Heidi Klum Got Attacked By Topless Protesters

Because Germany is a silly place, Heidi Klum was attacked by two topless protesters while filming Germany’s Next Top Model. As for what they’re protesting, who the hell knows? They wrote “Heidi Horror Picture Show” and “Sadistic Show” on their torsos in English, so either they’re demanding Heidi’s breasts stop being enslaved by Big Textile (Rock on, Sister Soldjas!) or they’re protesting her flagrant woman-on-robot love which she’s flaunted in in the past. Because since time began, Germany has only tolerated one man-on-machine romance and one man-on-machine romance only:

(Do I hat tip Norm Macdonald here, or are we pretending he’s dead because of those Safe Auto commercials?)

Adding… Haha! Heidi punched one in the tit.

Photos: Getty