Welcome to the words below the breasts. It’s a little lonely down here, so I’ll pretend like some of you stuck around to find out why there’s a change in format today. Last night, Fish and I live-tweeted the Oscars, resulting in me not getting my usual headstart on an event-laden weekend along with a bee’s nest of crazy that’s not even worth mentioning. However, my Oscar weekend coverage did yield an event that I felt grasped the essence of what a Crap post normally includes. From the awkward, forced interactions with Steven Tyler or Chris Brown, to this side shot of Kim Kardashian that she would have you believe is all baby bump. This event really did have it all. Salvador Sanchez was there, as well as this magical creature that I’m almost positive is a unicorn and there was even a douchey smirk-down between Topher Grace and Ian Somerhalder.
Random boob, you ask? Ahaha, my children! Would I even bother otherwise? Your Crap post awaits below,
- Photo Boy
Photo: Getty, Splash News, WENN
If they keep rubbing their crotches together, they are going to start a bush fire.
I thought the Oscars = talent. What are these two talentless twats doing in the middle of a talent show??
Wow, so classy. Mutton, lamb, etc.
What is the deal with Kourtney Kardashian? She never tries to look attractive. Like she always wants to be considered the ugly step-sister…that is the ugliest dress in the Northern Hemisphere.
AFTERTHOUGHT: Could it be she was molested once upon a time? If so, how sad…
I went to the doctor yesterday, suffering from premature ejaculation.
Doctor said, “This must be very stressful for your wife.”
I said, “To be honest, it’s getting on her tits.”
Hanging low
PLEASE ULTIMATESURRENDER.COM? Ppl would pay……..
Damn her face looks so old and haggard and that hair is horrible, but from the neck down – not baaaaad.
Subtle. You might not be able to tell, but this is a middle aged woman on the prowl for her next wealthy husband. You have to be trained to notice the signs.
“Vell, ze idea came from ‘Awestan Pozvers’. Zings didn’t go eggzactly ehs planned.”
“The dame was an East German spy. Went by the name of Cookiecups Pukeface. Things were about to get in-ter-es-tink…”
This is my 1995 fantasy come to fruition.
Miley looks a little intimidated, she’s usually the one who is considered ‘wild’, but I think she realizes that she is with a veteran freak.
Fugly She over the Hill rolling down!