And this is why future sex robots should be biodegradable. How many times do I have say it?
The last time Heidi Montag was on the site it was September 2011, although some of us will always believe in our hearts that she never really left us. Anyway, here she is making a rare, and completely surprising, public appearance at Kristin Cavallari‘s baby shower who apparently wanted to feel really, really good about herself because pregnancy can be a motherfucker on the ol’ self esteem.
KRISTIN: Ohmygod, Heidi! How have you been? Tell me everything.
HEIDI: Well, my plastic surgeries are really starting to hurt, but the doctors say I can’t die because I’m technically not even human anymore. Also, I’m still married to Spencer- wow, you are really beaming. Pregnancy glow?
KRISTIN: Sure. Hey, you know what would be fun? Let’s talk about your music career!
Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News
She sounds just like Robocop when she walks.
I bet she squeaks when you stick it in her ass.
She had all that plastic surgery because Kurtwood Smith and the gang dismembered her with shotguns. True story.
I complained because they are way too huge and fake. That goes for the tits also.
does she realize how terrible she looks with those tits?
Looks like she took the Cow’s ass and put it on her chest.
Those tits make her look fat and we know she’s not.
I really need to see those tits bouncing as her nude oil covered body bounces up and down on my penis as I lie on my back and do absolutely nothing to help until I erupt in spurts before I can make that assumption.
I figure that after she experience another year or two of unemployment I should be able to get that chance at the Mustang Ranch. I’m imagining her dick head husband will have the coveted job of mop boy there by then.
As warm and fuzzy as that sounds, and I hate to burst your bubble, but those tits? Those tits right there do NOT bounce.
As far as I can tell this site alone was propping up her fame. When the coverage here ended that was pretty much it- she had no choice but to take Spencer’s balls and go home.
Speidi? Oh, shit. There goes the Superficial.
ya know… aside from the whole “horrible excuse for a human being” she’s actually bangable looking (for store bought pretty anyway)
Dividing the pict is really a head trip. From the chest up, it could be Angeline; Chest and purse it could be Jessica Simpson; from the waist down, Avril Levine? Miley Cyrus? I don’t even know.
What the FUCK? They “find” Nick Stahl and all of a sudden everyone else who wasn’t missing also pops up to check in? Hint: if we’re not filing a missing person’s report, we don’t fucking care about you.
And you might want to consider that if you do jump up and start calling attention to yourself – and I’m looking at you, Spencer Asshole Pratt – that hitman I hired has no more convenient excuses to postpone the job.
The car door must be opened for her since she cant see anything past her tits.
Front view:
[img]http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/8575/bethchapmansouthpark.jpg[/img]
bleached anus! yes please!
also, that chin is perfect for my balls to slam against…
Bitch bitch bitch. Who do you guys like? Please don’t tell me Rihanna.
She needs to just do porn already.
Yeah she’s plastic, but I still want to bang her. Bang her hard.
Be careful, cheap plastic cracks like a motherfucker.
I swore this was Jess Simpson until I saw the headline.
Could almost feel sorry for this dummy…..she and partner in dumbness threw away how much money in their futile pursuit of everlasting beauty & UltraFame?
I never thought I would say this, but what a sight for sore eyes!
She’s BACK? DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! (etc)
she’s looking better actually.
she just needs to get rid of the huge tits
she was naturally anyways
those big tits need to go
Manface.
It’s like a wax museum with a pulse.
Let us all take a moment to remember this:
http://www.thesuperficial.com/heidi_spencer_get_used_to_this-10-2008
goddamn, i’ve been hanging around here for far too long.
Now if only Fish had lived up to that promise.
I’d buy that for a dollar.
> I just love fake stripper tits on dumb chicks.
> BTW Fish, I never once complained about having the human Barbi in any kind of pose that exposed those enormous plastic/flesh melons or any other medically enhanced parts. It’s when you included that ass wipe boyfriend that used to irk me to no end.
> Speaking of that useless douche, do they still live in the basement of his parents house, or have they taken big step and gotten a double-wide of their own yet?
Weren’t they living in the basement of Eric Forman’s parents house?
Agreed.
If a truck hit Montag and splattered her all over the place they’d have to call out the hazmat specialists in specialist protective gear to clean up the mess.
Fish, as I read these posts, it’s evident that many of the Superficial “readers” not only miss Heidi, but would appreciate having her come back in all kinds of stupid and embarrassing photos that we could mock to high heaven.
It is also evident that we want to have nothing to do with her husband, What’s his Name. Perhaps you could cut him out of the pictures or at least replace him with various close-ups of LOLcat faces.
Pretty (shitty) In Pink
Nice balloons.
I hated her when she was around but the shit that has popped up since she has been gone makes me want her back. Not the Spencer douche though, he can stay the fuck away.
@ Yeahhu … they DO need to go. Her plastic surgeon died in an awful car accident (probably while texting), but can’t she go to another surgeon and have them removed ffs ? Oh right … she probably can’t afford it. They look ridiculous don’t they ? Worse than Pam’s. Block out the fucking sun, why don’t you ?
And we still don’t care if she is or not.
I just lost a few brain cells looking at this photo
…Define “alive.”
she’s a cute girl-next door. Her tits are the right size in my opinion and all the better that they are fake. Real tits are gross and soft and floppy–especially when they are big.
I am going to get killed for this BUT
i actually like her tits
for someone who has had these hundreds of surgeries to be perfect, she seems to have an awful fucking warped view of what is perfect as she looks horrible. Trailer trash on steroids. Is she doing this to be taken serious because if this is the case its an enormous (as big as her fake tits) fail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think we should start moooin her too!!!
It’s been so long since I last saw Heidi that she almost looks fuckable. But I could go forever without seeing her fucking dick head, piece of shit spouse, good old, unforgettable, Whatever-His-Name-Is.
Well, it was a nice run while it lasted.
Does seeing her remind you of just how fat you are?
Yes, it reminds my 120lb ass with natural C tits exactly what kind of fat ass I am. Muah!
Is a blow up doll really an appropriate baby shower gift?
Did anyone else think of Portal when they read the title?
Meh, doesn’t really look as bad as right after the surgery…probably because she’s finally healed and all the swelling has gone down. Too much make up and I reckon she starts looking like life-sized Barbie again.
That said, I bet Spencer absolutely declares war on those tits whenever he gets a chance. Sure they’re big and fake but they’re not too obnoxious to slap around for a few hours a night.
I think that her breast make her body look bigger. She is naturally tiny but those boobs looks funny on her. She is beautiful I’m a heidi fan but I think she looked better before :(
Probably the only way ol’ Spencer’s “absolutely declaring war” on anything is if there’s a wiener hiding underneath it, or something.
Allegedly.
I am so happy about how stupid she looks.
Wake me up when this bitch dies.
Why does she have a balloon for a girl??
We’re not happy about how stupid you look.
:(