Heather Mills can’t live on $48.6 million

March 26th, 2008 // 177 Comments

Let’s say you just won $48.6 million. What would be the first thing you would do? Me? After pissing my pants, I’d run around town throwing hundred bills at squirrels. Then come back under the cover of darkness and kick their asses until they gave it back. As for Heather Mills the first thing she did is hire forensic accountants to pore over Paul McCartney’s assets because, apparently, she can’t get by on $48.6 million. Of course, she’s mainly concerned about her daugher Bea. I mean, how can she raise a child on such meager funds? The Daily Mail reports:

“Heather’s thinking is that Bea should not be seen to have a different lifestyle when she is with Heather compared to Paul – and she is going about proving that is not possible.
“Heather is hoping Paul will discretely make a payment to her annually rather than want to go back to court and rake all this up again.”

I don’t want to point fingers and call Heather Mills a gold digger. But if you opened the trunk of her car you’d probably find a pick ax and, let’s be real, a dead prospector. I’m not saying Heather Mills strangled him for his claim, but I’m also not saying he wasn’t beaten with a wooden leg.

Photo: Daily Mail

  1. deacon jones

    OMG! First! YES!!

  2. lipper

    loser, lol

    Damn, does she wash that hair? Nasty bitch!

  3. Quinn

    She’s a genius.
    A heartless gold digging bitch, but genius.

  4. Anne

    You don’t need to wash your hair when you wear a two tone suit that is half denim.

  5. BunnyButt


    Damn, I didn’t make the bacon comment.

  6. Ash

    um… can someone just please do society a favor and give this chick a labotomy… seriously

  7. lipper

    Seriously, did she sew her own suit together? Its freakish… what does it remind me of!?

  8. meh

    Just pay me half that and I’ll make her disappear.

    That is all.

  9. Anne

    Half man, half woman Halloween costumes.

  10. lipper

    But seriously, she has MILLIONS and can’t wash her hair or buy her own suit. She really IS nuts. Certifiable.

  11. Ash

    it’s called trendsetting people, you know … like when you sew dead babies together and wear them for a dress… Heather Mills is a revolutionary

  12. I am worth a little more than 48.6 million and I completely understand where Heather is coming from. I find it very difficult to live on that little amount of money..

  13. lipper

    I think her suit represents her half sane side, and her absolutely off her rocks side. Ok. I get it now! *rolls eyes* To think she’s raising his daughter.

  14. D. Richards

    Heather mills has one leg. Ha-Ha-Ha!

    She was struck by a car! Ha-Ha-Ha!

  15. daveed

    this fuckin biatch needs to find a nice grassy knoll somewhere and die in it. she can probably afford to move to the shire now with all that cash.

  16. lipper

    I just reread this, and laughed when she said that 70,000 is NOT enough to raise her daughter. My god, how DO we common folk ever get by? No one thinks of US! I’m pissed!! I need support dammit!!!! *stomps off mad*

  17. Ted Mosby

    “Egads! I can’t live on on this pittance”

  18. fergernauster

    Look, kidz. It’s his fault for marrying this wing-nut & “thinking” solely with his dessicated wang.

    End of story.

    Pay up, Paulie.

  19. deacon jones

    Typically gold digging piece of shit whore

    At least it’s a Brit this time, so all the English folk can’t use their “You Americans…” opening line

  20. sexxxxxxxxxxxx

    #11 fuckin hilarious!!

    someone please make this nasty gold digger disappear?? please?!?!

    and what the fuck is up with her face?

  21. lipper

    I SPIT on 48 million, I spit!!!!

    Not worthy of my beautiful man suit of many different colors. Its my rainbow suit to finally show the world I’m a lesbian woman. And I wear rainbows now.. I am beautiful in my man rainbow suit and greasy stringy hair. Love me!!!!

  22. Dee

    I hope greedy and over paid Heather just goes away. I am a huge Beatles fan, Paul McCartney, John Lennon, and George Harrison fan as well.

    I hope greedy and over paid Heather just goes away. I am a huge Beatles fan, Paul McCartney, John Lennon, and George Harrison fan as well.

    I would like to dedicate this music video to Heather “We Can Work It Out”:
    (They have great close ups of dreamy Paul and John)

    I also like this version of “We Can Work it Out” because John gets Paul to belly laugh at the end. They are both extremely talented and dreamy icons. John sometimes likes to goof around while performing.

  23. deaon jones

    I hung out with John once at a hotel room party. That man is wild I tell you. We got to know each other pretty well.

  24. Harmonov

    Here’s a hint, peg leg – Get a fucking job. Perhaps you should work for your millions. I see a bright future in porno for you – chick’s with one leg are exotic. There’s a niche and everything for you. Some dude really dig that shit.

    Or perhaps the world will get lucky and another driver will hit you, but this time you’ll lose your cunty, whiny mouth.

    Is there really much difference between having $48.6 million and $250 million, anyway? It’s not like it’s $48,600 and $250,000 we’re talking here.

    If I could only smash this bitch in the face. Twice.

