With it already being confirmed that Heidi Montag was in on Spencer Pratt‘s sex tape scam the whole time, that didn’t stop her from selling an exclusive interview to Life & Style before they had time to figure out she just lied her way to the bank:
On the bullshit that landed this entire interview:
“I’m not aware of his filming me, but I wouldn’t put it past Spencer. He’s a sneaky guy and has little cameras everywhere that he got from China.”
On her bullshit fear about the sex tape being released:
“I’m mortified at the thought that people could be looking at me naked before I had the surgery.”
On hating her Size F breasts which is bullshit:
“I’m desperate to go back to normal. I’m downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D.I have major anxiety about it. I was taking painkillers but they weren’t working so I stopped. It hurt either way. I’m obsessed with fitness but it’s impossible to work out with these boobs. It’s heartbreaking. I can’t live an everyday life.”
On how she’s stuck like this forever thanks to the death of Dr. Frank Ryan. — Bullshit:
“There’s just no fixing it. Dr. Ryan knows the work he did, he knows everything.”
In Life & Style’s defense, I can see how they might assume Heidi Montag is an innocent victim and not at all a carefully orchestrated publicity stunt wrapped in silicone that she apparently can never escape from because Dr. Ryan took the Matrix Cube with him to the underworld. She loves Jesus, you guys, and a Christian would never do porn, especially the gay kind, for a giant back end deal potentially in the millions. That’d be like Rupert Murdoch’s Saudi business partner funding the “mosque” at Ground Zero while FOX News pretends it’s a secret terrorist haven for ratings. These things just don’t happen.
Photos: Life & Style, Pacific Coast News
Taz | August 25, 2010 at 4:57 pm
she looks like crap in that photo
I still can't believe its not butter | August 26, 2010 at 12:43 am
LMFAO checkout the right side of the cover! apparently someone did a drive by on those merked housewives
Marcus | August 26, 2010 at 2:43 am
I doubt it was mob related, probably another housewife who didn’t make the cut for the final show.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 25, 2010 at 4:58 pm
first?
Randal | August 25, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Good job . Not only is “first” the sole territory of absolute losers, but you missed it, forever defining yourself as a twat. The memory of your fail will live on forever in the minds of your unfortunate progeny, and bind you in failure. May your chains rest lightly upon you, may history strive to forget that you were our countryman.
Oh, and Heidi is a twat as well. But at least she’s not cruising gossip sites writing “first”.
Randal
Marcus | August 25, 2010 at 7:12 pm
He was asking if he was first, not saying he was first.. See the question mark “?”
Randal(l) | August 25, 2010 at 7:19 pm
I have to disagree with you sir, as I believe she is definitely the type of twat that would cruise gossip sites and write first
Randal(l)
dudeatdudedotdude | August 26, 2010 at 10:27 am
whatever bitches, not like you contribute anything useful
Stephie | August 25, 2010 at 6:57 pm
no, you’re not first, fuckface. You’ll have to find a new reason to make your dad proud of you so he doesn’t use all 8″ in your ass again.
Creamedcorn | August 25, 2010 at 6:58 pm
when did this site get taken over by 12 yr olds?
Brooke | August 25, 2010 at 9:29 pm
3 years ago, I think.
Kelley | August 26, 2010 at 8:44 am
What in hell happened to “keep your comments relevant to the post” ??
First | August 25, 2010 at 4:59 pm
I think the headline here should be something related to crime in charging $2.99 for this magazine.
First | August 25, 2010 at 5:01 pm
The dark roots match perfectly to her blond Hair…
And her Boobs have this little audrina Patridge gap..Sweet:)
dudeatdudedotdude | August 25, 2010 at 5:01 pm
for some reason i wana fuck this nitwit anyway. hey a horse needs his oats..
EatCake | August 25, 2010 at 5:58 pm
I just can’t do it knowing that Spencer has been there. (ok, so we all know Spencer’s the captain on Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boatride, but even the notion of him being there would deter me from her barrell of love pudding) I’ll TF her instead.
. | August 25, 2010 at 6:59 pm
don’t worry, dudeatdouchedudedot.douche doesn’t care. He’s a closet case.
