Heather Mills gets buttload of cash from Paul McCartney

I haven’t been following the Heather Mills/Paul McCartney 80-year-long divorce battle because, frankly, anything to do with The Beatles makes me want to go into a coma. However, today a judge awarded Heather Mills a whopping $48.6 million in the divorce settlement, according to the AP:

A document released by the Family Court said the judge awarded Mills a lump sum of $33 million plus the assets she currently holds worth $15.6 million.
“I’m so, so happy with this,” Mills told reporters following the closed hearing.

Clearly you are happy, Heather Mills, judging by your well-deserved thumbs up. You had sex with Paul McCartney then walked away with a gigantic chunk of his cash. I believe there’s a word for that*. What is it again? Oh, right: Hero.

*Click on link for full effect. Please. I’ll be your best friend.

Photo: Getty Images