In the past 24 hours, every single celebrity’s either been knocked up, married or given birth, so let’s dive right into the important news first: Heidi Klum wandered around Sardinia topless as hell. As you’ve noticed, we’ve been going light on the naked stuff lately to ensure The Superficial continues to funnel into the American workplace, distracting workers from operating at maximum efficiency so China can just get it over with and annex us, so consider this your monthly ration. Because, really, outside of magazine shoots, how often does Heidi Klum just prance around with her old boobs out for all the world to see? I mean, shit, she even smiled at the paparazzi after spotting them hiding under an overturned canoe, so she wants us to look and probably to distract from her entire pelvis looking like goddamn Sylvester Stallone because apparently Heidi Klum does Kegels until bitches die. “HERR FUHRER DEMANDS DAS TIGHTEN VAGINA!” I like to picture her yelling at Indiana Jones. (He’d just stolen her zeppelin.)
Photos: Flynet
nice headlights
pity she needs a meal
What??? She looks fine!
huh her stomach looks like tara reid’s. bleargh! :P
yeah, she does look great now that i’ve stuck knitting needle in my eyes.
oh shit i saw her ass, i take it all back.
How the mighty have sagged.
that made me laugh
Why isn’t that little girl wearing an entire bathing suit?
this pic is making me sad :(
I thought her boobies were going to be tragic, but they actually aren’t bad.
….Not that un-tragic either….Artofwar
Artofwar
thanks for typing your name after every post, otherwise wed never know Artofwars posts were typed by Artofwar.
P.S. what kind of name is Artofwar for a pacifist P.O.S. anyways?
…Cracker
closetgayteapartyforums.com is missing their star poster.
grandma, no!!!
Like, ew.
Boobs look fine, not fantastic but not terrible. Now her stomach, that looks like she has extra bones in it or something. Very strange.
Those are her c-section scars.
Those are her hip bones.
She may have had a tummy tuck as well.
its the baby she ate for lunch.
Her tits and stomach look like a face trying to escape her body…you’re welcome for the nightmares
Her tits and stomach look like a face trying to escape her body…you’re welcome for the nightmares…
pity. I want to see her bottomless.
The real fuhrer would have her husband and her exterminated!!!
WTF, do all majestic German Inflatables eventually crash and burn??
: / there something in those bikini bottoms? or maybe she’s not big on going completely hairless?
The real fuhrer would have her husband and her exterminated!
It wasn’t funny the first time.
ART IS NOTHING! ART ISN’T REAL. ask lady gaga. PS your gay : D
GODDAMN BABIES!
Not bad for her age and all those kids, but not good enough to share with the rest of the world. Mostly just pathetic thinking she has still got it and wants to flaunt it.
fap!
This has utterly ruined topless pics for me…..like I hope I never see Jessica Alba topless anymore I could never take the disappointment.
alot of people must vomit now?
God, even small flat chested boobs sag.
id feel strange wanderin’ around half naked with my a-few-years-old son next to me
Looks like she visited the same Nigerian witch doctor that performed on her husband’s face. That’s a quality torso.
I was wondering the same thing…I guess females aren’t allowed to have tops on regardless of age. lol
OMG, ,… what to do,… spam is so unexpected on here,… also butsecks
The fact that everyone is commenting that she is nasty is almost hilarious. how old is she? she looks healthy, she seems active, she has aged gracefully…i am embarrassed for everyone that claims that this is horrendous. she’s not 18 anymore, and it is an extremely liberating feeling to be topless. did anyone think that perhaps this is for HER and NOT FOR YOU? I just feel bad for all of you, sincerely. I know people are going to respond with “i bet you are ugly” and “why are you on this site” but for one, I feel quite beautiful and I’m happy. Second, I’m on the site because Fish is fucking funny. But the people who read it and think he is speaking in seriousness are just lost. I hope you find some peace. Silicone and judgement don’t do much for you, in the grand scheme.
Wow, I am totally with you. She looks great, she could use a couple of pounds (which I would be happy to donate), but we should stop hating on people who are comfortable in their skin. It is comments like that that are the reason so many people feel badly about themselves. Piss off the bunch of you and when you grow up and get a few years older you will realize just how wise WOW’s words are.
Didn’t she used to have larger breasts?
now I’m in the mood for some pancake ass and flapjack titties, oh! Heidi ho stranger!
I’d rather look at Kelly Rippa. Wow motherhood is such a beautiful thing.
It’s a bad sign when you need binoculars…
I’d have to give that star bikini top a fashion don’t.
ugh. if only they had gotten her 10 years ago. no one wants to see grandma nekkid. except those crazy germans.
Really not bad as I expected. Better than Kate Moss’s goat teats.
The lower torso is pretty gnarly, which is just normal for a middle aged woman who’s popped out multiple kids.
Alright, roll ‘em back up, I’ve seen enough.
Her “story” is that Victoria’s Secret hired her because she had big breasts for the runway. Now we know that it was all PADDED BRA and small boobies.
That’s what I get on august 14? Where’s Lacey? Don’t worry the weather here didn’t cooperate either…
Why are all the other photos great quality, but the NSFW one looks like yeti/loch ness quality?
She looks like she’s given birth to baby seals.
BWAHAHAHA – I read that as “baby seats” and it actually made sense.
gotta love perky nips after all those kids
Im suspecting there was some photoshop work done to those new Project Runway posters, where shes semi-nude and hott. hmm
Wear a one piece swim suit – Please.
40+ y.o nipples are fantastic!
her body is so gross. from the neck down she looks like she’s 76.
It’s been long since we last saw the pink star, welcome back.
Suddenly I have a hankerin’ for a couple pancakes!
“You are watching NatGeo.”
Remember the part in the Dark Crystal where they remove the Chamberlain Skeksis’ robes and he had to go naked? She looks like that.
LOL
I have always thought she has had a weird midsection.