Heather Locklear wears a see through skirt

August 24th, 2006 // 78 Comments

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Heather Locklear was spotted closing her trunk on Tuesday wearing a see through skirt. Although calling the skirt see through is a bit misleading since you can only make out a silhouette and can’t actually see through it. What wouldn’t be misleading though is saying she looks like a cartoon villain in the above shots. All she needs is a giant bag with a money symbol on it and a mustache to twirl.


  1. Sir Psycho Sexy

    Nice legs, but the face is looking kinda’ harsh.

  2. Chef

    I hope my ass looks that good when I’m 80.

  3. alaskanchicsickle

    The face is bit harsh and take a gander at the waddles on her neck.

  4. It totally looks like she just came out of a major Botox session and thus cannot move her face at all

  5. monkeychild

    No ass, chicken legs, old leathery face = NO HOT. Sorry. Her days are over. Now she dates the Spademeister.

  6. Yeah, she’s starting to get that old woman doughiness…too bad, so sad.

  7. Star Maker Machinery

    Is she wearing a Kabuki mask? She’d look much better with a natural face that matches her corpse neck. Nice bod tho.

  8. ToiletDuck

    Oh, this is the best EVER!!!! I thought a saw a little swatch of pube underneath…

  9. RichPort

    I’d hit that. Hard and repeatedly. I’d hit that until the Botox wore off and she could actually raise her eyebrows in climactic ecstasy. But only if she let me call her Sammy Jo… then I’d feel like I’m 12 again, this time without the Jergens and people banging on the bathroom door asking if I was done yet.

  10. ToiletDuck

    I’d like to plant my mouth firmly on her dirty asshole…

  11. Someone seriously needs to give this photog a raise. Excellent work!

  12. Dory

    #2 DITTO. I have to work damn hard to keep mine looking decent in my 20′s let alone her age

  13. Nimuë LaMer

    Murphy Brown called, she wants her neck back.

  14. Giggles

    EXCUSE ME, forget the joker face, but EVERYONE seems to have overlooked that she’s going commando here.

  15. alaskanchicsickle

    Trust me, that wasn’t overlooked.

  16. first it’s lohan with the granny panties.. now it’s grandma locklear going commando. time to mail out more celebrity funderpants i guess haha. now where did i put my address book?


  17. I see London
    I see France
    I see Heathers gorgeous ass

  18. strong

    @ #8 . I’m guessing pubes are out of the question for dirty heather. Is it me or does she look more like a mischievous gremlin than a cartoon villain

  19. jimmythefish

    Oh mygods! The skirts is seesthrough! Where Spade? Where Spade!?

  20. hav-a-tampa

    would you look at the GAP between those Legs.!
    who cares about the kneck, you wont be looking at from the front anyway.

  21. AmberDextrose

    Is that the Man United logo tattooed on her ankle? Well I’ll be danged! Classy chick.

  22. c1ndy

    I’m glad someone else noticed the chv tattoo

  23. lomies

    Now how is it possible that Heather’s ass and thighs are looking about a billion times better than Lindsay’s?

  24. BarbadoSlim

    Holy crap it’s Aunt Petunia, and I just saw her gigantic World War II parachute underpants!!


  25. jrzmommy

    wow if she doesn’t look like Catherine O’Hara…

    um, whatever Heather, Princess Di did this back in ’81. go marry another 200 year old heavy metal has been

  26. al rarow

    That is some grade A prime booty fillet.

  27. nc72

    Man that’s a butterface. Best served from behind…


  28. The Juice

    Shit! she does look like Cathrine O’Hara. Or maybe it’s a deranged bunny rabbit. In anycase, time is a tickeeen for her!

  29. I have to admit her face does look like Botox attacked her in the middle of the night, and in a panic she threw on the first available articles of clothing to escape.


  30. Stupid girls do this all the time. But I have to ask, how old is she???

  31. jrzmommy

    “What? You can see my ass? stop taking pictures, give me that fil….. do you think Richie and Denise will see these pictures?”

  32. missmaiden

    is it just me or doesn’t she look like the little girl from Poltergeist. i believe her name was heather too..hmmm

  33. Bioplant

    Heather Locklear, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears – all on the first page.


  34. jrzmommy

    33-Heather O’Rourke. yep. she does look like her. creepy.

  35. DancingQueen

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, time is really hard on women. She’s still in great shap from the neck down. That waddle she’s got going looks like my grandma Elsie’s and trust me, that ain’t pretty!

  36. FirstTimeLongTime

    #5 — I could not agree more. Anyone who thinks she’s hot is obviously into grandma porn.

  37. ms_wayne

    Not too bad for oldielocks, you must admit

  38. beanncheese

    Is that Heather or Joan Rivers?


  39. dupababy

    hi ho! miss leatherskin locklear ain’t lookin’ her normal supertrashtastical self.. it’s probably from banging david treespade.. that shit rubs off you know.. fugly goes into fugly exactly 3.66666 times.. it’s a fact only the stingiest cpa’s know about..


  40. Nikk The Templar

    That facial expression is priceless.

  41. ob1

    What’s up with the prison tattoo on her leg?

    I’m glad to see papahotnuts.com has really taken off.

    What exactly is the definition of COMING SOON?

  42. hmmmm….not really all that interesting, unless you count the turkey waddle on her neck.

  43. As with everything involving people who have “handlers” this is calculated. If this follows the Hollywood way, a pictorial in Playboy is up next. Just as soon as the ink is dry on the divorce. Heather, feeling her age, losing her man to a “friend” and younger woman, dating David Spade, will need to “reassert herself”. And for those who make snide remarks about her age or comparisons to Heather O’Rourke and Catherine O’Hara, don’t worry. The magicians at Playboy will make her look just like Sammy Jo. You’ll open her spread and be transported back to 1984 all over again. The penny that takes you back to present day being her bald beav.

  44. RichPort

    #46 Sweet! I’m going to get some Jergens now, and replacing the lock on my bathroom door…

  45. Oh My god! Look at that Hagoriffic neck!!! She looks like she should be trapping little children inside her Gingerbread house before eating them.

    On a side note, I saw the FULL Nichole Ritchie annorexia pics. You won’t believe them!!! Go here and scan all the way down, you have to see the legs.

  46. reenie11

    Thats NOT Heather, thats Priscella Presley in a blonde wig. Same face at least.

  47. ToiletDuck

    After seeing that ass, I just KNOW she sucked off Aaron Spelling so she could get onto Dynasty, I just fucking KNOW it!!!!!!!!! Nobody could resist that little audition coming in the door…Little Sammy Ho…

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