Heidi Fleiss: ‘Charlie Sheen’s Not an Addict, Lindsay Lohan Is’

File this one under “The Whore Pot Calling The Kettle a Drug Addict.”

Here’s former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss doing Charlie Sheen just such an amazing favor by defending his recent bender in Vegas where he presumably banged porn star Bree Olson and a Nazi simultaneously in a hale of coke and booze. RadarOnline reports:

“Look, people need to leave Charlie the f**k alone. Do they really expect him to go to church when he is not working?
“He is the highest paid actor on television — on a really popular show — and he always delivers by turning up on time and putting in great performances, and that’s all that matters.
“There is no comparison with Lindsay Lohan because she is not functional and is an addict with a sickness – I should know because I’ve been to rehab several times too.
“It’s not as if we see Charlie smoking a crack pipe or anything, the guy just loves to party, and people just don’t seem to want to accept that.
“Also, Charlie is making a lot more money than Lindsay and he should be allowed to spend it whatever way he sees fit. She’s the one that has to try and get her career and life back on track. He’s doing fine.
“Really – Charlie Sheen with hookers? It’s not a real surprise, is it? Who’s fooling who here?!”

Except unknown to Heidi at the time, Charlie Sheen actually did miss work Wednesday because apparently he had “ear infection.” Now, I’m not saying someone tried to listen to the ocean via a hooker’s vagina, but Occam’s razor dictates he did until a seagull landed on his penis. That being said, anyone else having a hard time arguing with the logic regarding Lindsay Lohan? Because if there’s anything she should take from Charlie’s experience, it’s that you can do all the drugs you want as long as you hide it really well at work. In fact, I wouldn’t say that applies to just Lindsay, but to all drug addicts who are just trying to “party.”

Heidi Fleiss, everyone. Sense talker.

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News