Heidi Fleiss: ‘Charlie Sheen’s Not an Addict, Lindsay Lohan Is’

January 13th, 2011 // 29 Comments

File this one under “The Whore Pot Calling The Kettle a Drug Addict.”

Here’s former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss doing Charlie Sheen just such an amazing favor by defending his recent bender in Vegas where he presumably banged porn star Bree Olson and a Nazi simultaneously in a hale of coke and booze. RadarOnline reports:

“Look, people need to leave Charlie the f**k alone. Do they really expect him to go to church when he is not working?
“He is the highest paid actor on television — on a really popular show — and he always delivers by turning up on time and putting in great performances, and that’s all that matters.
“There is no comparison with Lindsay Lohan because she is not functional and is an addict with a sickness – I should know because I’ve been to rehab several times too.
“It’s not as if we see Charlie smoking a crack pipe or anything, the guy just loves to party, and people just don’t seem to want to accept that.
“Also, Charlie is making a lot more money than Lindsay and he should be allowed to spend it whatever way he sees fit. She’s the one that has to try and get her career and life back on track. He’s doing fine.
“Really – Charlie Sheen with hookers? It’s not a real surprise, is it? Who’s fooling who here?!”

Except unknown to Heidi at the time, Charlie Sheen actually did miss work Wednesday because apparently he had “ear infection.” Now, I’m not saying someone tried to listen to the ocean via a hooker’s vagina, but Occam’s razor dictates he did until a seagull landed on his penis. That being said, anyone else having a hard time arguing with the logic regarding Lindsay Lohan? Because if there’s anything she should take from Charlie’s experience, it’s that you can do all the drugs you want as long as you hide it really well at work. In fact, I wouldn’t say that applies to just Lindsay, but to all drug addicts who are just trying to “party.”

Heidi Fleiss, everyone. Sense talker.

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News

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  1. dufresne

    Do I care? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  2. Lindsay Lohan
    Dr. Hufurrrrr
    Commented on this photo:

    Awww, how cute. She loves the paparazzi…and coke, can’t forget the coke.

  3. Yeezy's Son

    Cocaine’s one hell of a drug! Lindsay still looks good though. But seriously, what a waste.

  4. The Most Interesting

    It’s not often that I drink beer, but Dean Martin would think Carlos has got a problem.

    • Reggie Rhino

      In reality, Dino was never really a drinker~ He just portrayed one on-stage as part of his stage persona. In real life,Dean Martin was a teetotaler! So, yes he would think that Carlos has a problemo !

  5. The moral of the story is, never disparage your clients.

  6. Cock Dr

    “he should be allowed to spend it whatever way he sees fit”
    That’s a fine Libertarian attitude & I can’t help thinking that some of Heidi’s old friends in the biz have been making a fortune off of jackass Sheen.

  7. Facebook me

    If this isn’t a classic case of Stockholm Syndrome, I don’t know what is..

    Heidi Fleiss and Charlie Sheen are so meant for one another.

  8. Sheen and Fliess could easily make a faces of meth photo lineup. Linds isn’t even in the same ballpark…yet.

  9. Colin

    Do you think Madame Fleiss knows that he’s been to rehab multiple times? I mean, I know he probably single-handedly paid for her retirement back when she ran her little whorehouse, but come on.

  10. Someone didn’t feed Skeletor at Betty Ford. Next time she goes I bet she treats the staff a little better.

  11. RoboZombie

    Obviously the next step is Charlie banging Lindsay.

  12. Clyde

    So, you aren’t an addict if you binge drink, do drugs and have sex with questionable women as long as you have a hit show and ass loads of money…good to know! Thanks Heidi.

  13. wait, something about this story just doesn’t sound true…

    someone asked Heidi Fleiss opinion?

  14. Lindsay Lohan
    kai
    Commented on this photo:

    oh noo, too much botox

  15. Lady Blah Blah

    I realize that Fish is going to post whatever he wants to post here, and that what he posts is largely determined by what he thinks will ultimately benefit him financially. So there will be little to no political comments, because too many posters complain when there are, and we’ll have to be subjected to this pathetic Lohan (good in Mean Girls, all downhill from there) pretty much daily.

  16. Reggie Rhino

    Why does this not surprise me? Oh yeah, because Charlie Sheen was one of Heidi’s biggest customers when she was “The Hollywood Madam”, that’s why!
    Once a whore-monger always a whore-monger huh,Heidi? Still protecting her customer list and all that madam-like shit!

  17. Frobz

    Look, it’s Howard *booomp* The Duck! Quack quack quack with those idiotic inflated lips. Or maybe she just has “the flu”.

  18. JA

    What exactly is a “hale” of coke and booze? Is it English?

  19. dude

    VEGAS HOOKER: “Hey, don’t you have to be back in L.A. today to shoot your show?”

    CHARLIE: “TWAT DID YOU SAY? I CUNT HEAR YOU! I HAVE AN EAR INFUCKTION!!”

    VEGAS HOOKER: “C’mere You rascal!” (motorboats his balls).

  20. lightdragon

    Heidi is probably pissed that Lindsay will not use her girls but Charlie will.

  21. Lindsay Lohan
    Audrey Jo
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeh, she’s addicted to botox in her mouth. TIME TO STOP THAT, GIRL!

  22. Lindsay Lohan
    Jerry Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    DEAD DUCK WALKING

  23. Lindsay Lohan
    kim
    Commented on this photo:

    are her cheeks sunken in from smoking?? I really wanna know

  24. Personification of the Gods that built Mount Olympus

    Charlie is just a method actor. The coke, booze and hooker is simply research for his character in “2 and a half man”.

  25. Ptitz

    Man, i can only dream about sniffing coke and bangin porn stars when i turn 45. Hes havin the most epic mid life crisis ever!

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