The MAN | August 25, 2010 at 7:08 pm
I want to spew my sticky load in and around her love slit!
___ | August 26, 2010 at 6:10 pm
Hey, “The MAN,” only a total douche would say something like that. Are you Spencer Pratt or something?
Jimbo | August 25, 2010 at 5:57 pm
What part of her and Spencer being douche bags played a part in their fake marriage and fake sex tape that ruined her life? A plastic Barbie doll has more personality than she does…..
Turd Ferguson | August 25, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Wow – sorry there honey, but you never WERE normal and you’ll never BE normal. Normal people dont go through all the Superficial bullshit you do and spread horsehit propaganda.
get-high | August 25, 2010 at 6:01 pm
Wanna ‘be gay’ now, Heidi???
get-high | August 25, 2010 at 6:07 pm
I wouldn’t lick her pussy even though she’d get the tiniest implants. enough said.
Later.
alexis | August 25, 2010 at 6:16 pm
this girl is clearly mentally ill. how do you flip stories and create such garbage without making URSELF sickkkk! shes clearly insane and i don’t think either spencer or heidi have a conscience.
pimp | August 25, 2010 at 6:17 pm
i’d give her asshole a steady diet of my dick…
Bronson | August 25, 2010 at 7:14 pm
It would be a diet, considering both inches wouldn’t go very far.
More like a “snack” than a diet.
The MAN | August 25, 2010 at 7:56 pm
Why not her pussy? Why the dirty asshole? I will never undersatnd the desire to explore the asshole
pimp | August 25, 2010 at 10:29 pm
that’s the cleanest asshole in hollywood…i would eat her farts…
DEATH BY STONING IN HOLLYWOOD | August 25, 2010 at 6:29 pm
CHIN STILL HUGE
nikkyraney | August 25, 2010 at 6:47 pm
All these things are happening in celebrity news and within the world – and the front page story is about Heidi Montag removing her breast implants? Seriously? She got front page of all the magazines when she got her surgery & now she’s having the boobs removed? What is she going to sprinkle them on Dr. Frank Ryan’s grave? Seriously. And I thought she wanted bigger boobs… sighs.
Brooke | August 25, 2010 at 9:33 pm
Yeah, H-Cups… “Because Heidi starts with H!” I kind of used to feel sorry for her, way back when she and Spencer first got together. I thought she was a girl who just wanted to be prom queen, but now… I think she’s worse than Spencer (who also wanted to be prom queen).
Kelley | August 26, 2010 at 8:47 am
Good one !
nikkyraney | August 25, 2010 at 6:49 pm
And on the cover with the Housewives of NJ.
I started watching that show last week & I see that “Danielle” one of the housewives that all the other ones hate isn’t on the cover.
Spencer loves the cock | August 25, 2010 at 7:12 pm
These two stupid fucks arent even worth keeping up with. They think people actually gives a shit what they do or thing. Spence Pratt could die in a firey car crash and i wouldnt even think about it or say oh poor guy. They’re both worthless human beings who need to get real jobs. I don’t give a shit about their scams or whatever “clever” thing they think they’re trying to do. Just die already.
T1 | August 25, 2010 at 7:29 pm
Where did heidi and spencer come from again? was it laguna beach?
T1 | August 25, 2010 at 7:30 pm
I mean show wise.
Fish offiicially sucks | August 25, 2010 at 9:41 pm
when did he stop being amusing and start crow-baring his lame political opinions down our throats (but disguised as jokes- yay!). I used to come here for a laugh, not your dopey agenda. Show us more tits and shut the fuck up.
PS- the new site architecture sucks ass, sorta like you do.
FrankNfrtr | August 25, 2010 at 9:51 pm
So if I’m reading this correctly, Ms. Montag has no real objection to being filmed naked NOW, after her dramatic surgical makeover. So what’s the problem? Get that girl a contract and let’s make some movies.
I really appreciate how the blogger here somehow manages to work a dig in a FOX news there at the end. Huge fake boobs & political satire is an unusual combination.
captain america | August 26, 2010 at 12:01 am
………..spencer pratt & friends?
