Heidi Montag: ‘My Dead Doctor Ruined Me’

“I can’t even swim with these things. *sobs*

Despite revering the late Dr. Frank Ryan as a man who “changed the world” by giving her stupid huge breasts after scooping out her back, Heidi Montag is now regretting her metamorphosis and blames her maker for saying it’d be like getting her nails done. Via The Fab Life:

As the dead can’t talk back, Heidi’s blaming her late enabler, Dr. Frank Ryan, whom she called “the most amazing person I have ever known…an angel” when he died in August (a week before she announced it was impossible to work out with those boobs), for her poor choices. “It was a lot harder than I was led on by my doctor…I didn’t know how excessive it really was.”

You know what? I’m actually going to believe Heidi on this one considering she seems to be exactly the type who’d accept anything a man in a lab coat told her as fact. Not to mention pretty much any man, in any coat, at any given time.

HEIDI: The aliens are in your what?
NAKED GUY: And there’s only “one way” to get them out.
HEIDI: Oh, no! But Spencer never taught me how to-
SPENCER: *climbs out of her boobs* It’s cool, baby, I got this.
NAKED GUY: No, wait! I was only-
SPENCER: For Earth!


Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News