I thought it was a sick joke, but now we’ve got a first hand account of the madness that is Heather Locklear and David Spade’s relationship. Reader Pete writes in:
I saw it with my own eyes. Last night at Arnie Morton’s restaurant in Burbank, Spade and Locklear were making out in a booth while three of their friends looked on. But dig this: SHE was all over HIM!! My $36 double cut filet nearly came back up on me. Yikes!!
There has to be more to this that I’m just not seeing. It’s physically impossible for a woman like Heather Locklear to be attracted to David Spade. It’d be like a beautiful swan falling in love with a monkey. Only the monkey is short. And ugly. And all the other monkeys hate him because he tells bad jokes and looks like a rodent. And maybe eats his own poo.
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You seem to really know a lot about those type of girls. Art School girls? Goth chicks? What’s the matter, been turned down by them? They wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire? Don’t worry, theres a girl out there for you. Some haven’t broken out yet, though, i know
Yah monkey that love stuff is great and all but this is Hollywood, and we’re talking about Heather Locklear, (who dated Tommy Lee for got sakes) I give them 2 months.
Ok, first Jerry Oconnell gets a beautiful woman, and now this Super Dork – I thought it was amasing how he landed the ” Captial One” Commericals, but now this?! What can it be that causes this beautiful woman to fall in love with the frog, that might never become a prince? Maybe he tells sad Chris Farley stories…? WHAT,WHAT,WHAT is it? Why would a woman down grade like this? Its 2006, everyone upgrades EVERYTHING, why should your man be any different!?
SHE IS WAY GROSSER THAN HIM!