Heidi Montag Found Some Suckers

August 25th, 2010 // 43 Comments

With it already being confirmed that Heidi Montag was in on Spencer Pratt‘s sex tape scam the whole time, that didn’t stop her from selling an exclusive interview to Life & Style before they had time to figure out she just lied her way to the bank:

On the bullshit that landed this entire interview:
“I’m not aware of his filming me, but I wouldn’t put it past Spencer. He’s a sneaky guy and has little cameras everywhere that he got from China.”

On her bullshit fear about the sex tape being released:
“I’m mortified at the thought that people could be looking at me naked before I had the surgery.”

On hating her Size F breasts which is bullshit:
“I’m desperate to go back to normal. I’m downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D.I have major anxiety about it. I was taking painkillers but they weren’t working so I stopped. It hurt either way. I’m obsessed with fitness but it’s impossible to work out with these boobs. It’s heartbreaking. I can’t live an everyday life.”

On how she’s stuck like this forever thanks to the death of Dr. Frank Ryan. — Bullshit:
“There’s just no fixing it. Dr. Ryan knows the work he did, he knows everything.”

In Life & Style’s defense, I can see how they might assume Heidi Montag is an innocent victim and not at all a carefully orchestrated publicity stunt wrapped in silicone that she apparently can never escape from because Dr. Ryan took the Matrix Cube with him to the underworld. She loves Jesus, you guys, and a Christian would never do porn, especially the gay kind, for a giant back end deal potentially in the millions. That’d be like Rupert Murdoch’s Saudi business partner funding the “mosque” at Ground Zero while FOX News pretends it’s a secret terrorist haven for ratings. These things just don’t happen.

Photos: Life & Style, Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. All these things are happening in celebrity news and within the world – and the front page story is about Heidi Montag removing her breast implants? Seriously? She got front page of all the magazines when she got her surgery & now she’s having the boobs removed? What is she going to sprinkle them on Dr. Frank Ryan’s grave? Seriously. And I thought she wanted bigger boobs… sighs.

    • Brooke

      Yeah, H-Cups… “Because Heidi starts with H!” I kind of used to feel sorry for her, way back when she and Spencer first got together. I thought she was a girl who just wanted to be prom queen, but now… I think she’s worse than Spencer (who also wanted to be prom queen).

  2. And on the cover with the Housewives of NJ.
    I started watching that show last week & I see that “Danielle” one of the housewives that all the other ones hate isn’t on the cover.

  3. Heidi Montag
    burton
    Commented on this photo:

    man jaw.

  4. Spencer loves the cock

    These two stupid fucks arent even worth keeping up with. They think people actually gives a shit what they do or thing. Spence Pratt could die in a firey car crash and i wouldnt even think about it or say oh poor guy. They’re both worthless human beings who need to get real jobs. I don’t give a shit about their scams or whatever “clever” thing they think they’re trying to do. Just die already.

  5. T1

    Where did heidi and spencer come from again? was it laguna beach?

  6. T1

    I mean show wise.

  7. Heidi Montag
    Megan
    Commented on this photo:

    what a fucking idiot.

    • fap

      …and yet the world seems obsessed with her idiocy, and so is willing to pay her for the right to watch the mess…which I believe makes the world dumber than she is. She is making money off you (stupid, stupid) people.

  8. Fish offiicially sucks

    when did he stop being amusing and start crow-baring his lame political opinions down our throats (but disguised as jokes- yay!). I used to come here for a laugh, not your dopey agenda. Show us more tits and shut the fuck up.
    PS- the new site architecture sucks ass, sorta like you do.

  9. So if I’m reading this correctly, Ms. Montag has no real objection to being filmed naked NOW, after her dramatic surgical makeover. So what’s the problem? Get that girl a contract and let’s make some movies.
    I really appreciate how the blogger here somehow manages to work a dig in a FOX news there at the end. Huge fake boobs & political satire is an unusual combination.

  10. Heidi Montag
    Diana
    Commented on this photo:

    Lmao @ her trying to look all natural and shit now as opposed to wearing 6 pounds of make up like she always used to.

  11. captain america

    ………..spencer pratt & friends?

