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Heather Locklear was spotted closing her trunk on Tuesday wearing a see through skirt. Although calling the skirt see through is a bit misleading since you can only make out a silhouette and can’t actually see through it. What wouldn’t be misleading though is saying she looks like a cartoon villain in the above shots. All she needs is a giant bag with a money symbol on it and a mustache to twirl.























Sir Psycho Sexy | August 24, 2006 at 5:28 pm
Nice legs, but the face is looking kinda’ harsh.
Chef | August 24, 2006 at 5:31 pm
I hope my ass looks that good when I’m 80.
alaskanchicsickle | August 24, 2006 at 5:31 pm
The face is bit harsh and take a gander at the waddles on her neck.
Jenna | August 24, 2006 at 5:32 pm
It totally looks like she just came out of a major Botox session and thus cannot move her face at all
monkeychild | August 24, 2006 at 5:40 pm
No ass, chicken legs, old leathery face = NO HOT. Sorry. Her days are over. Now she dates the Spademeister.
Rocknrope | August 24, 2006 at 5:40 pm
Yeah, she’s starting to get that old woman doughiness…too bad, so sad.
Star Maker Machinery | August 24, 2006 at 6:00 pm
Is she wearing a Kabuki mask? She’d look much better with a natural face that matches her corpse neck. Nice bod tho.
ToiletDuck | August 24, 2006 at 6:03 pm
Oh, this is the best EVER!!!! I thought a saw a little swatch of pube underneath…
RichPort | August 24, 2006 at 6:07 pm
I’d hit that. Hard and repeatedly. I’d hit that until the Botox wore off and she could actually raise her eyebrows in climactic ecstasy. But only if she let me call her Sammy Jo… then I’d feel like I’m 12 again, this time without the Jergens and people banging on the bathroom door asking if I was done yet.
ToiletDuck | August 24, 2006 at 6:10 pm
I’d like to plant my mouth firmly on her dirty asshole…
fro0ty | August 24, 2006 at 6:38 pm
Ohh yeah :P id tap that ass!
http://www.playpacman.net/sonic
Chodite | August 24, 2006 at 6:48 pm
Someone seriously needs to give this photog a raise. Excellent work!
**
http://cooterpunch.blogspot.com
Dory | August 24, 2006 at 6:55 pm
#2 DITTO. I have to work damn hard to keep mine looking decent in my 20′s let alone her age
Nimuë LaMer | August 24, 2006 at 6:57 pm
Murphy Brown called, she wants her neck back.
Giggles | August 24, 2006 at 7:10 pm
EXCUSE ME, forget the joker face, but EVERYONE seems to have overlooked that she’s going commando here.
alaskanchicsickle | August 24, 2006 at 7:37 pm
Trust me, that wasn’t overlooked.
Adult Underoos | August 24, 2006 at 7:41 pm
first it’s lohan with the granny panties.. now it’s grandma locklear going commando. time to mail out more celebrity funderpants i guess haha. now where did i put my address book?
http://www.funderpants.com
ImSuicidal | August 24, 2006 at 7:59 pm
I see London
I see France
I see Heathers gorgeous ass
strong | August 24, 2006 at 11:53 pm
@ #8 . I’m guessing pubes are out of the question for dirty heather. Is it me or does she look more like a mischievous gremlin than a cartoon villain
jimmythefish | August 24, 2006 at 11:55 pm
Oh mygods! The skirts is seesthrough! Where Spade? Where Spade!?
hav-a-tampa | August 25, 2006 at 12:02 am
would you look at the GAP between those Legs.!
who cares about the kneck, you wont be looking at from the front anyway.
AmberDextrose | August 25, 2006 at 1:22 am
Is that the Man United logo tattooed on her ankle? Well I’ll be danged! Classy chick.
c1ndy | August 25, 2006 at 2:31 am
I’m glad someone else noticed the chv tattoo
lomies | August 25, 2006 at 2:39 am
Now how is it possible that Heather’s ass and thighs are looking about a billion times better than Lindsay’s?
BarbadoSlim | August 25, 2006 at 3:57 am
Holy crap it’s Aunt Petunia, and I just saw her gigantic World War II parachute underpants!!
