So Heidi Klum is Topless

August 14th, 2011 // 103 Comments

In the past 24 hours, every single celebrity’s either been knocked up, married or given birth, so let’s dive right into the important news first: Heidi Klum wandered around Sardinia topless as hell. As you’ve noticed, we’ve been going light on the naked stuff lately to ensure The Superficial continues to funnel into the American workplace, distracting workers from operating at maximum efficiency so China can just get it over with and annex us, so consider this your monthly ration. Because, really, outside of magazine shoots, how often does Heidi Klum just prance around with her old boobs out for all the world to see? I mean, shit, she even smiled at the paparazzi after spotting them hiding under an overturned canoe, so she wants us to look and probably to distract from her entire pelvis looking like goddamn Sylvester Stallone because apparently Heidi Klum does Kegels until bitches die. “HERR FUHRER DEMANDS DAS TIGHTEN VAGINA!” I like to picture her yelling at Indiana Jones. (He’d just stolen her zeppelin.)

Photos: Flynet


  1. Fletch

    She lost it when she married the Phantom of the Opera. Seriously!

  2. She doesn’t look too bad for a 40 year old mother of 4…but she looks like a train wreck for a “supermodel”.

    If you don’t understand why those are two very different scales, you’re probably just happy to be seeing titties…any titties.

  3. Dan

    I think she looks great – for any age.

    The things I would do to Heidi Klum. The things I would do… *looks wonderingly out the window*.

  4. Didn’t she use to have implants? She went from flat to d cup before she had kids, now she looks completely flat again. Maybe she got them removed? If that’s the case, please put them back in.

  5. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    I like thick women but for 40+ and 4 kids she is hot as hell and she knows it. Bunch of haters…

  6. Heidi Klum Topless
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to eat a cheeseburger and i want some deep grilled steak.
    fuck skinny!

  7. Heidi Klum Topless
    Ringo is Germish
    Commented on this photo:

    Me as a fellow German, who must fapp to her since it is my constitutional obligation is shocked by that boobs … I feel cheated on. What does that tits do at a Victoria Secrets show? Besides that: not bad for a 40+ mom of 4 …

  8. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    Really guys?

    She looks great! Don’t compare here to those 20yr old porn stars you’re all used to or those photoshopped starlets in magazines.

    If your GF/wife looked like Heidi, you’d be more than happy.

  9. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    Heidi looks like she has had liposuction.

  10. kris

    another good way of getting into the american workplace? making more than 6 posts a day. “crap we missed” is sloppy and “important people whatever” is lame. i get to page 2 and half way through its old posts. no posting on weekends. this site sucks now. i doubt people at the superficial care, but you guys have lost a reader.

  11. surgerylass

    That stomach looks like that because it has been liposuctioned.

  12. Nik

    huh, i guess sometimes it’s good that you give us the nsfw option

    i feel much better knowing i didn’t have to see that =)

  13. Heidi Klum Topless
    Audrey Jo
    Commented on this photo:

    Here´s what I learnt from VS underwear: it´s all padded! No wonder the models look extremelly skiny but with perky, tender, yummy boobs… (Plus they all pose making their mouths llok like moist semi-opened vaginas, in all pictures) Thing is: nature does not make that kind of combo. So do not try to find it around, guys, and do not suffer trying to mimic that, ladies.
    As for topless, aging…a few pounds more look and FEEL better in real life, although it does not make it for fashion camera shots.
    I still do not get why Heidi Klum is photoshoped featured naked to advertise a tv show designed mostly for gay men and women.

  14. Heidi Klum Topless
    Audrey Jo
    Commented on this photo:

    The breasts are actually cute. What makes it no so flattering is how skinny these poor models have to be to fit the bill.

  15. ok I’m a german-danish girl – who is hotter you guys? Helena Christensen or H. Klum????

  16. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    flat ass

  17. Glitzyfoofoo

    There is seriously nothing attractive about her anymore. With all that money and free time you would think with as superficial as celebrities are they would take care of the situation before flaunting it and scaring the whole world! Halloween is still months away dammit!

  18. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    This reminds me of the story a friend of mine told me about how he finally drove a Lamborghini Countac. He said it was the most god-awful car he ever drove. Everything was off, and reality trumped appearance. He said it was like dating the girl of your dreams and finding out she was a shallow, empty soulless corpse of a person. Now that I’ve finally seen Heidi’s boobs I understand exactly what he was saying….

  19. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    what a dumb saggy bitch.

  20. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    She is a gorgeous woman. But you would think that a little lift and tuck would be appropriate at this stage in her life if your going to go topless at the beach.

  21. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    What on earth do you people do to the photos you post (which you usually call ‘hot.’? Klum, Roberts, etc. all look like blimps on your pages. I really have to think that you folks have been drinking heavilty or snorting something before you select the ‘hot’ pictures you post. And your last ‘bikini’ shot of the week…good lord! How awful.

  22. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    people commenting that heidi klum looks bad in this picture should be required to include a picture of themselves. especially the guys. that or a picture of a girl they’ve dated (not stalked).

  23. Jennifer

    That is extremely unpleasant.

  24. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    Lets have you all pop put 4 off spring and see how good your body looks. I think she looks pretty freakin hot.

  25. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn Nature, you scary.

  26. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn nature, you scary

  27. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    She did have large breasts to begin with, having children takes a toll on your breasts and the majority of women lose a cup size or two which is unfortunate but true. It’s just a part of life. I think she looks wonderful aside from the obvious lipo on the tummy area.

  28. Heidi Klum Topless
    Eric Albertson
    Commented on this photo:

    She is hot!!!!

  29. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    Heidi is beautiful but you can see the scars from the mini tummi tuck. Who cares about her boobs, obviously she doesnt care what people think and realizes they are flat and saggy.

  30. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    She is still looks HOT but would look even better if she got her nice big BOOBS back.Would still be a pleasure to do her,suck on her nipples and eat her ass.

  31. Heidi Klum Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    She still looks HOT and would look even better if she got her nice big BOOBS back.Would still be great to do her,suck on her nipples and eat her nice ass.

  32. barney

    She is still a very attractive woman,but what happened to her nice big full BOOBS.The small ones she has now are’nt that bad but she really needs to get the bigger ones back that she used to have.

  33. bob

    her breast are really saggy and she has a big ass but the weird thing is i still luv to suck on those nipples

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