The Collection of Parts Known as Heidi Montag Got Drunk

September 19th, 2011 // 74 Comments

Heidi Montag celebrated her [Insert number of years since her manufacture here.] birthday in Vegas over the weekend where she demonstrated the latest feature in top of the line sex-dollery: Life-Like Drunkeness (Now With More Sloppy Bedwetting). On that note, I love this photo of her and Spencer which really captures a day in the life of their marriage. Mostly because he’s entirely oblivious to her gasping for air thanks to him going with the cheap, knockoff windpipe. “You’re just paying for the name,” he said.

Photos: Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    What an absolutely NOT-HOT mess.

  2. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    Sway
    Commented on this photo:

    Yikes…

  3. lily

    WOOOF. the only word to describe her.

    • mark

      Man she was hot once, remember those fake/ poser pic stories she used to do with spencer, like the baywatch ones, now she looks shit shite,… wtf,… I mean how can some ppl not recognize what they are doing to themselves,… like the tanning bed-leatherskin thingy,… I don’t get it,… so fuckn sad :(

  4. Donald Trump

    Would love to humiliate this bimbo by busting a thick, stringy one all over her face!

  5. wb

    Best looking 50 year old in hollywood!

  6. sobrietyisacrutch

    How she is relevant completely eludes me.

  7. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    “I said, I’m gonna go suck that guy’s dick! Be right back.”

  8. DejaVu

    After seeing this pictures, her plastic surgeon crawled out if his grave and drove himself off a cliff again.

  9. Mae

    I’m not usually one to put down a woman’s weight, but she’s built like a plastic barrel now.

  10. SSHGuru

    Paper bags are free…

  11. Venom

    She really needs to do porn.
    Lindsay is a hooker now, so why not.

  12. Oprahwindfury

    I really have to lol alot at the people who make fun of this gal…lets break it down::

    . no talent
    . lot of plastic surgery
    . fake tits

    …isnt that every single girl on every porn site that 99% of the guys on here beat off to every single day..??..??

    • Mike

      Nah, if I beat off to a girl, it’s not a porno actress. It’s someone like Kelly Brook for example. Not me pal. I don’t find any porno slag scorching hot at all. Not even Tabitha Stevens.

  13. MILF

    Her posing in front of that “VANITY” sign= Palin posing in front of a “STOOPID” sign.

  14. Tootles

    I’m not going to lie, she has a great body, she should have stopped with the implants after her first boob job though. They looked perfect then. The face is another story, a horse is a horse is a horse of course.

  15. cc

    I haven’t heard a single rumor of her fucking anyone lately. Is this an indication that she can’t anymore? If not, she’d better work on suppressing her gag reflex.

  16. Queequeg

    Heidi who?

  17. bing

    How low can she go now?

  18. jumpin_j

    How can we forget her if you keep bringing her up? Sheesh!

  19. Do Freebird

    Probably took 36″ of #10 rebar up her ass to counteract all those pounds of silicon and get this bitch in an upright position.

  20. If you look carefully at picture #6 you will see a scientific anomaly that should be front-page news worldwide: a woman with her asshole in front of her.

  21. Donat

    guess what? i’m finding myself sexually attracted to the place where the side boob meets the arm pit and shoulder. that sexy, bald crease. what do you call that body part? anyway, i don’t find heidi attractive in any other area, but she has a sexy whatever that place is called, and i’d like to make love to it.

  22. Do Freebird

    It won’t be long before she leaves Spencer for the cowbell player for Sly and the Family Stone.

  23. dontkillthemessenger

    Who am I kidding? I’d hit that in a second., even with the bionic jaw and man-made boobs.

  24. Readrick

    That’s s dude.

  25. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    K-Fern
    Commented on this photo:

    “Spencer, look out! Death Eater behind you!!!”

  26. Bonnie Blumper

    A collection of parts indeed; Frankenmontag.

  27. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    Jezebel
    Commented on this photo:

    Donatella Versace is looking a lot better.

  28. S

    Is she fat now or is that just the dress?

  29. anonym

    her face looks awful.

    she is not photogenic at all.

  30. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    Commented on this photo:

    That’ll make the price of gold go down. Hefty, hefty, hefty.

  31. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    lemming
    Commented on this photo:

    At this point her wax figure would look more life-like than her.

  32. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    CD
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oil…oil can”

  33. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    Commented on this photo:

    “Come at me, bro.”

  34. terry

    I would so fuck that hoe!

  35. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    Jester
    Commented on this photo:

    Mouth still open, always. This chick probably never shuts up.

  36. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    Jester
    Commented on this photo:

    But I do love her, when will she do porn dammit.

  37. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Beware, for the creature must feed once every year on the sixteenth day of the ninth month! Watch in horror as it gorges itself upon the flesh of it’s own husband… hmm, partner?… business associate, yes thats it…

  38. Weirdo

    I’d bang the living hell out of her rear end!

  39. gumption

    she looked much better after the first boob job and nose job. Now she looks hideous! Aged herself by 15 years and looks trashy. The wig is repulsive as well. Im sick of all the fake hair. Is there any shame left amongst the people anymore? What, you remove your wig, eyelashes, spanx, make-up, eyebrows and smoosh your big plastic titties on someone and they don’t mind? I am truly perplexed.

  40. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    D-chi
    Commented on this photo:

    I am sure there’s a perfectly rational explanation as to why her chin looks like Gaston’s.

  41. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    Lpppooooll
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks more like a man than ever. Great job on the plastic surgery. Cheers

  42. She was cute before she threw away all that money for the replacement parts. Cute, but stoopid!

  43. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    Commented on this photo:

    Here comes the spew. RUN!!!

  44. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG! Is she turning into BritBrit?

  45. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, Heidi. It is a tumor. It’s also cancerous. The sooner you have it removed, the better your chances of recovery.

  46. Distiller

    She was cute once …

  47. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    lazyass
    Commented on this photo:

    You say you hate this bitch and yet you post 31 (thirty-one) pictures of her… doing absolutely nothing.

  48. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    lmao
    Commented on this photo:

    God, she’s disgusting.

  49. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    barbosa
    Commented on this photo:

    The plastic surgeon did the best he could with the masculine architecture that is her face but unfortunately he didn’t have the strength required to chisel down that jay leno chin.

  50. Heidi Montag Drunk Birthday
    SISS
    Commented on this photo:

    She should fix her man-jaw.

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