Heather Mills can’t live on $48.6 million

March 26th, 2008 // 177 Comments

Let’s say you just won $48.6 million. What would be the first thing you would do? Me? After pissing my pants, I’d run around town throwing hundred bills at squirrels. Then come back under the cover of darkness and kick their asses until they gave it back. As for Heather Mills the first thing she did is hire forensic accountants to pore over Paul McCartney’s assets because, apparently, she can’t get by on $48.6 million. Of course, she’s mainly concerned about her daugher Bea. I mean, how can she raise a child on such meager funds? The Daily Mail reports:

“Heather’s thinking is that Bea should not be seen to have a different lifestyle when she is with Heather compared to Paul – and she is going about proving that is not possible.
“Heather is hoping Paul will discretely make a payment to her annually rather than want to go back to court and rake all this up again.”

I don’t want to point fingers and call Heather Mills a gold digger. But if you opened the trunk of her car you’d probably find a pick ax and, let’s be real, a dead prospector. I’m not saying Heather Mills strangled him for his claim, but I’m also not saying he wasn’t beaten with a wooden leg.

Photo: Daily Mail
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  1. FRIST!!!

    and by sweet I mean no other leg to hit my head.

  2. rosa parx

    My dog is weiner dog. How ironic is that?! When he licked me down there, I was mad first but then strangley.. silent and golden. Man’s best firend indeed!

  3. Village

    The big problem with the $48 million is that she is really only getting $20 mil, the rest is in real estate or stuff. And $20 mil in the bank only throws off $1,200,000 a year, IF SHE DOESN’T spend any of the principal. (She was awarded 14 mil pounds in cash, but she has $4 mil pounds in debts.) She has borrowed 2 mil pounds over 2 years for living expenses, so she is really in a pickle. She has a million pound a year lifestyle, she would like to have a 2 and 1/2 mil pound lifestyle, and the judge has saddled her with a 600,000 pound lifestyle. Oh my. She has a problem.

    The judge really screwed her. He let her keep the stuff she already had, and then only gave her 10 million pounds, after repayment of debts. (Remember, gas is $10 a gallon in England.) She could blow through that in five or ten years time, leaving her broke.

    We can only hope.

  4. Trover

    She is complaining about having a miserabe life and being harrassed yet has no clue is is the cause of it all. Just shut up already you stupid gold digging piece of human waste. Her poor daughter is going to be raised by a mother with a brain so septic that she will have no shot at a normal relationship. EVER. HM, and women like her and Mnady, are a scourge on this earth.

  5. deacon jones

    @45
    Well said! I have 4 buddies that are married and they limp thru life on their wife’s leash like puppies that just pissed on the floor. Theyre shadows of their former selves and they know it. It’s pathetic

  6. Hardy Bonjo Lizzardia

    She is such a bitch.

  7. Trover

    SHe lived on much less before Paul. She can and should do it again. And again, thedaughter will bank when Paul dies. this is all about HM, nothing about the daughter. She is so full of it is hilarious.

    I wish I had to just live on $1 mill a year. Must be rough.

  8. shannon

    hahahaha! 56. you are such a loser. Just cause you can’t get laid doesn’t mean you need to down other peoples relationships. dumbfuck.

  9. Jade

    #41 Mandy

    Hate men much? Let me guess.. you’re a womens rights activist who hasn’t shaved her legs for a couple decades, right? At the very least you’re just suffering from stupidity.

    Legal battles aside, I hope you just die. Women like you make the rest of us look bad.

  10. Susan

    I agree 100% with Mandy. I’m not surprised all you sheep don’t. The stories get posted and the writer tilts things one way or the other, and you all follow along…baaaaaaaaaa…..baaaaaaaaaa…

  11. BunnyButt

    45, goes both ways – prenups protect both partners against losing their assets, not just the men. Believe it or not, there women with more money than the men they marry.

    And, given that Heather has made her true personality known to the world at large, I can’t imagine any man ever falling in love with her again, so, if she wants to remarry (and she’s young enough that she’ll probably want to), most likely the guy will be in it for the money, and she’ll find herself being “Heather Millsed” when that marriage fails. It’ll be interesting to see how she behaves when the shoe is on the other foot (I’d point out the single foot reference, but I know ya’ll are smart enough to pick up on it).

  12. Xenu's Butler

    #56. That is the saddest, yet most true statement I have read today. I love my wife, but she owns me. Women are so controlling, it is pathetic. If they do not get their way, it is emotional hell for you.

  13. more please

    see guys?

    just read the comments of the “females” in here talking about how she “deserves” it. any time you hear somebody defending these types of actions, there’s always an undercurrent of “stick it to him for all you can !!” which is pathetic in the truest sense of the word.

    how small of a person do you have to be to have that mindset?

