Heather Mills gets buttload of cash from Paul McCartney

March 17th, 2008 // 179 Comments

I haven’t been following the Heather Mills/Paul McCartney 80-year-long divorce battle because, frankly, anything to do with The Beatles makes me want to go into a coma. However, today a judge awarded Heather Mills a whopping $48.6 million in the divorce settlement, according to the AP:

A document released by the Family Court said the judge awarded Mills a lump sum of $33 million plus the assets she currently holds worth $15.6 million.
“I’m so, so happy with this,” Mills told reporters following the closed hearing.

Clearly you are happy, Heather Mills, judging by your well-deserved thumbs up. You had sex with Paul McCartney then walked away with a gigantic chunk of his cash. I believe there’s a word for that*. What is it again? Oh, right: Hero.

*Click on link for full effect. Please. I’ll be your best friend.

Photo: Getty Images
superficial

  1. Italian Stallion

    WHORE

  2. Spartacus

    Hate her!

  3. Spartacus

    A life built upon lies, lies lies

  4. havoc

    $48.6 million will buy a lot of peg legs………

    WHORE.

    .

  5. UCrawford

    If you hurry over to Wikipedia before the editors notice it, apparently some McCartney fan (no, not me) added this blurb to Heather Mills’ bio about the divorce settlement:

    “Mills and McCartney separated in 2006. After the couple’s divorce in March 2008, Mills was awarded £24.3 million, plus payments of £35,000 per annum, and nanny and school costs for their daughter, Beatrice. Which is of course, absolute bullshit considering she came into the marriage with a fraction of the fortune and fame that Paul had. She is a good-for-nothing, pegleg, trashbag succubus. We can only pray that a dingo eats her baby”

    Paul? Guess you’ve moved into the computer age.

  6. agree

    She is just a gold digger. Now Paul is dating another young beauty online now. I saw his profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “W e a lthyRomance.com” last week.

  7. Sara

    With 50 million dollars, I REALLY hope she’ll do some shopping judging by the multi colored suit she’s wearing.

  8. fergernauster

    Silly psychotic bitch.

    I mean McCartney.

    His fault for marrying this unstable peg-leg in the first place. He’s got everything he deserved.

  9. UCrawford

    Too late…already gone. Those Wikipedia editors are on the ball. :)

  10. fergernauster

    I would like to lubricate her stump.

  11. Sid

    She’s not giving the thumbs up. Somebody asked her what her left leg looks like.

  12. UCrawford

    “His fault for marrying this unstable peg-leg in the first place. He’s got everything he deserved.”

    Actually, his fault for not doing a pre-nup because he wanted to be “romantic”. Pretty much the entire British public and press who paid attention to that were saying it was a horrible idea in this day and age. Say what you will about the British fishwraps, but they can smell a golddigger.

  13. Geoge Washington

    She reminds me of that peg leg pirate – Just minus a few tentacles.
    Paul can get by with a little help from his friends.
    He should have married Michael Jackson anyways.

  14. What in the world is up with her outfit? It looks like a “serious” clown suit, funny, but yet, it’s lacking…something.
    Oh, I know, she needs a big pink flower in her lapel that shoots out battery acid. There we go…hilarity and an anti-terrorist device. Sweet.

    Peg-leg, all you need is love…and 50 million, right ole girl?

  15. Van

    All the money and she can’t buy herself a decent outfit? Twoface wants his suit back.

  16. quit worshiping celebrities

    I don’t know much about her and I refuse to make room in my brain for Heather Mills trivia. I do know she is a greedy bitch who pretends to care about charities and yet she’ll hoard all these millions for herself, no doubt about it.
    Most of all I can’t stand Paul McCartney he fucking only dates women who look exactly like his wife(who passed away). It’s sick, weird ,and pathetic. He romanced Mills away from her fiancee so maybe it’s all karma (the big messy divorce). Plus Paul pretends to be some big fucking humanitarian when he’s worth billions and live like a fucking glutton. What he gives to charities is nothing but miserable crumbs compared to all the fucking dough the ass keeps for himself. He spent millions to marry this tart and how long did it fucking last? Donate that money to a hosptital next time and maybe some sick kids will be able to last longer than your next marriage ya fucking douchebag. I hate greedy rich celebrities. I don’t give a fuck that he was a Beetle. I hope someone squashes the filthy little bug and puts him in his place. Paul in the grand scheme of things you’re nothing but a skervy little spider and maybe we all are but, at least the rest of us didn’t marry a fucking peg leged gold digger because she looked like our dead wife (way to show respect you tool).
    His new GF Rosanna Arquette (yes David Arquette’s sister) looks just like his deceased wife.

