Heidi Montag is Researching Stripping

November 2nd, 2010 // 65 Comments

Apparently Heidi Montag is still in the music business despite her album Superficial selling five copies, even with my name on it, because she plans on shooting a new video next week. That or she found a convenient excuse for all those job applications she filled out the other day. Via Twitter:

Going to Hustler strip club want to pick up some tips for my music video Ill do it that I am shooting next week

This might come as a shock to some people, but I’m actually on board with this. Think about it for a second: The end result will be a video we were all going to be subjected to anyway except now the large-breasted star has been trained by strippers. It’s like eating your last meal only to find a lap dance hidden in the mashed potatoes. Sure, a gun would’ve been nicer, but who’s going to argue tits aren’t the next best thing? It’s not like there’s a version of humans walking around with their own personal pair. Ha! Could you imagine? It’d be like a science fiction movie.

Photos: Splash News, WENN, WireImage

superficial

  1. jerdog

    First

  2. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    samburinya
    Commented on this photo:

    rrrrrreallmente hermoooooosoooo!!!!!!

  3. phil

    id hit it… if i didnt have a girlfriend that was 100x hotter than her :D

  4. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    burton
    Commented on this photo:

    YUCK…living wax.

  5. That Guy

    Stripping won’t help. Even her 1st music video, she’s in a BIKINI the entire time and still sold (according to Fish) only 5 copies. I believe him because he’s a gossip columnist.

  6. jumpin_j

    Fading into obscurity, fading… fading…. fading….

  7. Jake

    He plastic surgery is starting to loosen up and look more normal. I’m digging her here, (except for the first pic)

  8. Turd Ferguson

    Been a great few months without these fucktards.
    Please go back to not showing them kthxbhai.

  9. Getting a little fat in the ass there heidi, if u dont mine me saying. I mean nothing a little surgery couldnt fix. No offence. Just sayin..

  10. Rough skills & power tools

    She looks great and I’m digging that backside too…Who is she banging again?

  11. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    Marc
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is she? She looks very boring and dumb…

  12. Lady Blah Blah

    This country needs a major purge. Quietly, in the dead of night, people like Heidi and Spencer could be disappeared. I have a long list: Heidi and Spencer, Perez Hilton, Paris Hilton, Deryck Whibley (I don’t like his face, does anyone?), the Kardashians, that guy who says, “You’ve won!” in pop up ads on the web, etc.

  13. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    Rush
    Commented on this photo:

    1. i like that tit.
    2. if you don’t, you don’t like chicks.
    bye!

  14. Elle

    Her breasts offend me.

  15. It’s good to know I have a groupie **Pats Hetero on the head and feeds him a scooby snack** Good boy … now, go to your room and play with your barbie’s.

    Heidi Montag, as fake as she is, doesn’t bother me as much as Spencer. I think she would be bearable without that twit (No, not Hetero) constantly trying to manipulate the media in an attempt to make themselves relevant in some way. Heidi, just go into porn. It’s all you really have left to offer.

    • Cock Dr

      I agree. Her anatomy is her destiny. She would make a mint. And being a profound & delusional dumbass she would immediately pour that money right back into her “singing” career.
      Heidi Montag doing porn would stimulate the economy & probably quite a few of the SW’s regular posters.

    • I hate to admit it, but she is starting to grow into her plastic surgery and is looking pretty good. Seriously, if she got rid of Spencer and started doing some classy double-anal flicks, then we’d be in business.

  16. atotalcad

    She can’t do any stripper moves – the boob surgery (and other surgery) prohibits her from quick, up and down or side to side moves. She just a inflexible, uncoordinated, untalented dim-wit.

  17. I can’t believe these two used condoms are still breathing and trying to show some intelligence. Lets see if a sponge is smarter than a horse, a horse is smarter than a rock where do these two scabs on a elbow stand?

  18. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    Commented on this photo:

    what the shit is up with her sideboob. why is it so white? flash? make up? wtf

    id still hit.

  19. anonym

    and i thought we were done with her.

    why can’t you let us just forget about her?

  20. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow.

  21. sobrietyisacrutch

    What the hell kind of venues invite these 2 asshats to their events? I can’t believe that any organizer of any kind says, “Holy shit! We have GOT to invite Heidi and Spencer! It just won’t work without them!”
    May they burn in hell. Amen.

  22. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    ABeauty22
    Commented on this photo:

    Her boobs are wayyyy 2 big for her body!!! Plus, she looks like she’s a 35 yr old/ playboy plastic surgeried out bimbo!

  23. Rocky's Bullwinkle

    I’d be happy to motorboat her first then say hello to her brown starfish.

  24. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    ABeauty22
    Commented on this photo:

    She looked soo much better after her first nose job…… this one looks like it’s ready 2 collapse

  25. Hello

    Good lord she’s a beast. I recommend plastic surgery.

  26. ugh

    Here I was just thinking to myself….Self – even with the elections, all seems well with the world, why?…hmmm…haven’t heard about those two whack jobs, plastic meat bag and jeremiah johnson…..

    You just had to go and wreck my little corner of happiness, didn’t you.

  27. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    JaHo
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d be all up in that stuff…if d-bag Spencer hadn’t already been there. She needs some serious disinfecting. Anyone got some Lysol? Clorox? Anyone? Anyone?

  28. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    yikes
    Commented on this photo:

    shes got that plastic surgery pinched nose look going on in pic 15. she looks heavier, but i guess you can’t exercise often when you have size F boobs. absurd.

  29. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    yikes
    Commented on this photo:

    shes got that plastic surgery pinched nose look going on in pic 15. she looks heavier, but i guess you can’t exercise often when you have size F boobs. absurd.

