Heidi Klum Quit Victoria’s Secret

Whenever I think Victoria’s Secret Angels should have an age limit of 25, as is my wont, I remember Heidi Klum is still out there and then start to wonder why every woman can’t be as hot as her. (Seriously, would it kill you?) However, all of that’s a moot point as Heidi just announced she’s retiring from an institution so sacred and holy, I consistently hid its literature under my mattress from 1992 to 1996. *bows head in reverence* Page Six reports:

“All good things have to come to an end. I will always love Victoria’s Secret. It has been an absolutely amazing time.”
Mom-of-four Klum was dubbed “The Body” by Page Six after walking in her first VS show and then became the “Head Angel,” hosting since 2002 and stealing the show last year by stepping out in lingerie just five weeks after giving birth.

Right now the short list of Head Angels to replace Heidi consists of Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Candice Swanepoel, Chanel Iman and Erin Heatherton. Personally, I’d like to see a bold choice along the lines of – for argument’s sake – Blake Lively. Some might say that speaks to an unhealthy obsession suggesting a need for psychiatric intervention, but I like to believe it speaks to a deep truth society will never admit to itself: No one cares how good actresses are. We just want to see some gams. Go ahead, burn me at the stake for bucking the apple cart. In 20 years they’ll be citing me in college courses. Ten if Blake debuts a new Perfect Bra. (Alec Baldwin, ready the chloroform!)

Photos: Splash News

The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, Oct. 4.