Heidi Klum Got Attacked By Topless Protesters

May 31st, 2013 // 35 Comments

Because Germany is a silly place, Heidi Klum was attacked by two topless protesters while filming Germany’s Next Top Model. As for what they’re protesting, who the hell knows? They wrote “Heidi Horror Picture Show” and “Sadistic Show” on their torsos in English, so either they’re demanding Heidi’s breasts stop being enslaved by Big Textile (Rock on, Sister Soldjas!) or they’re protesting her flagrant woman-on-robot love which she’s flaunted in in the past. Because since time began, Germany has only tolerated one man-on-machine romance and one man-on-machine romance only:

(Do I hat tip Norm Macdonald here, or are we pretending he’s dead because of those Safe Auto commercials?)

Adding… Haha! Heidi punched one in the tit.

Photos: Getty


  1. FattyFatty2X4

    Why is it always the ladies with no tits doing this?
    Seriously, why?

  2. Nunya

    You spelled, “Heidi Klum Goes Topless” wrong. And you posted the wrong pictures.

  3. Keith

    Would bang every woman on the stage, except chick with glasses.

  4. Heidi Klum Topless Protesters
    Commented on this photo:

    Her zipper is down.

  5. Heidi Klum Topless Protesters
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I assume they’re protesting the use of fur in the fashion industry?
    When I see this sort of thing I can’t help but think that the producers let those protesters slide in knowing that they would create a loud, provocative scene which would garner mad publicity for the show without actually exposing anyone to actual danger.

    • JC

      It’s go to be doubly tempting for the producers when the protestors seem to have no coherent or clearly communicated message. They still get the media noise, without any icky feelings about things.

    • Ripley's Believe It Or Not

      I’d go one step further and say the producers put them up to it.

  6. Don't Hassle The Hoff

    Knightrider was epic!

  7. Those security guys are LOVING this protest. Loving it.

  8. Okay, so if I start clubbing baby seals I’ll get attacked by topless female protesters? Where’s the disincentive?

  9. Heidi Klum Topless Protesters
    Commented on this photo:

    In every picture there is John Lithgow!

  10. How come I only ever get attacked by bottomless men?

  11. Random topless women, I thank you for the showing of tits. You are the fuel that keeps the internet (and my spank bank) running.

  12. Jake

    Women opposing soda bans never seem to get this type of press.

  13. TheMoreYouKnow

    The women were members of Femen, a feminist group that stages frequent topless actions around the world to draw attention to the way women are objectified or made to feel like their bodies are not their own. They are heavily active in the middle east, supporting women who face death threats by exposing their bodies in protest of their oppressive religious and government leaders.


  14. TheMoreYouKnow

    Another one of Femen’s recent actions in the Notre Dame cathedral: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/may/22/femen-mock-suicide-notre-dame

  15. I don’t know what they’re protesting, but whatever it is showing up naked is a pretty poor way to get me to stop doing it. You might as well say “stop scratching your balls in public or I’ll throw $20 bills at you”. probably gonna keep scratching.

  16. Heidi Klum Topless Protesters
    Commented on this photo:

    uncensored tit.

  17. Piper

    I bet when she realizes her zipper is down she’s going to feel super exposed.

  18. anonymous

    I think protesting topless just defeats the purpose of protesting. All everyone sees are tits.

  19. crb

    Those 2 protesters look like they’re enjoying the bouncers more than the protest.

    Also, model girl in back terrified by other women so easily; lolz.

  20. Should’ve used dildos.

  21. I am impressed at how the fellow standing to Heidi’s immediate left instantaneously, with no hesitation, and without regard for his own safety, jumps into action while screaming his blood-curdling war-cry, “Huh? Wha…???”

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