Welcome To The Exact Moment Heidi Klum Knew She Had To Kill Herself

February 27th, 2012 // 115 Comments

“Ohmygod, it’s Heidi Klum. We have so much in common!”
Scheisse. It’s true.”

Rest in Peace, Sexy Nazi Fucksday Device.

Adding… Anyone else look at these Heidi Klum pics and contemplate melting their own face to look more attractive to her? I can’t be the only one.

Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN


  1. Heidi Klum Kourtney Kardashian Kim Kardashian Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    And dat eez how u get rid of ze black hoozband…….

  2. Black Microphone Gobbling Convention.

  3. JC

    “Ha, ha! Nein, you vill not look like this when you are 38, but it vill not matter, because no one vill care about you or your–how you say?–Wookie sister anymore.”

  4. forrest

    unfortunately these two black beauties saved her ass again…..

  5. Son of a Dude

    You’re gonna need a bigger dick to go with that melted face.

  6. I’m actually kind of impressed so far by the mild responses from the insecure white male peanut gallery.

    • Any Guy

      why would a white male like myself be ‘insecure’ about some fuckin’ tramps who are only famous for being complete whores? please do regale us with your witty response.

    • commander bloop

      right on, “Any Guy”

      fuck off, ‘socialcomment’ – you feeble-minded boor

    • Fred Garvin

      Insert radiator hose joke *here

    • Marion DingleBarry

      Funny comment considering it’s coming from someone who’s male population are responsible for 65 percent of their 13 year old girls to be raped by an immediate male family member.

      Yeah…I said it!

      • … This is an outrage !!!—-White men do this???
        Yes, come to think of it, I have heard of such deviance. (Shame shame) on these daughter impregnating naughty white penises of the world.

      • Los Beaver

        bullshit. everybody knows Blacks commit 9 times [900%] more rapes than Whites

      • …Dear, Los Beaver. Assuming that you are a white man, you may have just confirmed that white men are nine times [900%] more imbecilic than black men.

        Good day… Artofwar

    • Los Beaver

      “white men are nine times [900%] more imbecilic than black men.” Bitch please.
      Maybe in a parallel universe or alternative reality or Australia.

    • sherlock

      +1000 socialcomment. Funny, no one points to a bunch of girls and says White Microphone Gobblers. As if seeing other races is a deviation from human behavior. Good to see stupid still alive and well on this site.

  7. Heidi Klum Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    How bout no
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my Lord if only I could afford these two whores, what a time I would have feeling like shit every God damn minute of my miserable existence. Oh well.

  8. Heidi Klum Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, there’s half my fantasy right there.

  9. west

    White people were hacked to death so these two arrogant cunts can get tinkled on and play celebrity you cock obsessed shit pile

  10. Abdul Muhammed

    The Kardashian sisters, spawn of the lawyer that got OJ Simpson free after he chopped of his wife’s head. They are famous because their daddy freed a murderer.

    • … Contrary to what you and so many other misinformed troglodytes speak, is a major misconception of sort.

      The father Kardashian of which these trollops spawned forth, was never a principle attorney in the O.J. Simpson trial. As a matter of fact he was subsequently considered a mere consult.

      If you wish to spike the skulls of the many— you must first make sure that the many skulls you spike are those belonging to the skulls whom indeed should be spiked.

      Good day… Artofwar

      • Mike Walker

        Their daddy got rid of OJ’s club bag of bloody clothes so he actually played a significant role in getting OJ freed.

    • Abdul Muhammed

      Eat a bag of dicks Courthey Kardashian Artofwar.

  11. El Jefe

    Kim was probably asking Heidi if she was truly done with Seal now so she could date him.

  12. Heidi Klum Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    If ever got my hand where Heidi Klum’s is it would take a team of security guards to get it off again.

  13. Heidi Klum Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture wins the internet.


    Hal Hitler

  15. Dr. Jones

    not sure if melting face is rip on her german heritage through Raiders reference or rip on Seal’s face.

  16. Heidi Klum Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Larry Aldol
    Commented on this photo:

    A German and an Israeli together in a loving embrace. There’s a joke there I don’t know what it is.