    Bottom line they are both pathetic and no one deserves to live like these two greedy a-holes..

  17. crabby old guy

    Wow – she won that much. And here I didn’t think she had a leg to stand on.

    Seriously, I think that the judge awarded that much only because he (like the rest of us) had suffered through all that crappy McCartney music for so long that he was just PISSED.

    Hell, “Silly Love Songs” should be worth about $5,000,000 in punitive damages alone!

  18. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    i am the golddigger, coo coo ca choo

    sara @8, i was going to comment on the apparent color-blindness.

  19. fergernauster

    Paul is a Mme Tussaud wax figure that (barely) survived a fire.

  20. The Laughing God

    This reminds me of Johnny Carson in Time magazine. One panel had him on his knees, as if he were beseeching God to intervene, and the other panel had his wife, Joanna Holland, jumping for joy. Protect your assets, prenuptial everything; if she won’t prenuptial then she is not the one, dump her and keep looking. Let this, and other, atrocities of man serve as examples.

    I hope they find this woman in her bed, dead, with her prosthetic shoved through her rectum. 48.6 million is world moving, kill the bitch, money in my eyes; I’d rather spend it on an elaborate hit than fork it over.

  21. fergernauster

    Yes, “Laughing God”. This expensive drama is merely what transpires when men so wisely (and repeatedly) think through the eyes of their birds.

    Serves them and their wanting willies right.

  22. sugartits

    I’m not too sure why she’s happy with $48.6 million when she previously turned down a settlement offer of $50 million. She greeded herself out of $0.4 million and still has to pay legal fees.

  23. @17, it’s Beatles, specifically The Beatles.
    I just couldn’t myself from fixing that little faux pau.

  24. lee lee

    this gold digging bitch has cheated on sir paul since they had been married
    she doesn’t deserve shit. now we know why stalla never liked her

  25. She got 48.6 million from a billionare? That is lunch money for Paul..

  26. 1 MILF Hunter

    #18 – she’s definitely not on her last leg after this settlement. She can get a lightweight platinum peg leg with the cash.

    Paul got ripped on this. She brought little into the marriage and walks away with millions. Sure he’s loaded, but typical gold digger. Paul paid an arm and a leg in this settlement.

    CELEBRITIES – GET AN IRONCLAD PRE-NUP!!!

  27. pointandlaugh

    I am shocked. After reviewing the facts of her case, I was convinced that legally, she didn’t have a leg to stand on.

    /HEY-YO!
    //Try the veal
    ///here all week

  28. Weets

    Some threads are great for identifying commenters. The JLH ones lure out the fatties; Scary Spice made the nigs and their haters pop up; and this one is identifying the bitter-in-love/brutally dumped people.

  29. quit worshiping celebrities

    #24. Thanks. I refuse to spell check for these a-holes but, he was a beatle no? Can you say that or can you only say he was a member of The Beatles. Bah it just goes to show how little I care and that I don’t worship the musical little douche. Sure the music was good. Was it worthy of making him a billionaire while kids still die everyday from not having anough food?.. Um …FUCK NO.

  30. Proof that if you keep a song in your heart and your legs open, you too can win the Golddigger Sweepstakes. Better odds than the lottery.

  31. pointandlaugh

    24. SmokingGirl – March 17, 2008 12:15 PM

    @17, it’s Beatles, specifically The Beatles.
    I just couldn’t myself from fixing that little faux pau.
    —————–

    FAUX PAS

  32. Avid Beatles Fan

    YOU SUCK!

    THE BEATLES ARE THE GREATEST BAND OF ALL TIME.

    PAUL MCCARTNEY ROCKS!

  33. quit worshiping celebrities

    *enough
    Jebus I’m a on a crap spelling roll with my a’s and e’s.

    I’m sure I’ve made other mistakes. Correct if you wish people.

  34. fergernauster

    “@17, it’s Beatles, specifically The Beatles.
    I just couldn’t myself from fixing that little faux pau. ”

    And I cannot (help) myself from fixing that little “faux pas.”

    :o)

  35. The Laughing God

    Further, she came in after Paul had all his money. Paul has his own chefs, house staff, drivers, ect. What exactly did she do in the relationship that warranted that price? So far all I can find is 9 months as an apartment for their kid, I bet nannies took care of that thing as soon as it was out too. This is disgusting. Where are all the crazed Beatles fans? Shouldn’t one of them have Mansion clanned her by now?

