Heidi Klum Quit Victoria’s Secret

September 30th, 2010 // 44 Comments

Whenever I think Victoria’s Secret Angels should have an age limit of 25, as is my wont, I remember Heidi Klum is still out there and then start to wonder why every woman can’t be as hot as her. (Seriously, would it kill you?) However, all of that’s a moot point as Heidi just announced she’s retiring from an institution so sacred and holy, I consistently hid its literature under my mattress from 1992 to 1996. *bows head in reverence* Page Six reports:

“All good things have to come to an end. I will always love Victoria’s Secret. It has been an absolutely amazing time.”
Mom-of-four Klum was dubbed “The Body” by Page Six after walking in her first VS show and then became the “Head Angel,” hosting since 2002 and stealing the show last year by stepping out in lingerie just five weeks after giving birth.

Right now the short list of Head Angels to replace Heidi consists of Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Candice Swanepoel, Chanel Iman and Erin Heatherton. Personally, I’d like to see a bold choice along the lines of – for argument’s sake – Blake Lively. Some might say that speaks to an unhealthy obsession suggesting a need for psychiatric intervention, but I like to believe it speaks to a deep truth society will never admit to itself: No one cares how good actresses are. We just want to see some gams. Go ahead, burn me at the stake for bucking the apple cart. In 20 years they’ll be citing me in college courses. Ten if Blake debuts a new Perfect Bra. (Alec Baldwin, ready the chloroform!)

Photos: Splash News

The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, Oct. 4.


  1. Taz

    Because she is rich and does not need the money!

    • “Heidi Klum is still out there and then start to wonder why every woman can’t be as hot as her.”

      And the Fish writer officially comes SCREAMING out of the closet.

  2. GravyLeg

    She needs to write a book on how women can keep that body after dropping so many kids… Then that book needs to be a required gift at EVERY bridal shower…

    • yeah, all it takes is a personal trainer, dietician, and shitloads of airbrushing.

      • Paloma

        Exactly! We could all look like that too if we had a butt load of $$.

      • Jane

        Yeah, well it’s true that all of that makes it a lot easier. Mostly it’s the fact that it’s their fucking job to work out 3 hours a day, so they have the time to get it in. But it still requires compliance and discipline… I mean, look at Britney Spears.

  3. alex

    There should be an age limit for super models. And Janice Dickinson should be punched in the head.

  4. Never found her particularly pretty or sexy. And yeah after pumpin out four units she’s no spring chicken. Time to say auf wiedersehen and let candice be bottom bitch. Shes fuckin flawless.

  5. Good. She’s too fat to fit on magazine covers now, anyway.

  6. I tired of this tall toothy German a long time ago. Bring in the new blood.

  7. ham

    jesus, fish, you are such an asshole. i think bloggers should have an age, weight, and height limit, too.

    • bloggers don’t make a living out of showing us how good they look nearly naked.

      I’ll never understand people who defend models who are no longer attractive, when that’s the whole reason they got into that line of work in the first place.

      • ham

        women don’t need to curl up and die when they hit 26 years old…i mean, i’m attracted to wrinkle-free men who are 6 feet tall, but why be rude about stuff that someone can’t control? obviously victoria’s secret wouldn’t have kept employing her if they thought that 25 was too old–i mean, most household name vs models ARE over 25 (miranda kerr, lima, miller, ambrosio, etc).

  8. Heidi Klum at Roberto Cavalli 40th Anniversary
    Commented on this photo:

    She better be quitting, so that she can do something else that leaves her nearly naked for me to look at, or I will be pissed !

  9. Heidi Klum at Roberto Cavalli 40th Anniversary
    Commented on this photo:

    What a glorious specimen! (Though I think Germans and arm tattoos don’t mix.)

  10. Richard McBeef

    hot bitch is hot even if old bitch is old.

    can’t believe nobody has said anything about fossil fuel power generation yet.

  11. Robert Acquafresca

    atleast she does not have to worry about any of her kids being more attractive then her, atleast not the last three anyway.

  12. Km

    No one else thinks she’s weird looking? Scarecrow nose and wonk eyes- and big German hips

  13. Heidi Klum at Roberto Cavalli 40th Anniversary
    Commented on this photo:

    she is HOTTTTTT!! Women younger than her or half her age dont look as hot where I live! Its all bout lifestyle and genetics you can be 25 and look ugly as shit, or be 45 and be hot as hell…luck of the draw.

  14. Kill em with Roughness

    Is this legal? With all the turmoil around the world, how do you quit being Head Angel, without first having a successor?

  15. HAHA

    I don’t know about supermodels but let’s get real, most women are at their PEAK 25-35!

  16. M

    Um, ok? How about some real news…

  17. Obvious

    The reality is VS informed grandma they weren’t renewing her contract. VS allowed Heidi to release a statement that she was leaving.

    • Exactly. Like Ellen “quit” American Idol.

      They’re tired of coming up with new ways to cover her midsection on those Christmas specials.

  18. Citylove

    You forget Miranda Kerr !!!!!!!! 25 is a little young ! Maybe 30 ! pfff !

  19. Gando

    Understand that i’m at the moment not there where you think i could be ..

  20. captain america

    ………………nowhere, folks!!

  21. Righty Whitey

    You can see all the scars on her face from rubbing up against all those sickle cells.

  22. Jane Goodall

    She’s gonna burn in hell for beastiality anyways, so who cares.

  23. The Real TAB

    Heidi has “Project Runway” money now..she took VS for as long as she could..

  24. The Real TAB

    BTW, where are her boobs? I thought she had implants! She looks as flat as an 11 year-old boy in these pics.

  25. She doesnt NEED the money. She has had a lucrative modelling and advertizing campaign career plus she’s married to SEAL so when they divorce she will get half, and trust me when I say that’s a substantial amount. BTW, SEAL marrying Klum gave ugly men everywhere hope that if he could do it, they could too. Problem is, SEAL is a talented, rich, charismatic singer; the rest are just ugly men.

  26. Amy

    Wow, what a douche you are, Fish. I mean, even your precious Blake Lively will be 25 in less than 2 years. I guess since my 26th b-day just happened I should just stop working out, and get fat since I’m not worth anything.

  27. janna

    Heidi is a very beautiful woman. she is gorgeous. she has other things to do in her life.she has to move on. and by the way, who said, that woman can’t be beautiful after 30 or even 40 or 50 ? then what is the point ? should we all die after 30? NONSENSE.

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