  12. Heidi Montag
    vv
    Commented on this photo:

    she actually looks kind of beautiful in this pic

  13. Hello

    Is it me or is that the most normal-Heidi her face has looked post-surgery?

  14. horsefaceskank

    LAWWWWWWWWWD ..
    still writin’ about these fuckers !!!?????
    ya’ll are spencers bitches ..lol
    just bend over & let him give it to you up your desperate azz

  15. horsefaceskank

    it’s a shopped to hell digital cover like all mags ..
    do you think the celebs are natural in their foto’s ???
    my you are dumb ..
    they black out half of angelinas head & jaw & this bitch hneeds alot of work ..
    they gotta shoot her sittin down or work 3 hors tryin to make the legs appear long & create a neck by erasing the still enormous chin ..
    they do it to ALL covers ..
    some people look better than others but hollywierd in general is made up of very large headed midgets ..
    sorry to blow the fantasy ..

  16. jaseb

    Don´t remove em!!!!

  17. Jimmy

    If you get implants and want to get them taken out to be more like yourself, cool. But if you get 12 plastic surgeries and want to take the implants out to be more like yourself, well now you’re just a real life Barbie with no tits.

  18. Sizzle

    That man-face is hideous. I wouldn’t be able to fuck her with someone else’s dick. The only reason why her and that twat Spencer keep getting air time is because we keep paying attention to the shit they do, all the while claiming we don’t give a shit what they do. Spencer is like Tinkerbell – stop believing in that fairy and he’ll go away.

  19. Heidi Montag
    vv
    Commented on this photo:

    holy clavicle batman! and nice tits. she should get them bigger so they’ll be the first thing I notice, not the 2nd

  20. Job

    man evertime there is something about “Dr.Ryan” all i can think of is ‘patriot games’ and ‘a clear and present danger’

  21. K

    She should probably also consider a head reduction, that melon is looking GIANT.

  22. Lovemypubichairthick

    What happen the trance the doctor had over her died when he went off the cliff.

  23. Heidi Montag
    Ishkabibble
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you suppose she can get a refund on the face too?

    • CARLO

      OMG I love this girl!!!. I don’t bother commenting on her actions because she is “sort of an actress”. I have never seen the Hills but I have seen her pictorials and she is insanely hot. WHAT A PERFECT ASS!!! manufactured or not it’s amazing!!!

      Hate on losers.. you log on to the same shit I do for the same reasons

  24. horsefaceskank

    superficial ..
    the BITCHSLAVE of HOntag & splatt …hahaaa

  25. horsefaceskank

    yes the above comment about the potato head ..
    doc’ frankenstein made her head even more enormous with the cheek implants & bad lopsided chin job ..
    lousy doc’ ( look at HIM??!!)
    well he ain’t gonna be butchering anyone else except in hell …
    heidi has very shorty tiny legs & she shouldn’t attract attention to this ..
    photoshop is great but one must go out sometime …
    her absence of neck is also ‘shopped in when they try to erase the enormous jaw ..
    in every shot the prerequisite dark shadow to minimize this how they do with angelinas enormous big bumpy head …
    it’s quite unattractive …
    well thank gods fer photoshop …
    surgery ain’t even worth it or necessary anymore

  26. cellphone

    Is she going to do that all by herself?!

  27. m

    THANK YOU for bringing up the Fox News thing. Priceless!

  28. Patrick

    Who is the douchebag with a major hard on for anything right-wing? How long have you been hiding in the background to get your chance to write a line or two so you can indulge in your obsession?

  29. Heidi Montag
    callmesam
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care what people say, I still find her attractive and would def punish that … you get the point

  30. I can’t believe I read that interview. It was seriously the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. She is even stupider and crazier than I had imagined.

  31. Also, isn’t she like a devout Christian? Isn’t having lesbian sex with Karissa or whatever her name is in a sex tape an abomination of God?

  32. phil

    did anyone notice that it says worst bikini bodies and it shows snooki on the right? lol

  33. Heidi Montag
    Brooke
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she has tried to go back to normal (plastic surgery undone) from the most recent pics of her and Spencer. Which is a good thing…

  34. Jim

    she should remove her life

  35. Heidi Montag
    romie
    Commented on this photo:

    nobody gives a shit hedi

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