  14. please someone kill this witch

    41 – for what… 4 years?
    He made all of his money and his work that he receives royalties from, before he ever knew her!

    are you brain dead?

    she will be getting 70,000 per year for her child, that is not a onetime payment …

    and this does not include payments for school, he will also pay for that….

    Susan and Mandy deserve to be skinned alive.

  15. deacon jones

    @60 – Good One!
    @59 – No, I dont hate women, I just cant stand being around them every spare second nagging the shit out of me. That’s why I date the arm candy ones, at least they know not to ask me to go to the mall and pick out tablesets on my Saturday, they know their role -suck my dick when I ask and cook me dinner.

    After a year or two I cant even put up despite the great sex, so I kick em to the curb, that’s what I do Shannon, you pale, flabby soccer mom

  16. deacon jones

    @63
    Thank you Xenu. Now take that plunge and get the fuck out before you’re 85 yrs old sitting in a retirement village regretting you never did

  17. Bea

    Daddy, I don’t want to go to Mummy’s house. The caviar smells like fish and the champagne tastes like piss!

  18. reality bites

    #61

    baaaa baaaa back to you, you moron. just like an insecure child to get worked up cause everyone doesn’t agree with you. thankfully god had more than one cookie cutter.

    you have your asshole and we all have our assholes so don’t go getting worked up cause we don’t see shit the way you do.

  19. I hear her award was prorated due to lack of a complete female physique.

  20. Pat Conolly

    Since Heather likes living large more than Paul, it’s not likely the daughter will notice a drop off from being with her dad or her mom. It’s not like “I have to leave my dad’s mansion now to go back to my poor mom’s broken down shanty”.

    At least until her mom blows through it all.

  21. fun with synonyms

    “pore over” NOT “pour over”

  22. erin

    Praising #45 and bashing #41 and 61 only identifies you as a woman hater, since all 3 commenters are saying the same thing: make sure you’re the one doing the fucking, not the one getting fucked. It’s a cold-hearted, fearful, defensive “philosophy” (if you can call it that) no matter who spouts it. Only bitter losers embrace it.

  23. more please

    #73

    again, the woman gets it wrong.

    i am not saying men should be “doing the fucking” instead of “getting fucked”.

    i am saying men should PROTECT THEMSELVES from “getting fucked”

    if you don’t know the difference, then there is no hope for you.

  24. Jade

    Everyone should protect themselves. True love can turn bitter. Our, what, 50%+ divorce rate proves that. Blaming it on either men or women is wrong, as both can be greedy unfair divorcees.

  25. more please

    me again…

    i must say that at least you are honest and are admitting that HM is “fucking” Paul.

    thanks for your honesty

  26. deacon jones

    @73
    No Erin, its a fact of fucking life. Men can’t stand women, and women cant stand other women, theyre universally despised. Now get a tit job and move to SoCal

  27. Arctic

    Feminists: Women are “real” and “independent”! BUT, it´s alright to live off an allowance from your man like it´s the 19th century!

    Fuck off and die #41 Mandy

  28. Ghosts of a billion leeches

    what a disgusting cow.
    “i need money so my daughter doesnt realize im a talentless whore who cant get “work”". “infact, im so pathetic, i have to lie to my child just to validate my feigned self respect”

  29. I have a sense of right and wrong

    Erin, Mandy and Susan should be crucified a long with Heather Mills… and I am a woman.

  30. Auntie Kryst

    @41 Mandy, not all men like their women meek and passive as you say. I prefer a woman with with grit and wit. I also prefer my shirts sharply pressed with light starch at the collar. Get the fuck to it!

  31. ixz

    If I had that much money I’d buy a shit load of weed, hell I could probably have a weed farm (not in this retarded country) and be high as shit the rest of my life while mass dealing… now that would be beautiful.

    I don’t give a fuck if she had sex with Paul, Paul was a fucking Beatle! I’d fuck him simply because he was a fucking Beatle!… I don’t know that’s just me… but apparently she loved him… I’d just fuck him because of his status. #41, you’re a fucking idiot, if anything she’s degrading to women because she’s being a money loving, gold digging, jobless little bitch… fucking idiot feminists have no fucking clue what they’re talking about… Heather doesn’t deserve millions, Paul fucking made that money, he was part of a huge musical movement, Heather loved and had sex with him… which if you’re really twisted at thinking can mean prostitution. HAHAHAHA!

  32. The Laughing God

    @ rosa parx: Yes let him take a few quaffs and no you won’t go to hell, doesn’t exist.

    @ Mandy: I hope some club footed midget head butts you in the vagina and then he and his buddies play “Snow White vs the Seven Drawfs” on your ass for the rest of your natural life.

    Somebody please kill Heather Mills!! They killed JFK, Malcom X, Martin Luther King, surely someone can get to this thing.

