Heidi Klum’s Cleavage Is The Crap We Missed

February 25th, 2013 // 75 Comments

Welcome to the words below the breasts. It’s a little lonely down here, so I’ll pretend like some of you stuck around to find out why there’s a change in format today. Last night, Fish and I live-tweeted the Oscars, resulting in me not getting my usual headstart on an event-laden weekend along with a bee’s nest of crazy that’s not even worth mentioning. However, my Oscar weekend coverage did yield an event that I felt grasped the essence of what a Crap post normally includes. From the awkward, forced interactions with Steven Tyler or Chris Brown, to this side shot of Kim Kardashian that she would have you believe is all baby bump. This event really did have it all. Salvador Sanchez was there, as well as this magical creature that I’m almost positive is a unicorn and there was even a douchey smirk-down between Topher Grace and Ian Somerhalder.

Random boob, you ask? Ahaha, my children! Would I even bother otherwise? Your Crap post awaits below,

- Photo Boy

Photo: Getty, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Heidi Klum Miley Cyrus Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    No tongue sticking out here, but the bugged eyes got me thinking she’s down to go down.

  2. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, Seal! Suck it… no longer you can!

  3. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    One day they are in…the next they are out.

  4. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    A cow, a super model, and a little munchkin from wizard of oz.

  5. Heidi Klum Miley Cyrus Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Why are their vaginas touching? Personal space, Miley, personal space.

  6. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    In Hollywood every day is Halloween.
    MOO

  7. Heidi Klum Joanna Reichert Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    This reminds me of the SNL skit with Patrick Swayze and Chris Farley trying out for Chippendales?

  8. Holy shit!!! Are you serious? How is that the Academy didn’t just hand this woman an Oscar (or three or four) just because boobs.

  9. Heidi Klum Miley Cyrus Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Pumpkinhead and Lizard Queen.

  10. Heidi Klum Miley Cyrus Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    No tongue?! Must be a serious software conflict. The lesbian wants to lick those tits. But the chipmunk knows you can’t store walnuts in your mouth and lick something. She may need a reboot.

  11. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    KV
    Commented on this photo:

    Heidi Heidi, ich glaube die ganze Welt hat verstanden das du wieder ledig bist. Nicht schön, nicht schön !

  12. Heidi Klum Miley Cyrus Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    KV
    Commented on this photo:

    Did Miley came finally out of the closet ? And… what the hell is she on ?

  13. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    How many boobs is that, not counting the tits of course?

  14. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    bingo
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, these are new, right?

  15. Heidi Klum Joanna Reichert Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Indiana Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    A Twins remake? I’m game!

  16. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    Most ridiculous photo ever.

  17. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Ken
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Horatio Christ.
    Impressed

  18. SPIDEY

    Is she a MILF, GILF, or GGILF, or even a GGGGGGLIF, just realize there will always be a ILF at the end of her acronym to me.

  19. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this how far Heidi Klum has fallen? Photo ops with these swine, really?

  20. Heidi Klum Joanna Reichert Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    This photo is for charity I presume?

  21. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    MEDAMNIT
    Commented on this photo:

    MAN!!! SHE HAVE BEAUTIFUL BOOBS!!!

  22. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    what a weird photo

  23. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    There wouldn’t happen to be any chance of Heidi killing them, grinding their bones into powder, and using said powder in a potion that will rejuvenate her youth, would there? Please say there is.

  24. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    USS MOTOR BOAT. Lets got for a 3 hour tour, and find Giligans Island.

  25. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay penis, back in my pants.

  26. Heidi Klum Cleavage Naomi Campbell Kissing 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh Seal, Oh Seal. Hey, wait a minute!”

  27. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    HarryPotter
    Commented on this photo:

    God, if I ever saw those beautiful, voluptuous tits in person- I’d have no choice but to blow my hot load down her throat.

  28. Nikkinakki

    I can’t believe I’ve had spinach in my teeth all night and nobody said anything!!!

  29. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Lance
    Commented on this photo:

    That dude has nice tits!

  30. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like some scary Halloween display at Madame Tussaud’s.

  31. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    anyone else get the feeling this gal is in the midst of a severe midlife crisis?

  32. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    a sad display of extreme narcissism

  33. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Brendalyn
    Commented on this photo:

    They should each put one of heidis tits in their mouths.
    Please!

  34. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Eric d
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks good for titty fuckin’

  35. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Eric d.
    Commented on this photo:

    Put some oil on those puppies

  36. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Ich bin ein boob lover!

  37. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like The Neverending Story, but with tits and extra hands.

  38. Heidi Klum Cleavage Naomi Campbell Kissing 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Air-kiss fail.

  39. Heidi Klum Joanna Reichert Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah…well…mine are bigger.”

  40. Aww look the germans boobs are so sad.

  41. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Nobody knows more about the threat of AIDS than a Kardashian.

  42. Heidi Klum Miley Cyrus Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I applaud the photographer who kept telling them to “Get a little closer”

  43. Heidi Klum Cleavage Naomi Campbell Kissing 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “Can I have some of your lipstick?”
    “Sure.”

  44. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess who is hosting the sag(gy) awards?

  45. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Heidi is beautiful and looks great for having 3-4 kids, but gravity is kicking in, she needs some support!

  46. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice tits. Too bad she’s wasting them on her bodyguard.

  47. Heidi Klum Miley Cyrus Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    winter
    Commented on this photo:

    omgoodness why does Miley think her eyes look good bulging out her face like that it looks like she’s on METH…badgal

  48. Heidi Klum Cleavage 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    winter
    Commented on this photo:

    No Heidi this dress makes your boobs look like youve had five kids……it couldve been taylored more and its not doing anything for her she looks OLD…

    • Girl

      SERIOUSLY. SHe has the potential to look so good!! Had her chest been covered up, she would have looked 10 years younger. The too-open chest/boobs and overly tanned skin are not doing her any favours.

  49. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Turd Fergusson
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney looks like the Shadout Mapes.

  50. Heidi Klum Cleavage Kim Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian 21st Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Throb the Wonder Mule
    Commented on this photo:

    And the TIGHTEST Twang selection goes to. . . . . . . . .

    As much as I detest her whole family and her ‘fame’ – I have to say Kim looks friggin’ delicious.
    Now I’d fall into the gaping maw which is her twat, also that of Heide, both stretched by huge black – but if I could remain disease free, I’d hump Kim over both, with Kourtney next and Heide last..

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