispers into watch* Cease death algorithm. Repeat. Cease death algorithm.”
Photo: Pacific Coast News
Que | September 1, 2010 at 4:58 pm
Que look horible.,
jawah 018 | September 2, 2010 at 7:53 am
Spencer > Andy Kauffman
bitingontinfoil | September 2, 2010 at 9:24 am
wow! I don’t believe you could’ve offended the genius of Andy Kauffman any worse!
Que | September 1, 2010 at 4:58 pm
que whiorebull i mena.
McFeely Smackup | September 1, 2010 at 5:07 pm
try again
Taz | September 1, 2010 at 5:04 pm
The fugs in the ad are gross. Dear Jersy, No one likes the way you talk or look.
Hello | September 1, 2010 at 5:07 pm
I was thinking the same thing. Holy crap, wash off half the makeup please. I wouldn’t go to Jersey with an engraved invitation,.
Rush | September 1, 2010 at 5:11 pm
or put your legs behind your head and get it over with.
glace neuf | September 1, 2010 at 5:08 pm
dear taz – we got 2 e’s and that’s one small facet of NJ
♫ | September 1, 2010 at 5:15 pm
btw, look at the blue-eyed one’s clavicle, it’s way off-center compared to her cleave …..is it bad photoshop or a product of living on a landfill?
pimp | September 1, 2010 at 5:38 pm
only thing i notice is the cum catcher chin…
UY | September 1, 2010 at 8:50 pm
They look like monkeys.
Ok Heidi... | September 1, 2010 at 5:05 pm
She’s had another nose job (you don’t wear tape for a nose job that happened a year ago) and a reverse brow lift, hence why her roots haven’t been colored in months. Sheesh
Burt | September 2, 2010 at 12:53 am
Don’t know if it’s new surgery or a light application of makeup, but her face certainly looks much more natural than it has in a while.
Marcus | September 1, 2010 at 5:06 pm
This just ruined the rest of my year
Ann | September 1, 2010 at 5:12 pm
This is not a current picture of Heidi. I don’t know who it is but they are recovering from a nose job.
snarkyscreenname | September 1, 2010 at 5:26 pm
Doesn’t look a thing like Heidi Slutbag to me. Chin is wrong. Brows are wrong. Hairline is wrong and I am pretty sure this girls has blue eyes, not brown. Can’t say for sure. Of course they are a little fuzzy because there is no way they can just be upfront about anything.
phillyb | September 1, 2010 at 5:34 pm
Could these two possibly be any more full of shit?
anon | September 1, 2010 at 5:37 pm
funny how Heidi can stop the (non-existent) sextape when no other sextapes could be. usually the porn guys just force their hand and tape is being released take your money or don’t…
heidi being a lesbian is probably true considering she pretends to be married to Spencer but the tape never happened.
McFeely Smackup | September 1, 2010 at 5:54 pm
the “porn guys” don’t and CAN’T force anyone’s hand. Those are just the excuses people use for why they “had to release the tape” and get paid a shitload of money for it.
See, it’s like this. If Kim Kardashian releases a tape of her sucking cocks, then she’s a “porn star”. If Kim Kardashian has a private tape that she just couldn’t stop from being released, then she’s a celebrity with a “sex tape”. The fact that she gets paid for sucking cocks on film either way doesn’t seem to matter for some reason.
anonymous | September 1, 2010 at 11:10 pm
Kim K’s tape is a bad example. Everyone know she released that on purpose. She owes her career from porn.
IIRC think the Pamela A tape was one that couldn’t be stopped from released. Then again, Pamela could have handed that sucker by hand.
mcfeely smackup | September 2, 2010 at 12:10 am
of course pam anderson could have stopped the tape from being released, why would you even think otherwise. Pam and Tommy owned the tape, it’s not like someone else can steal something from someone and then sell it in front of the whole world. There’s so many laws against that stuff that it’s completely unrealistic.
Lady Blah Blah | September 1, 2010 at 6:35 pm
Heidi Montag? Looks more like Heidi Skintag.
friendlystoner | September 1, 2010 at 6:39 pm
judging by her nose in the pics, looks like she`s got the same doc as wacko jacko did. at least that means she wont be with us for much longer.
Amorfismos | September 1, 2010 at 7:19 pm
A wild tranny has appeared!
Angelina | September 1, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Wild Tranny used Attract. It’s not very effective!
javiera | September 1, 2010 at 7:56 pm
she looks so much better without makeup!! and with regular clothes..because she´s always in thight clothes and her hermès birkin bag that is so clichè and thinking that it´ll give her “social status”"”, so clichéee…
Mel Gibson's Shrink | September 1, 2010 at 8:25 pm
Wait… Please don’t tell me this is Heidi Montag pre-op? OH MY GOD… What kind of horrible self esteem issues does this girl have that she had to go from THIS to what she is now? I hate you, Hollywood! How fucked up is this…
Alexandra Hemale | September 2, 2010 at 7:29 am
You took the words outta my mouth. She actually looks adorable here, very pretty.
KumaTenshi | September 1, 2010 at 9:24 pm
Is this a recent photo?? Is that part of a fake nose on her real nose????
Given that her and her damn monkey boy are completely fake, wouldn’t surprise me she didn’t do any surgery and instead was wearing prosthetics this whole time to have her face go back to normal THAT fast.
captain america | September 1, 2010 at 11:31 pm
she is runnig a brothel now, folks?
sobrietyisacrutch | September 2, 2010 at 12:22 am
“I’m still not putting my pants back on.”
Can you do it for us?
bitingontinfoil | September 2, 2010 at 9:27 am
Hey Heidi: WWJD? Oh right, he’d disfigure himself in the name of vanity, whore himself out for publicity in the name of greed and make a sex tape w/a woman while probably vic’d out of his damn mind! Someone just drop these two in a hole
badquantasun | September 2, 2010 at 12:29 pm
Well, she looks like a different woman, a lot better!
Did she do a regressive surgery or something like that?
She´s a pretty girl now and a year before she was ugly
Is this foto right? I mean, is it new?
In that case : Congratulations Heidi
WowzersTrowzers | September 2, 2010 at 8:28 pm
Break out the hot pink Britney tranny wig. Her hair has to be violating some type of law. She’s rocking the skunk look- dark w/some splash of nappy white. If she’s getting some work done- I hope they deflate those yoga balls bolted to her chest. She looks like a total moron w/those things pushed up to her chinS.