Heidi Montag’s Still Alive

And this is why future sex robots should be biodegradable. How many times do I have say it?

The last time Heidi Montag was on the site it was September 2011, although some of us will always believe in our hearts that she never really left us. Anyway, here she is making a rare, and completely surprising, public appearance at Kristin Cavallari’s baby shower who apparently wanted to feel really, really good about herself because pregnancy can be a motherfucker on the ol’ self esteem.

KRISTIN: Ohmygod, Heidi! How have you been? Tell me everything.
HEIDI: Well, my plastic surgeries are really starting to hurt, but the doctors say I can’t die because I’m technically not even human anymore. Also, I’m still married to Spencer- wow, you are really beaming. Pregnancy glow?
KRISTIN: Sure. Hey, you know what would be fun? Let’s talk about your music career!

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News