Seal’s ‘Special Camera Room’ Ruined His Marriage

January 24th, 2012 // 35 Comments
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“I sense he’s left the room, mother. Let us make haste and adjust the dials!”

Since word got out over the weekend that Heidi Klum and Seal were calling it quits, there’ve been a ton of rumors as to what went wrong, but my personal favorite has to be Seal’s private camera room that he flips his shit over if anyone goes into. Because that just seems like the type of thing you’d choose over supermodel vagina. Via Hollywood Life:

The source described Seal as having “entitlement” issues and an explosive temper. For example, she said that Seal has a room at home full of vintage cameras, and if anyone goes inside he goes “ballistic”. However, like we reported earlier, their separation doesn’t necessarily mean divorce. The source says the threat alone may be enough to convince Seal to get help with his anger issues.
“I could see Heidi threatening Seal with a divorce because he thought she would NEVER do such a thing. This may push Seal to finally get the help he needs to deal with his temper in a more constructive manner,” revealed the source.

Of course a simple solution would be Heidi Klum teaching the kids to respect his shit but that would lack all the drama and high emotion of a trial separation. I’m embarrassed I even mentioned it.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Dude of Dudes

    I hear Chris Brown runs a great school for anger management.

  2. I always thought Heidi would be the one who’d blow a Seal.

  3. I was kinda hoping the “Special Camera Room” was filled with hidden cameras, a mattress and some leather restraints. What a major disappointment that its just his dumbass vintage camera collection.

  4. JC

    Seal: “WHO TOUCHED MY F-STOP?!?”
    Hedi: Rrowwr. “Is that ze code that means you vant efficient German zex?”
    Seal: “NO, YOU WORTHLESS WHORE, I MEAN SOMEBODY TOUCHED MY VINTAGE LEICA!” (punches hole in dry wall)

  5. Heidi Salami

    one day you in….next day you out

  6. Is it me, or are those pantyhose inappropriate for a 7-year-old? I mean, I’m assuming those are pantyhose. Unless Seal really was her father all along, and she inherited his legs.

    • Richard McBeef

      agreed, i like my 7 year olds with bare legs too, prof.

    • Trek Girl

      She’s wearing tights. What on earth is inappropriate about tights?

    • Yeah, that’s a dance outfit. My little girl wears similar stuff to her dance classes, and is quite proud of them. She’d wear them all day if we let her. Difference is, she pulls on a pair of thick sweats before running out to the car after class, but we live in Alaska and it’s currently 6 degrees outside.

    • blah

      Even little girls who aren’t in dance wear tights? This is a weird thing to sexualize.

  7. cr

    “Supermodel vagina” matters only to “superdick idiots.” Your life must be pathetic.

  8. whip

    “camera” is just another word for “DIVORCE”, folks.

  9. Isabel

    A room that nobody is allowed in? How very…Bluebeard.

    Still hope they’ll make it work somehow.

  10. Alex

    In a room down the hall
    He stocks up on vintage cameras
    Somehow the children found out
    A man decides afterward
    To beat that ass for
    unlocking the door
    While those around him call SCAN and leave

  11. jim x

    Strangely, I kind of understand Seal’s thing with the camera room. It’s like an old dad thing with their garage or basement. It’s one place that’s absolutely theirs where they get to have some territory that’s all their own.

    That said, only a grown-up manchild pitches a hissy fit about it, as opposed to saying “Look, it really bugs me when someone goes in there. How about you not do that. Instead, as your reward, I will now sex you.”

    • JustSayin'

      I kinda like both Heidi & Seal, but something tells me that an awful lot of entitlement and needless drama is going own in that household. Anyway, true no adult should get pissy over someone entering a room, BUT if you have to repeatedly tell the same people (probably the kids) not to enter just one area where vintage, expensive, and easily breakable items are located you might start to feel disrespected and ignored by the family. Then the frustration eventually becomes rage.

      • You know, they do have a new-fangled device that helps people secure a room against unwanted entry. It’s fairly new, only about 4000 or so years old, it’s called a lock.

  12. j/k

    Seal, a simple locking doorknob will save your marriage.

  13. Heidi Klum Seal Leni Lou
    Commented on this photo:

    It may be me but that kid looks nothing like Seal.

  14. The Royal Penis

    Very nice comment at the end of your write up Fish.

    Some women love the drama, others use the kids as weapons when they feel they aren’t properly respected.

    If he does have anger management issues she could resolve it by simply letting him in the back door now and then when he’s upset.

    Angry anal usually has a calming effect if done properly.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      “Angry anal usually has a calming effect if done properly.”

      Isn’t that a t-shirt from The Onion?

    • pfk

      Yeah, but instead she’s dumping him. I guess he should have just bought a lock. Maybe he loves the drama, too? Btw, I wish whenever royal penises write blanket statements like “Some women… use the kids as weapons when they aren’t properly respected”, they would give examples. I could give you plenty of examples of men using weapons ON the kids. You know, when they don’t feel properly respected and all.

      • Dan

        Eh, it goes both ways. For every bitchy cunt there is an equally bastard dick.

        It is the way of the world.

  15. crazypants

    These stories are all one-sided and I take these with a huge grain of salt. That said although I doubt that Seal was getting homicidal over his camera room – I kind of understand if he he gets annoyed. Seal and Heidi probably live in a 5000sf 6 bedroom palace with a library a pool and god knows what else. If one of the adults decides to call one of their rooms for their exclusive use and proceed to fill it with valuables, then that adult gets to lose their shit if people keep barging in there. Play somewhere else, off-limits means off-limits.

    • Dan

      +1 on this… You cannot have a private area in your giant home for your cameras that are each probably worth more than an average person’s salary?

      Why do women have to be such bitches when breaking up? It is like every resentment they had for the entire relationship has to get told to everyone the know.

      Guys usually just say something like “bitch is crazy!” That is all we need to know.

  16. Hulk Smash

    This is what happens when you let them leave the kitchen.

  17. Carlos T. Jackal

    Seal had, what, ONE “hit” album? That “Kiss From A Dove” thing?
    Meanwhile Heidi’s career is still going strong. My guess is that she’s bringing in most of that household’s money. Seal needs to shut the f/stop up, but on his maid uniform, and get cleaning.

  18. Randy from American Idol

    Dawg, he’s just an angry black man
    And a little pitchy

  19. I hope this whole episode doesn’t scar Seal for life.

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