  17. BlackManUSAonTwitter

    “Heidi, is it true what they say about black guys? Hahahaha I couldn’t resist!!!!”

    “hahahaha, das funny”

    “Is Seal a “footer” ? “

  18. Frank Burns

    “Und now that Herr Seal has left, I have no one to put a wienerschnitzel in mein strudel!”

  19. Heidi Klum Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    somewhere in hell hitler just jizzed. in. his pants.

  20. Heidi Klum Kim Kardashian Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Heidi Klum reassuring Kim Kardashian that yes, sprinkle films are still popular in Germany.

  21. Heidi Klum Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    God is Black
    Commented on this photo:

    Bar is bonner material but look at Klum’s facial expression. There’s a very, very kinky wink going on, she knows how to please a man even a massive Black man? Ja ! J0a! Ya! Bar looks like she’s licking milk off her lip(Dicaprio cum)

  22. Kyle MacLachlan Heidi Klum Desiree Gruber Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    God is Black
    Commented on this photo:

    Krauts, always using force to get their way!

  23. Heidi Klum Kim Kardashian Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    God is Black
    Commented on this photo:

    Heidi Nein! Thinks of the STDs!

  24. Dido

    I thought that the gold trim on the back was underwear in the first photo. I was like, “Wow Hedi is hot but has terrible taste in lingerie, especially given her career.”

  25. Heidi Klum Kourtney Kardashian Kim Kardashian Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim Kardashian is waiting for a dick in her mouth

  26. Steelerchick

    Is that the ugly Bachelor in the background???

  27. Heidi Klum Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish Heidi tried to shove her middle finger through the dress, and then security tackled her.

  28. Heidi Klum Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    Video of these two making out would make every computer connected to the Internet explode.

  29. lolwut

    Germany > Armenia

  30. Heidi Klum Kourtney Kardashian Kim Kardashian Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait…is that how the back of her dress is intended to look? I didn’t even notice KK–I thought she was supposed to kill herself for having a granny panty wedgie

  31. El Jefe

    Somehow in my head I am picturing her saying in her German accent,

    “You are a short and fat little piggy. You are disgusting and your ass looks like two Christmas hams. Look at me, I have had 4 children and you have had none and you still look like shit compared to me. Get out of my sight you cow”.

  32. Heidi Klum Kourtney Kardashian Kim Kardashian Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim has gotten fatter. She looks like she weighs 145 pounds with measurements 34-28-42. I’m the same height as Kim and weigh 108 pounds with measurements 34-26-34. Kim says she is a size 4, but it logically does not make sense that she can fit into size 4 pants with size 42 hips. She might be able to fit into a size 4 stretch dress that has extra material on the hips, but this would be a result of vanity sizing that cater to egos and the clothes are expensive. I suspect Kris got tired of Kim’s self absorbed personality and told her the truth about her being fat and not being the crispiest chip in the bag. Kim was desperate and married the first man that would marry her. She obviously is not into love making either because she chose to go out of town a lot while being newly married. Most newly married couples that have only been together for six months would be having a lot of sex. Kim seems like a cold boring self absorbed no talent famous person. Kris probably got tired of her saying I’m not fat, I’m slim with curves. Slim with curves is an oxymoron. Kris also probably got tired of watching her eat bad fattening food all the time and watching her get fatter. Heidi and Kourtney look lovely. Kim looks like she is wearing an industrial girdle to keep her stomach flab tucked in, shrink her size 42 hips to size 41, and to lift and perk up her huge behind. I would be very depressed if I allowed myself to get as fat as Kim and would get on a healthy diet and exercise plan ASAP. I think it’s annoying that Kim denies she is fat. Just admit you are fat and you wear body shapers and airbrush your photos to improve your fat body.

    • Cock Dr

      “crispiest chip in the bag”
      That’s a good one…will have to use that in future.
      So I think what you’re saying is that Kim is a big ole dumb moo cow?

      • kathy


        ps, i love a world in which kim is a cow. completely skews the curve for the rest of us fatties. fock.

  33. Heidi Klum Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Heidi, you shouldn’t wear granny panties with that dress!

