So Heidi Klum’s A Bionic Nazi Superwoman, There’s No Denying It Anymore

April 4th, 2013 // 61 Comments

Earlier in the week, I made light of Heidi Klum claiming she “rescued” her son from drowning in the ocean, arrogantly thinking she embellished picking the kid up after a wave knocked him over. Then I saw these photos and JESUS CHRIST. Turns out Heidi Klum not only legitimately rescued her son and his nanny from a crazy riptide, but basically bent the goddamn ocean to her will. Once you stop looking at her nipples, you can practically hear her screaming, “Scheisse! Ich bin das Fuhrer!” into Poseidon’s face. We’re all gonna die.

Photos: AKM-GSI

superficial

  1. Heidi Klum Bikini Nipple Beach Rescue Riptide Hawaii
    everyoneisstupid
    Commented on this photo:

    Who fucking cares that her nipple slipped. She fucking rescues two lives and a nipple slip seems to be a big deal in this world. Fuck media.

  2. Heidi Klum Bikini Nipple Beach Rescue Riptide Hawaii
    wow.
    Commented on this photo:

    This pisses me off so much. She saved her child and his caretaker from possibly drowning and the focal point of the story is the fact she fell out of her bathing suit? The media seriously needs to get its priorities together.

  3. Heidi Klum Bikini Nipple Beach Rescue Riptide Hawaii
    eba
    Commented on this photo:

    Sigh. I can’t believe how shallow people are to be commenting on her appearance with a story like this. SHE RESCUED TWO PEOPLE. Get your fucking priorities straight.

  4. Heidi Klum Bikini Nipple Beach Rescue Riptide Hawaii
    huggy bear
    Commented on this photo:

    Water looks to be cold

  5. Heidi Klum Bikini Nipple Beach Rescue Riptide Hawaii
    Patrick
    Commented on this photo:

    You guys are worthless perverts you know that? She did what she knew was right, and pulled her son and nanny out of a rip tide. All of you need to think of what you would do and what was going through her son’s mind. Think of it you worthless pigs, get out of your house, get a hobby instead of looking at nipples got it?? Get a fucking life!

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