Heather Locklear arrested for DUI

By: The Superficial / September 28, 2008

Heather Locklear was arrested by the California Highway Patrol for suspicion of driving under the influence of a controlled substance. She was picked up in Montecito after someone called 911 to report an erratic driver. The LA Times reports:

Locklear showed bizarre behavior, driving back and forth over a pair of sunglasses on the pavement and revving her engine. After leaving the parking lot, she stopped her car on the street and stumbled into the traffic lane, according to the caller, who followed Locklear out of concern, Marshall said.
When the CHP officer arrived, Locklear’s car was parked on State Route 192 partially blocking a lane, Marshall said. The officer talked to her and determined that she was disoriented and “under the influence of something.” She was taken to the CHP’s Santa Barbara-area office to be tested for alcohol and drugs.
Locklear tested negative for alcohol. Other drug tests will be returned in a few days, Marshall said.

Judging by her mugshot, there’s no way Heather Locklear will even realize she’s been arrested until at least Wednesday – of next week. On that note, I’m convinced she’s either trying to steal my soul or order a pizza telepathically. What’s that, Drug-Face? I don’t think “Denise Richards is a gaping whore” counts as a topping. But I’ll ask.