Heidi Montag’s Doing Bikini Photos Again

November 8th, 2012 // 91 Comments

Unlike Lady GaGa, former reality star turned most pointless stripper ever Heidi Montag was manufactured from the best polymers every single dime of her MTV money could buy, so she belongs in a bikini which is really her only purpose in life now until she’s eventually recycled into a snow shovel that I’ll purchase in my golden years and have sex with. Sure, my neighbors may shun our love, but that’ll be their loss. That’ll be their loss…

Photos: Splash News


  1. Heidi Montag Bikini
    Natty Ice
    Commented on this photo:

    “Spencer says if I walk around and act like Kim Kardashian, then I will make money again. Is this how she does it?”

  2. Heidi Montag Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Very few people can make a febrile seizure look sexy. She is not one of them.

  3. Daytonadixie

    All jokes aside, is this chick a former porn star or in the sex industry of some kind?

  4. Heidi Montag Bikini
    The Royal Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
    And no one can talk to a horse of course
    That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mister Ed., or Ms. Montag

  5. CeCe

    I think someone is feeling threatened by Courtney Stodden, you guys.

  6. Buddy The Elf

    Let’s take Sarah Jessica Parker’s horseface, add it to Janice Dickinson’s beat upbody, and give it Demi Moore’s delusions of relevance – BAM.

  7. Heidi Montag Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s wrong with her ass? God, she’s ulgy!

  8. Heidi Montag Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen vampires less pale than this.

  9. Marvin

    Why is her mouth wide open like that? Is she waiting for a dick to fly into it?

  10. Heidi Montag Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the right butt implant is sagging a little.

  11. anonym

    hey heidi,

    fake balloon tits are a dime a dozen.

    are you happy with yourself now? Feeling like you’ve achieved your goal in life?

  12. Heidi Montag Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks as though she may fall over at any time, but I think the fake butt is helping to keep her steady.

  13. Heidi Montag Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    does she have money to pay for a trainer?

  14. Heidi Montag Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    That looks natural.

  15. Heidi Montag Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Unbelievable how EVERY photo in this gallery is the most unflattering bikini shot ever taken ever.

  16. Heidi Montag Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Her thighs are chunky… hit the gym fattie

  17. Heidi Montag Bikini
    Lil Nugget
    Commented on this photo:

    does anyone else notice how incredibly awkward she looks in every “pose”

  18. mfb

    anyone guy who wouldn’t bang her is gay…

  19. Heidi Montag Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She is the worst milk toast looking dick sucking cum burping road whore I have ever seen.

  20. Everything about her was ten times cuter and prettier before the surgeries. I generally hate fake breast implants, but I’m even sadder for her face now. She looks so generic and old. Heidi, get it undone!

  21. Heidi Montag Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks better than some victorias secret supermodels.

    Heidi needs to redo her playboy shoot and show more.

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