Heidi Montag Stops Fictional Sex Tape Release

I’m still not putting my pants back on.

Heidi Montag has fired off a letter to Vivid’s Steve Hirsch effectively shutting down any chance of the sex tape that never really existed – unless you ask Karissa Shannon – seeing the light of day now that it’s sprayed everyone in the face with hot, wet publicity. Of course, semen innuendos aside, I’m also going to assume the letter doubled as a Thank You card for actually being stupid enough to believe these two in the first place. “Seriously? Us? Your funeral.” TMZ reports:

Sources close to the couple tell us Spencer’s rep shot a letter to Hirsch explaining, “Heidi’s made it very clear that she is not interested in releasing any tapes” … adding, “It looks like she pulled the kill switch.”
The letter also explains, “Spencer’s not interested in further destroying their relationship by pursuing an avenue she’s so vehemently against.”
Spencer’s rep also told Hirsch that Pratt “thought $5 million would be enough to convince her, but now [Heidi] is saying she’ll bring out the legal team if he persists.”

I’m pretty sure “looks like she pulled the kill switch” is the type of terminology Heidi’s people want to avoid if they want to keep everyone thinking their client isn’t half-Terminator by now. “Did we say ‘kill switch?’ Clearly we meant fuzzy happy puppy dog button. AHAHAHA! *whispers into watch* Cease death algorithm. Repeat. Cease death algorithm.”

Photo: Pacific Coast News