  33. Jimmy Hat

    Would someone please let Mark David Chapman out of jail for the weekend and tell him that he is Heather Mills.. not John Lennon..

  34. erin

    No no no, you’re right, I’m wrong. There’s no hatred here at all:

    “again, the woman gets it wrong.”

    “Men can’t stand women”

    “Erin, Mandy and Susan should be crucified”

    No hatred at all.

    But, unlike others who despair about “what’s wrong with the world” when reading this stuff, it doesn’t bother me at all. Brave, aggressive, violent anonymous internet commenters eventually turn off the computer and go back – meekly – into the world, unable to cause harm even if they somehow managed to summon the courage to try.

  35. whatever

    @ 74 – She got it wrong because she’s a dumbass, not because she is a woman.

    Mandy, Heather Mills, and anyone else who is all for screwing men over because they think that men just want “passive submissive” women = stupid cunts. (Take your little whiny rant about how demeaning the word “cunt” is, and shove it up your ass.) There should be a special hell for people like Heather Mills, regardless of gender.

    Look, the bottom line is this. Regardless of whether you are a woman or a man, you need to protect your assets. It does go both ways, and there are men as well as women who are opportunists and will rip someone a new asshole in a divorce. This has nothing to do with gender, it simply boils down to how greedy and/or spiteful a person is.

    To all of you women who are crying about men being the enemy, here’s my advice, as a woman: STOP DATING LOSERS. STOP VICTIMIZING YOURSELF. SEEK THERAPY TO GET THROUGH YOUR DADDY ISSUES. Every woman should be able to support herself without sucking resources from a man or anyone else for that matter. If you don’t fall into that category and you’re bitter about it, it’s your own goddamn fault.

  36. By the way

    @ 41 Mandy, fyi just because many Judges are male doesn’t mean they’re “male-dominated” and “always side with the guy”. In fact, in Canada, the total opposite is true. Judges are more likely to side with the woman than the man because she is always seen as the “primary care giver” or whatever. So don’t make up shit just to try to prove a point. Thanks.

  37. jrz

    There’s gotta be a “It’s Gonna Cost Him an Arm and Leg….or Just a Leg” Joke in here somewhere…………..

  38. Jaffo

    Is it wrong to ask God to give this gold-digging bitch pussy cancer?

  39. Anonymous

    more please #45: EXCELLENT post. And all true. I was lucky….my divorce only cost me around $4,000, and believe me, it was worth every penny. That $4,000 was the amount of credit card bills we accumulated during the “marriage” ( I prefer to call it a “clusterfuck”), so I got off pretty easy. No alimony, no child support……thank God. It could have been much, much worse. I’ll never get married again, and kids are out of the question.

  40. #81- My all time favorite email chain picture:

    http://pintumbler.org/Misc/eek/iron-my-shirt.jpg

    I think someone, just for shits and giggles, should put a wheel on Heather Mill’s fake leg. I’d probably choke laughing. I also wonder if she gets half off on pedicures.

  41. Sheva

    Mills gets a global record divorce settlement for four years of married life and now she’s crying about the tens of millions payout.

    Someone is going to off this bitch for free. Wow is she a despicable piece of shit. Her and her lackeys on this thread.

    Good I read it. Just to remind me of the cold hearted bitches out there.

  42. Anonymous

    Randal,

    It’s a good thing you are nowhere near me, because I would beat you to within an inch of your life, you worthless little gay boy.

  43. sexxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Randall, Rosa, and Mandy.

    SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  44. KiKi

    #93

    We know Randall has bad taste because he thinks Kim is hot and not fat lol!

    Anonymous; you are OK in my book.

  45. erin

    “I’ll never get married, and kids are out of the question.”

    Well, both of those go without saying here, re: male commenters…

  46. The Laughing God

    @ rosa parx: Yes let him take a few quaffs and no you won’t go to hell, doesn’t exist.

    @ Mandy: I hope some club footed midget head butts you in the vagina and then he and his buddies play “Snow White vs the Seven Drawfs” on your ass for the rest of your natural life.

    Somebody please kill Heather Mills!! They killed JFK, Malcom X, Martin Luther King, surely someone can get to this thing.

  47. Auntie Kryst

    @91 I love that picture too, it always makes me laugh. I was thinking about it when I wrote that post.

  48. Andrea

    I agree with #85. This site has lots of male commenters who vent hatred toward women, over and over again, but it’s not anything to worry about because in real life, these guys get stomped.

  49. The Truth!!!!

    Man is not complete until he’s married, and then he’s finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    What is the most significant cause for a women’s loss of sexual desire?

    Wedding Cake!

  50. #99 – That’s just not true! I always strike my woman with an open hand, never a closed fist, and always from the palm side, never knuckles up. Geez, you’re a female version of Jerimiah Wright…

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