  30. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    Kat
    Commented on this photo:

    She is not looking too great. Looks like it’s time to text the Doc…..oh, wait

  31. slapkatyperry

    pic #5 he’s dressed as a hefty™ trash bag; Now go stand at the curb and wait for the trash man you loser

  32. jay

    Researching? Please, she’s already a pro. And it ‘s really only a matter of time before she and Douche Canoe “leak” another porno flick. But it’s OK, Jesus told her to do it.

  33. wim

    her profession is to drive men crazy.
    BUT SHE NEVER EVER FUCKS!!
    (I can assure you that)

  34. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    sandra
    Commented on this photo:

    she has gained some weight! at least 5-10 pounds. The ginormous boobs aren’t helping her case. She is still thin, but definitely not as fit as before.

  35. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    TRISH
    Commented on this photo:

    HEIDI IS NOW A PROFESSIONAL BEGGER!!! SHE HAS JUICED HERSELF UP WITH SO MUCH PLASTIC AND BOTOX SHE WILL NEVER HAVE TO INVEST IN A HALLOWEEN COSTUME CAUSE SHE IS NATURALLY SCARY ENOUGH. ANYWAY, ALL OF THIS IS FOR ATTENTION (ISNT THAT A SHOCKER) SO, INORDER FOR HER TO KEEP THE SPOT LITE ON HER SELF SHE ALTERS HER LOOK THEN STOCKS ANYONE WHO HAS ACCESS TO A CAMERA AND GETS THEM TO START CLICKING !! I HAVE NEVER SEEN OR HEARD OF A PERSON SO DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION THAT THEY WOULD CHANGE THEIR ALREADY BAD LOOK . NO ONE WILL EVER FOR GIVE HEIDI FOR NOT STOPPING THAT A HOLE OF A HUSBAND FROM TREATING LC FROM THE HILLS THE WAY HE DID . SPENCER BULLIED HER (LAUREN CONRAD) BY POSTING THAT STUFF ON THE NET. NOT ONLY ARE HEIDI AND SPENCER UGLY TO LOOK AT THEY ARE UGLY ON THE INSIDE, THEY ARE SO IMMATURE, AND EXTREMELY MEAN AND DO NOT DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH ANY KIND OF RESPECT SO IF HEIDI WANTS TO TAKE HER CLOTHS OFF FOR THE CAMERA WELL THEN GO FOR IT CAUSE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO WILL PAY MONEY TO LOOK AT HER NASTY BODY ARE DIRTY OLD MEN !!! YUK THAT JUST GROSSES ME OUT!! IF I WERE HER FAMILY I WOULD RUN AND NEVER BE HEARD FROM EVER AGAIN. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF WHEN IT COMES TO HEIDI SHE IS A GOOF AND A LOSER WHO TRIES TO INCLUDE HER NAME WITH VERY CLASSIE WOMEN WHO HAVE POSED NUDE FOR HIGH CLASS MAGAZINES WHICH APPRENTLY HAVE GOOD READING (I DO NOT KNOW AS I HAVE NEVER READ ONE) ANYWAY THIS IS WHAT I AM TOLD AND NONE OF THESE WOMEN ARE FAKE THEY ARE ALL NATURAL WITH THE POSSIBILITY OR EXCEPTION OF HAVING THEIR BREAST SIZE INCREASED BY A CUP OR TWO, BUT OTHER THAN THAT WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT THEY REALLY ARE. NOW THAT SHE CLAIMS TO BE PUTTING OUT ANOTHER RECORD WHAT MAKES HER THINK SHE IS GOING TO SELL ANY OF THEM?? COME ON HEIDI THE PAST SPEAKS FOR ITSELF !!! THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW WE WILL BE VIEWING PHOTO’S OF HEIDI POSING FOR HER MUG SHOT AT THE LOCAL JAIL CAUSE SHE GOT CAUGHT HOOKING, TRYING TO RAISE MONEY CAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR HER SING OR SEE HER DANCE OR EVEN STRIP!!! LOL LOL

  36. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    JubeJubes
    Commented on this photo:

    i hate to be mean, but does anyone else still think she’s kind of a minger?

  37. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s not enjoying that kiss

  38. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    na
    Commented on this photo:

    Photo 6 is the best summary of these two I’ve ever seen.

  39. Valentina

    Heidi Montag should research killing herself. Fuck…she’s gross. How can somebody spend $100,000 on plastic surgery and STILL be so fucking ugly?

  40. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    butthole
    Commented on this photo:

    spencers been feeding heidi well shes not so toned anymore shes a little piggy

  41. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    puddleduck
    Commented on this photo:

    oh no… thought these dirt bags died

  42. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    Hello
    Commented on this photo:

    Her head looks gigantic. It’s like she got her head inflated.

  43. cc

    Oh please, research? In between the plastic surgery and her fiasco of an album, I’d be surprised if she has two bills to rub together. I mean, she got paid reasonably well on The Hills, but she’s done fuck all else since then, except spend money.

    You can add her to the list of bankrupt c-listers in what, maybe a month?

  44. butthole

    spencers been feeding heidi well shes not so toned anymore shes a little piggy

  45. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    horsefaceskank
    Commented on this photo:

    if the shoes come off will her ass hit the floor?
    wow …photos are ‘shopped to hell …
    hey moron , you’d hit your own mother no doubt !

  46. Emilay

    Remember back when she was human??

  47. Heidi Montag Spencer Pratt Halloween 2010
    Skeets
    Commented on this photo:

    No shit, this woman is bangin! All the haters will be here to call her names though.

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