  36. Scary Spice lover

    #33- Isn’t it spelled “fo’ pa”? As in, “Imma git a fo’ty o’ Phat Boy fo’ pa”

  37. Dee

    #31 quit worshiping celebrities

    Paul McCartney was in the greatest band of all time. He still performs and makes great music. He is actively involved in the following charities:

    21st Century Leaders
    Adopt-A-Minefield
    American Wild Horse Preservation Campaign
    Dorset Wildlife Trust
    Great Ormond Street Hospital
    Keep A Child Alive
    Make Poverty History
    PETA
    Society for Animal Protective Legislation
    War Child
    Whatever It Takes

    I listen to The Beatles, Wings, or Paul McCartney’s lastest CD releases everyday and it puts a smile on my face. There is a new Beatles fan born everyday. Paul has always been honest and polite to the media. I wish him all the best.

  38. Beatles were awesome - Heather a $$$$$ Pirate

    You would have to be quite shallow or deaf to day otherwise. But then again the average asswipe probably thinks the same for Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, etc. They don’t thrash or they don’t be rhymin’ widdat Nigga jive…

  39. Andrea

    Good for Heather!!!

    I love to see smart girls harvest the low-hanging cash from useless-but-horny old men. Suckers! Hahahahahahahaha!

  40. Tarl

    Wow, she’s happy? If I remember correctly Paul offered her 60 million ages ago to go away…..so now she gets 48 million. Guess she wanted to stretch it out and keep the story in the press, personally, I would have taken the 60 million (12 million MORE than what she got).

  41. I don’t think she deserved it, but it’s not like he’s going to notice a difference. What can he NOT buy now? Nothing.

  42. Syndie

    “What can he NOT buy now?”

    Something that makes him look like he isn’t an old fool.

  43. that greedy goldigging bitch deserves to get that prostetic leg of hers shoved up her ass.
    http://slackerchic.blogspot.com/

  44. Faux pas, thank you. I didn’t think that looked right when I typed it out, but I suppose that looking right and being right are two different things. *sigh*

    If mouse becomes mice, why doesn’t house become hice?
    And if goose becomes geese, why not moose become meese?

    It’s the little things in life that make you ponder…like how exactly ole peg-leg could get up this morning and say, “Yes, I look quite dashing in this circus outfit.”
    Heather, the Canadians called, they want their denim tux. back. *da, dum, dum…tink*

  45. Patricia

    #42

    You obviously have no clue. You probably worship Kim Kardaskank too. Heather had unresolved issues from her childhood and has severe anger issues. Paul tried his best to deal with it but it is no fun living with an out of control angry person. Heather is not smart or else she would have not done the porn book in Germany. Paul met Heather at a charity event. Paul doesn’t want to have a bunch of girlfriends; he simply wants to find one loving, smart, and caring person like his late wife Linda. Good luck Paul. We love you.

  46. quit worshiping celebrities

    Do you have the slightest clue how much money he keeps for himself? Do you know what a difference billions could make in this world? Like I said what he gives to charities is nothing but CRUMBS compared to what he keeps for himself. Don’t give me a laundry list of the charities he supports I know ordinary citizens who make $35,000 a year and are involved with more charities than that.

    A firefighter who saves lives and puts theirs at risk everyday NEVER expecting a giant audience of fans, a star on a sidewalk, awards or billions of dollars for their priceless contribution to society makes $40,000 a year. There is something seriously wrong with how much money these idiots make. No one deserves that kind of money while the world is in the state it is. There is an encyclopedia full of under funded charities and causes in need.

    A new Beatles fan is born everyday ya well a fucking child dies every second of extreme poverty and this greedy bitch could live in a normal sized house and change that significantly with all his wealth.

    I’m not saying he didn’t make great music, I’m saying he has NO RIGHT to live the way he does in the GRAND MORALE SCHEME OF LIFE.

    And then these idiots whine about all the press and invasion of their privacy. It’s Karma for greed, that’s what it is. When you behave like a spectacle and own homes the size of hotels and your own plane and helicopter people are going to pay attention. You want your privacy than take firefighters’ salary and start living with some dignity like a fucking normal human being instead of some sick greedy god on Mount Olympus.

    Celebrity BULLSHIT: “Buy my cd, go see my movie, read my book, watch my interview where I air out my dirty laundry and PRIVATE affairs, pay attention to meeeeee BUT, don’t say anything bad about me and respect my privacy.

    So this man gets the billions from the everyday people who love his music and keeps most of it for himself. He would be nothing without his fans (i.e.; THE PEOPLE) so give back to society celebrities and quit living like gluttons.

    CHARITY IS NOT JUST ABOUT WHAT YOU GIVE BUT HOW YOU LIVE.

  47. fergernauster

    “Good luck Paul. We love you.”

    Speak for yourself, please.

  48. quit writing essays

    they’re (you’re) boring

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