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww.
jrzmommy | August 25, 2006 at 5:17 am
wow if she doesn’t look like Catherine O’Hara…
um, whatever Heather, Princess Di did this back in ’81. go marry another 200 year old heavy metal has been
al rarow | August 25, 2006 at 6:00 am
That is some grade A prime booty fillet.
nc72 | August 25, 2006 at 6:10 am
Man that’s a butterface. Best served from behind…
http://www.exposay.com/heather-locklear/1/c/914/
The Juice | August 25, 2006 at 6:28 am
Shit! she does look like Cathrine O’Hara. Or maybe it’s a deranged bunny rabbit. In anycase, time is a tickeeen for her!
HolisticWisdomcom | August 25, 2006 at 6:40 am
I have to admit her face does look like Botox attacked her in the middle of the night, and in a panic she threw on the first available articles of clothing to escape.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
sirokai | August 25, 2006 at 6:48 am
Stupid girls do this all the time. But I have to ask, how old is she???
jrzmommy | August 25, 2006 at 6:56 am
“What? You can see my ass? stop taking pictures, give me that fil….. do you think Richie and Denise will see these pictures?”
missmaiden | August 25, 2006 at 6:58 am
is it just me or doesn’t she look like the little girl from Poltergeist. i believe her name was heather too..hmmm
sharkbite | August 25, 2006 at 7:04 am
It could be worse.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
Bioplant | August 25, 2006 at 7:25 am
Heather Locklear, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears – all on the first page.
HIT THE FUCKING LIGHTS, BABY, BECAUSE IT’S BONER TIME!!!!!!
CelebSlam.com | August 25, 2006 at 7:26 am
skanktastic!
http://www.celebslam.com
jrzmommy | August 25, 2006 at 7:37 am
33-Heather O’Rourke. yep. she does look like her. creepy.
DancingQueen | August 25, 2006 at 8:05 am
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, time is really hard on women. She’s still in great shap from the neck down. That waddle she’s got going looks like my grandma Elsie’s and trust me, that ain’t pretty!
FirstTimeLongTime | August 25, 2006 at 8:07 am
#5 — I could not agree more. Anyone who thinks she’s hot is obviously into grandma porn.
ms_wayne | August 25, 2006 at 8:20 am
Not too bad for oldielocks, you must admit
beanncheese | August 25, 2006 at 8:20 am
Is that Heather or Joan Rivers?
http://www.spoonspam.com
dupababy | August 25, 2006 at 8:42 am
hi ho! miss leatherskin locklear ain’t lookin’ her normal supertrashtastical self.. it’s probably from banging david treespade.. that shit rubs off you know.. fugly goes into fugly exactly 3.66666 times.. it’s a fact only the stingiest cpa’s know about..
http://www.stingybitches.com/Stingy%20CPA.html
Nikk The Templar | August 25, 2006 at 9:13 am
That facial expression is priceless.
ob1 | August 25, 2006 at 9:18 am
What’s up with the prison tattoo on her leg?
I’m glad to see papahotnuts.com has really taken off.
What exactly is the definition of COMING SOON?
dmarie | August 25, 2006 at 9:24 am
hmmmm….not really all that interesting, unless you count the turkey waddle on her neck.
UNWASHEDMASSES | August 25, 2006 at 9:26 am
As with everything involving people who have “handlers” this is calculated. If this follows the Hollywood way, a pictorial in Playboy is up next. Just as soon as the ink is dry on the divorce. Heather, feeling her age, losing her man to a “friend” and younger woman, dating David Spade, will need to “reassert herself”. And for those who make snide remarks about her age or comparisons to Heather O’Rourke and Catherine O’Hara, don’t worry. The magicians at Playboy will make her look just like Sammy Jo. You’ll open her spread and be transported back to 1984 all over again. The penny that takes you back to present day being her bald beav.
RichPort | August 25, 2006 at 9:31 am
#46 Sweet! I’m going to get some Jergens now, and replacing the lock on my bathroom door…
Spindoc | August 25, 2006 at 9:33 am
Oh My god! Look at that Hagoriffic neck!!! She looks like she should be trapping little children inside her Gingerbread house before eating them.
On a side note, I saw the FULL Nichole Ritchie annorexia pics. You won’t believe them!!! Go here and scan all the way down, you have to see the legs.
http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/exclusives/nicole_richie_can_dish_it_but_she_cant_take_it_20060820.php
reenie11 | August 25, 2006 at 10:40 am
Thats NOT Heather, thats Priscella Presley in a blonde wig. Same face at least.
ToiletDuck | August 25, 2006 at 10:44 am
After seeing that ass, I just KNOW she sucked off Aaron Spelling so she could get onto Dynasty, I just fucking KNOW it!!!!!!!!! Nobody could resist that little audition coming in the door…Little Sammy Ho…