  34. rican

    “Heidi, I see you’re wearing my panties, and they are too big on you.”

  35. Heidi Klum Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    All flirt for the cameras and no action. Meh

  36. Juano

    Heidi Klum needs to give up dressing like she’s 20. She has a great figure, that’s for sure, but at some point, you begin to look stupid dressing like a teenie bopper.

  37. Grey

    I bet Kim can hardly wait to take off her body shaper that is holding in her stomach flab, wide hips, and lifting and shaping her big fat butt. Kim says she is a size 4 but let’s get serious folks: her 42 inch hips will not fit into size 4 pants. Kim says she is not fat, but slim and curvy. Slim and curvy is an oxymoron. Kourtney and Hedi look lovely.

  38. Heidi Klum Kourtney Kardashian Kim Kardashian Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    George P Burdel
    Commented on this photo:

    Heidi, if you don’t mind, could have Seal’s phone number.



  40. CK

    it’s as if Kim can still sense the black dick.. like an echo.

  41. Heidi Klum Kim Kardashian Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    ugh Heidi please now you have to bleach yourself. to many diseases with that skank. why the heck were the two hos there anyway. Kartrashian skank

  42. Heidi Klum Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    stupid dress, stupid model.

  43. pretty vacant

    kim’s favorite color- pee yellow.

  44. KK-Hater

    What? They all left their Ebony sabers at home? Not a one of them is polishing a (for Heidi to understand) Schwartz Rod in these pictures, what the fuck gives? These photos must have been Photo-Shoped!!

    Es gibt ja nicht!!

  45. Sice fish insists on pushing this pee-whore upon us...


    I am 31 years old, but act like a vain and self-obsessed 13-year old. My dream was always to become a princess. Instead I became an anal porn star, but I still think I am a princess. My body is full of plastic surgery. My boobs, azz, lips, teeth, cheeks, nose, hair, facelift etc., were are all bought from a plastic surgeon. I use to idolized Paris Hilton and I would hang on her like a koala bear all the time just to get my picture taken by the paparazzi. I was very jealous of Paris, so I put out a SEX TAPE just because she did. Until 2007 I use to do cocaine with her. I know there are pictures as proof, but I will deny it forever.

    My pimp mother, Kris Jenner (who in some ways is a bigger whore than me), fcuked the pool boy while my father, Robert Kardashian, was at work. Dad was an ambulance chaser, and helped keep OJ Simpson out of jail after he killed Ron Goldman and his ex-wife Nicole by hiding much of the blood evidence from the police. Anyway, the result was my pathetic half gorilla sister Khloe, who is a whore just like me. Whenever my mouth is moving I am lying, as I am INCAPABLE of telling the truth about anything. I pretend that if I lie about things people will eventually believe it. The way I walk, talk, and laugh is fake; and if you look into my eyes you can even see that my soul is fake. I have no personality at all!

    Although I pretended to be upset by the sex tape, I was the one that sent it to Steve Hirsch at Vivid Entertainment. They paid me $5 million to expose my nasty self. RayJ had nothing to do with the leaked sex tape. I tricked him into making a porno with me for distribution. My former publicist, Jonathan Jaxson, knows exactly what happened. I screwed him over and refused to pay him after our contract was up. Money and fame is all I live for. I am just waiting for him (and many, many more) to come out and reveal how I really am. I exploit my FAKE body all of the time because I lack elegance, class, dignity, self-respect, intelligence, and morals. I really am a very dirty woman, both inside and out.

    My ex husband Damon Thomas, whom I married at the age of 19 in Las Vegas, publicly called me: untalented, a trashy whore, desperate, a plastic surgery addict, a backstabber, and a cheater. I have no real friends because I have misused and stepped on everybody that has come my way for fame. If you see me in public it’s either because someone is paying me to be there, or I know the paps will be there to take my picture. I am currently using social medias to snake my way in to other celebrity’s lives for friendship and publicity. I show up like a diva to all kind of award shows that I have NO business at all attending. The only award show I should attend is the AVN. I call the paparazzi myself. I learned that trick from Paris Hilton, but unlike Paris I’m too cheap to buy them lunch like she does.