    May termites descend en masse on her wooden leg when she’s not looking and while near the Grand Canyon or some equally rocky crevass. Watch your step, Heather…

  25. rosa parx

    my clit hurts.

  26. Anonymous


    I like you. You know your Beatle history.

  27. What? She has a wooden leg? Sweet..

  28. Poor

    She cant afford to wear nice clothes. It is pretty rude to make fun of someone’s clothes if they cant afford anything else. Seriously……

  29. deacon jones

    Good one! You remember the Steve-O story I see!

  30. rosa parx

    I had tacos for lunch. Now I have to shit.

  31. Ed

    Compared to his total worth, the settlement amount was really low, so she’d hopping mad.

  32. samuel


  33. UCrawford

    McCartney’s fault for violating what should be the number one rule of all wealthy celebrities…never, never, never, never, never, never, never get married to someone you met after you earned your money without a prenup. Hell, why get married at all? $800 million may not buy you love, but you can definitely get a top-notch rental.

  34. Tony

    If she keeps this up, at some point she’ll need to replaced a shattered prosthetic leg and get some shards removed from her rectum.

  35. Jade

    By this idiotic greedy woman’s reasoning, Kevin Federline should have all of Britney’s money so that her children, while in his custody, are living the same life they’re accustomed to while with Britney.

    How many other children benefit from $48.5mil or $800mil? This woman is honestly dingy (although it isn’t that, it is that she just wants as much money as she can get) if she thinks that her child’s life will be lacking while living with her (or if it is lacking, it is because her mother is a psycho gold digger). Her daughter won’t know anything is wrong unless her mother tells her she is lacking. Which in this case, it wouldn’t surprise me if this child has to hear each and every day of her life how bad a father she has.

  36. rosa parx

    I only gave birth three months ago and am still in lactal mode. My boyfriend wants to taste and suckle the milk. What do I do???

  37. John Lennon (via grave)

    Suck my embalmed tool long and hard you encrusted rotten bag of whore

    PS All you need is lube…lube

  38. Rub rub rub one out

    Rub rub rub one out

  39. Trover

    If she keeps this insanity up, she is gonna lose the right to raise her daughter, too, and Paul will take over for her full time. She is bat shit crazy. Her daughter will be fine, we all know it, except HM is making golddiggers look really bad here. I think her head is too far up her rectum for her to see any daylight.

  40. Mandy

    GOOD FOR HER! The courts are male-dominated and always side with the guy. She got way less than she deserved, and she’s not going to put up with that like the passive submissive little girl that all men want (because they can’t handle a real woman). I hope she ties him down with financial battles until he dies.

  41. justifiable

    God, look at that face. Where’s a bogus Argentinian doctor with a syringe full of industrial-grade silicone when you need one?

  42. Champ

    Fuck her, and fuck you Mandy. Get a life AND a job you gravy trainers.
    Hopefully the $49m can get her something nicer than the Benetton Leisure Suit she is wearing.

  43. rosa parx

    I let my dog sniff and lick me down there once.

    Am I going to hell?

  44. more please

    I really hope that this story keeps getting press. I hope that she keeps pushing and pushing and we keep hearing all the gory details.


    Because it’ll make men smarter when thinking about marriage. The more news we hear about this, the better.

    Guys, take note. I know you aren’t a former Beatle, but you better learn to protect yourself. Don’t be an idiot and put all the things you worked so hard for at risk for a piece of pussy. Only stupid, naive teenagers think like that.

    If you get married without a prenup, and you live in Community Property state, your (ex)wife can take half of everything earned during the marriage. EVERYTHING including property, interest earned, retirement accounts (that’s right, YOUR retirement account that she paid zero dollars into), EVERYTHING.

    This does not include spousal AND child support (disclaimer : you will have to pay child support no matter what, even if you have it in the prenup).

    So, that’s what you have to look forward to if you are stupid enough to get married without a prenup and even stupider if you have a kid with her.

    Guys, GROW UP !!! You better learn the reality of the rules before you play the game. Marriage ain’t about “feelings”, it’s about the daily grind of living life with another person all day/every day.

  45. Auntie Kryst

    Rosa, shut the fuck up and move to the back of the bus.

  46. deacon jones

    Mandy, you piece of stinking fucking shit.
    If you’re so worried about being a real women, you would denounce her taking her husband’s money and getting a fucking real job and supporting herself, you fucking confused bimbo dike

  47. nipolian

    Mandy – You have recently been analized against your will, haven’t you?

  48. jakebarnes

    Fuck her. She doesn’t deserve shit. You know how when a violent crime is committed on the news and all the black people get mad if the perp is black? They say it makes them look bad? Well I bet the one-legged population is pissed.

  49. Randall

    Heather, dear, do not fret. I think you look ravishing, still… even after your lovetorn turn with Sir Paul who obviously took your lovely self to the cleaners.

    Your suit, your hair… stunning. Fabulous! And your little princess will be well looked after, I am certain. You still have the strong support of all us believers backing you in your valid claims. How strong a woman you are!

    All the best and every success. Stay strong.


  50. Obama

    You are ready for real change, Auntie.

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