Heather Locklear arrested for DUI

September 28th, 2008 // 55 Comments

Heather Locklear was arrested by the California Highway Patrol for suspicion of driving under the influence of a controlled substance. She was picked up in Montecito after someone called 911 to report an erratic driver. The LA Times reports:

Locklear showed bizarre behavior, driving back and forth over a pair of sunglasses on the pavement and revving her engine. After leaving the parking lot, she stopped her car on the street and stumbled into the traffic lane, according to the caller, who followed Locklear out of concern, Marshall said.
When the CHP officer arrived, Locklear’s car was parked on State Route 192 partially blocking a lane, Marshall said. The officer talked to her and determined that she was disoriented and “under the influence of something.” She was taken to the CHP’s Santa Barbara-area office to be tested for alcohol and drugs.
Locklear tested negative for alcohol. Other drug tests will be returned in a few days, Marshall said.

Judging by her mugshot, there’s no way Heather Locklear will even realize she’s been arrested until at least Wednesday – of next week. On that note, I’m convinced she’s either trying to steal my soul or order a pizza telepathically. What’s that, Drug-Face? I don’t think “Denise Richards is a gaping whore” counts as a topping. But I’ll ask.


  1. brittney gean

    this is how the arrest went:


    p= m’am you know why i pulled you over??
    h=nop, why tell me why??
    p=m’am you surved back and forth out of the free way
    h=i can explain, see what had happen was i was trying to balance my beer and drive while screaming at my ex for leaving me for that stuiid bitch denise richardson,,, that lesbian hiv whore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    p=m’am sep out of the vechicle please
    h= fuck you pig… i am heather the super blonde bitch!!!
    p= that’s it i am taking you in!!!
    h=noooooooo, what will the media say, omg my makeup totally ruined….. i have a hair comercial,,, if i don’t tell woman to color their hair blonde like me, than who will tell them…. tell me who!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    p=that’s it i am taking you

    p=alright guys i got mrs. locklear here for her mug shot!
    p=alright you drunk ass smile
    h=okay i am going, but please make me look like brittney spears, i not that innocent… i will half smile… cheeks!
    p=alright you drunk ass blonde in the jail cell
    h= okay but call richie he’ll come for me……….
    p= no phone calls for drunks

    and that is what really happend!

  2. Just_As_it_is

    The picture makes me want to go and hug her, give her love, get her out of the hole she’s in, and live with her happily ever after. She is desperate for affection and care. I’d be more than happy to do that. Plus, she is smoking hot despite what everyone says.

    Think of how many people do the same everyday, have had much worse lives, and don’t have their picture made public in celebrity gossip sites. What makes any of the rest any better.

  3. latin@s

    just as it is, go fuck your dick

  4. letter from the founder

    i still thinks she looks pretty in that picture!

  5. letter from the founder

    i still think she looks pretty in that picture!

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