Hello | August 26, 2010 at 3:24 am
Is it me or is that the most normal-Heidi her face has looked post-surgery?
horsefaceskank | August 26, 2010 at 4:18 am
LAWWWWWWWWWD ..
still writin’ about these fuckers !!!?????
ya’ll are spencers bitches ..lol
just bend over & let him give it to you up your desperate azz
horsefaceskank | August 26, 2010 at 4:21 am
it’s a shopped to hell digital cover like all mags ..
do you think the celebs are natural in their foto’s ???
my you are dumb ..
they black out half of angelinas head & jaw & this bitch hneeds alot of work ..
they gotta shoot her sittin down or work 3 hors tryin to make the legs appear long & create a neck by erasing the still enormous chin ..
they do it to ALL covers ..
some people look better than others but hollywierd in general is made up of very large headed midgets ..
sorry to blow the fantasy ..
jaseb | August 26, 2010 at 5:41 am
Don´t remove em!!!!
Jimmy | August 26, 2010 at 6:22 am
If you get implants and want to get them taken out to be more like yourself, cool. But if you get 12 plastic surgeries and want to take the implants out to be more like yourself, well now you’re just a real life Barbie with no tits.
Sizzle | August 26, 2010 at 6:37 am
That man-face is hideous. I wouldn’t be able to fuck her with someone else’s dick. The only reason why her and that twat Spencer keep getting air time is because we keep paying attention to the shit they do, all the while claiming we don’t give a shit what they do. Spencer is like Tinkerbell – stop believing in that fairy and he’ll go away.
absinthe | August 26, 2010 at 9:59 pm
Exactly. Well said.
horsefaceskank | August 27, 2010 at 3:44 am
AGREED…HIDEOUS is the perfect adjective ..
Job | August 26, 2010 at 9:15 am
man evertime there is something about “Dr.Ryan” all i can think of is ‘patriot games’ and ‘a clear and present danger’
K | August 26, 2010 at 9:19 am
She should probably also consider a head reduction, that melon is looking GIANT.
Lovemypubichairthick | August 26, 2010 at 10:00 am
What happen the trance the doctor had over her died when he went off the cliff.
horsefaceskank | August 26, 2010 at 10:18 am
superficial ..
the BITCHSLAVE of HOntag & splatt …hahaaa
horsefaceskank | August 26, 2010 at 10:26 am
yes the above comment about the potato head ..
doc’ frankenstein made her head even more enormous with the cheek implants & bad lopsided chin job ..
lousy doc’ ( look at HIM??!!)
well he ain’t gonna be butchering anyone else except in hell …
heidi has very shorty tiny legs & she shouldn’t attract attention to this ..
photoshop is great but one must go out sometime …
her absence of neck is also ‘shopped in when they try to erase the enormous jaw ..
in every shot the prerequisite dark shadow to minimize this how they do with angelinas enormous big bumpy head …
it’s quite unattractive …
well thank gods fer photoshop …
surgery ain’t even worth it or necessary anymore
cellphone | August 26, 2010 at 10:51 am
Is she going to do that all by herself?!
Rhialto | August 26, 2010 at 10:57 am
Is there any Hello Kitty surgery set available?
m | August 26, 2010 at 10:56 am
THANK YOU for bringing up the Fox News thing. Priceless!
Patrick | August 26, 2010 at 10:57 am
Who is the douchebag with a major hard on for anything right-wing? How long have you been hiding in the background to get your chance to write a line or two so you can indulge in your obsession?
Natalie | August 26, 2010 at 1:13 pm
I can’t believe I read that interview. It was seriously the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. She is even stupider and crazier than I had imagined.
Natalie | August 26, 2010 at 1:19 pm
Also, isn’t she like a devout Christian? Isn’t having lesbian sex with Karissa or whatever her name is in a sex tape an abomination of God?
Marcus | August 26, 2010 at 9:14 pm
So is having sex with Spencer so it really doesn’t matter.
phil | August 26, 2010 at 5:31 pm
did anyone notice that it says worst bikini bodies and it shows snooki on the right? lol
Jim | September 21, 2010 at 5:34 pm
she should remove her life