Heidi Klum is Single… And Topless

Heidi Klum’s relationship with Vito Schnabel was always a strange one because she has four kids, is on the wrong side of 40, and he’s barely 30 years old. It just didn’t seem like a 30-year-old art collector with a famous father (director Julian Schnabel) was ready to take up long-term step daddy duties with Seal’s kids.

According to People, that’s exactly why they broke up.

“Things have been difficult recently, they live on opposite coasts,” the source said at the time. “And it’s the start of a school year and Heidi has to concentrate on the kids.” (People)

So that’s it. It’s over. Heidi his having her midlife Klumissance right now and has been spotted at everything from the Emmys to the Teen Choice Awards, so I’m going to assume she’s feeling the pressure of her lady clock winding down and trying to get it in as much as she can before her vagina explodes. That’s what happens when you get old right? Asking for a friend…