    I have NO talent what so ever. I was thrown off Dancing with the Stars on the second week. I made a work out video that clearly shows I’m in very bad shape. I did a test shoot for Playboy, but after seeing the proofs they refuse to acknowledge me. I got a Razzie for my sad performance in the parody Disaster Movie. I should have gotten one for my sextape as well. My song JAM, I have no words for. It is the most annoying and pitiful song in history. I sing like a tone deaf four year old with a nasal monotone voice; very unfortunate. Recently I made a video to go with the song. In it I shove my HUGE azz into the camera like a baboon in heat waiting to get mounted.

    Anybody who don’t like me for the rotten and lying whore that I am I call haters or jealous. We, the Kardashian’s, call each other dolls. And I alone have tainted the Pussycat Dolls by heisting their concept. I pretend that I care about others, but I could not care less. If I’m at a charity event you can bet I’m either getting paid to be there, or I’m there because I called the paps and want to get my picture taken. If you read the fine print you’ll see I keep 90% of the proceeds from my charity auction. The only person I really care about is myself. I tried to fcuk over children by selling them an insane debit Master Card with predatory fees. Unfortunately it was taken off the market after one week under the threat of legal action in several States. Thankfully I found a new way to rip off the kids, with glam silly bandz. Over weight children should skip normal diet & exercise and do shady diet pills or lipo-suction like me.

    I stole $120k from Sonja Norwood’s (Ray J and Brandy’s mother) credit card. After being busted I paid her back with the money I got from the sex tape I made with her son. That’s the circle life Mrs. Norwood. The clothes at Dash are pure knock offs from top brands and designers. Neither my sisters nor I know how to sew on a button or sketch anything, but we call ourselves fashion designers. Much of our clothing line is made by underage Chinese children. I pay them a dollar a day to work an 18-hour shift in one of my sweatshops. The logo on my perfumes is a complete rip-off from Korcula creator Lindley Bertin.

    For World AIDS Day I went off social medias until my fans had raised $1M. I was confident that within 12 hours I would be back. Seven days later I had to be bailed out by a billionaire who wanted to spare me any further shame. This is how much my «fans» value and missed me.

    I have never been single because I am too scared to spend time with myself. I am looking very much forward to the day my grand children sit on my lap and ask me if I am an anal porn star because that’s what everybody in kindergarten will say. I also love to flaunt my gigantic fake hippo azz. It’s my calling card for any rich Black man that wants to ram my azz hard and move on! Evan Ross, Marquis Houston, Scott Storch, Fabolous, The Game, Nick Cannon, Nick Lachey, Tyson Beckford, William ‘Ray J’ Norwood, Reggie Bush, Christiano, Chengo (The Bodyguard is one of my favorite movies ever) Miles Austin, Bow Wow, Gabriel Aubry (only because everybody said I was only into black guys) Kanye West, and my husband of 72 days Kris Humpries; are just a FEW of the men that have ALL fcuked me, pissed in my mouth, AND dumped me. They know that I am trash, and that I will bring their reputations down into the gutter with mine. I will fcuk anyone for publicity. I have had many STDs, but the only one I have now is herpes (got that from Paris too). I am pathetic, plastic, and terribly insecure.

    I am a national and international joke, and gave out my own ANAL/PISS SEX TAPE to get famous. I am a human toilet. I am clearly a very sick human being and I’m 100% shameless. I am the filthiest famewhore in the whole wide world!

    I am Kim Kardashian… Superstar

  46. Mama Pinkus

    I love this – it’s the brutal, honest truth – keep it coming! :)

  47. Kyle MacLachlan Heidi Klum Desiree Gruber Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, no, no, I won’t kiss anyone who was in Showgir—ugh.”

  48. Heidi Klum Kim Kardashian Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “You know, you can make more money with scheisse movies.”

  49. Heidi Klum Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    AIDS found Elton John? When did this happen? And why is the photowall talking like Yoda?

  50. Kyle MacLachlan Heidi Klum Desiree Gruber Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s on Desperate Housewives with Marcia Cross now. I think that gives him a little of dignity back.

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