Heidi Klum’s Cleavage Is The Crap We Missed

February 25th, 2013 // 75 Comments

Welcome to the words below the breasts. It’s a little lonely down here, so I’ll pretend like some of you stuck around to find out why there’s a change in format today. Last night, Fish and I live-tweeted the Oscars, resulting in me not getting my usual headstart on an event-laden weekend along with a bee’s nest of crazy that’s not even worth mentioning. However, my Oscar weekend coverage did yield an event that I felt grasped the essence of what a Crap post normally includes. From the awkward, forced interactions with Steven Tyler or Chris Brown, to this side shot of Kim Kardashian that she would have you believe is all baby bump. This event really did have it all. Salvador Sanchez was there, as well as this magical creature that I’m almost positive is a unicorn and there was even a douchey smirk-down between Topher Grace and Ian Somerhalder.

Random boob, you ask? Ahaha, my children! Would I even bother otherwise? Your Crap post awaits below,

- Photo Boy

Photo: Getty, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Heidi Klum Miley Cyrus Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    If they keep rubbing their crotches together, they are going to start a bush fire.

  2. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    So TRUE
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought the Oscars = talent. What are these two talentless twats doing in the middle of a talent show??

  3. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, so classy. Mutton, lamb, etc.

  4. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    What is the deal with Kourtney Kardashian? She never tries to look attractive. Like she always wants to be considered the ugly step-sister…that is the ugliest dress in the Northern Hemisphere.

    AFTERTHOUGHT: Could it be she was molested once upon a time? If so, how sad…

  5. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Bouncy Castle
    Commented on this photo:

    I went to the doctor yesterday, suffering from premature ejaculation.

    Doctor said, “This must be very stressful for your wife.”

    I said, “To be honest, it’s getting on her tits.”

  6. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    Hanging low

  7. Heidi Klum Miley Cyrus Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    PLEASE ULTIMATESURRENDER.COM? Ppl would pay……..

  8. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Petey
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn her face looks so old and haggard and that hair is horrible, but from the neck down – not baaaaad.

  9. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Subtle. You might not be able to tell, but this is a middle aged woman on the prowl for her next wealthy husband. You have to be trained to notice the signs.

  10. Heidi Klum Joanna Reichert Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “Vell, ze idea came from ‘Awestan Pozvers’. Zings didn’t go eggzactly ehs planned.”

  11. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “The dame was an East German spy. Went by the name of Cookiecups Pukeface. Things were about to get in-ter-es-tink…”

  12. Heidi Klum Cleavage Naomi Campbell Kissing 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    guttboy
    Commented on this photo:

    This is my 1995 fantasy come to fruition.

  13. Heidi Klum Miley Cyrus Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    amir
    Commented on this photo:

    Miley looks a little intimidated, she’s usually the one who is considered ‘wild’, but I think she realizes that she is with a veteran freak.

  14. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Fugly She over the Hill rolling down!

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