Hayden Panettiere’s new music video may have broken my crush, wait, are those panties?! Ignore everything I just said.

July 16th, 2008 // 145 Comments

Hayden Panettiere (seen here at last night’s ESPY awards) dropped her new music video “Wake Up Call” today, and I’ll be the first to admit the song is fucking clown shoes. That said, I definitely saw Hayden’s panties in the video, so who do I speak to about getting this thing an Oscar? It’s hands down the greatest visual experience I’ve had since that time I watched BBC’s Planet Earth on acid – which was this morning. On a related note, I’m a wombat.

Photos: Splash News

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  1. Dave

    i like how she puts on leather and breaks into rap at about 2:36, and i thought, wow, that girl is sooooo hardcore and tough. hahaa.
    what a joke. we couldnt stop laughing at this song. she basically is WEARING MORE MAKEUP THAN CLOTHING, writhing around trying to be sexy. at like what…..17???? Any any any fleeting thought i have had at her being kinda hot is GONE, and has been replaced by this image i have a of a troll doll who thinks just because she got herself on a tv show, she suddenly has talent that is worthwhile. another vapid airhead idiot bimbo who should go back out and save the dolphins or do something useful with her otherwise USELESS time. not hot.

  2. I would love to put my beer ontop of her dumpy little head.

  3. McFlabwobble

    Why the fuck is the site playing rap music???? I can’t turn it off.

  4. Captain Obvious

    Where are dem panties? Do I have to watch the whole damn thing to see them?

  5. Boomba CloT!!

    Who the fuck does she think she is Ziggy Marley?

  6. Mad Pixie

    Kill the cheerleader, save my ears!

  7. ET

    Horrible.

  8. “Wake Up Call” is the title?

    Did she steal anything else from Maroon 5 recently?

  9. Sam

    My god, between the dolphin-face pictures and the “second career in music” I finally realized: Hayden is Scarlett Johansson’s Mini Me.

  10. Pinbacker

    Is that really her voice? Moronic lyrics, being a conniving bitch is cool?

  11. #56 – LOLOLOL

  12. Anonymous

    “Fucking clown shoes”

    Best line/description I’ve heard in a long time. Many thanks.

  13. Lamby

    Too much cheek meat

  14. Lamby

    I just listened to the music…
    …total drunk-girl karaoke.

    she’s like an even poorer man’s Jessica Simpson

  15. GinaRae

    God this sounds sooo much like that Paris Hilton song. Hayden why?!!?!?!? God you had me but I’m out the door now. Christ almighty.

  16. Björn

    Sounds like Paris Hilton.

  17. aaakMyearsAreBleeding

    It’s a sad day when you record a song so bad you can make Paris Hilton’s and Heidi Montag’s music sound decent in comparison. Ugh!

  18. Christopher

    Mmmm, brunette Hayden much better…

    The song blows goat dick, but she’s actually not a bad singer. Of course, I don’t know how much of that is post-production.

  19. you pimply-faced losers

    All you losers pecking away from your mom’s basement should go ahead and admit that you would kiss her bunghole if given the chance. As it is, you can keep dreaming about the day a girl doesn’t freak out and run away when you touch her with your scrawny girlish hands

  20. Paola

    Wow! That was the the worst fucking thing I’ve ever heard! She ca’nt sing and she can barely act.

    #59-Haha! Scarlett Johanssons Mini-Me! Thats great!

  21. Kara

    51. Dave at 4:33 PM you are the awesome….she is wearing more makeup than clothes. I am going to have to use that one for other girls.

    But yeah, am I supposed to be learning how to be a tramp now? Or are the 12 year olds supposed to be learning how to be tramps now?

  22. Cobi

    I read she LOVE anal action.

  23. Miserable Bastard

    I refuse to listen to it and/or watch the video to confirm my suspicion, but I can’t help imagining that her singing voice sounds like Alvin from the Chipmunks.

  24. albert

    bad haircut. I mean in the last row of pics she looks like a little boy.

  25. MY GOD THATS 4 MINUTES OF TORTURE! WHY DO YOU HATE ME SUPERFISH?

  26. brooke

    This girl’s facial expressions are so contrived.
    And is a sad attempt at gwen stefani/no doubt style music.
    booooorring

  27. My Ears are bleeding

    5 Steps to a music video;

    Step one – Press play on keyboard demo ‘island sounds’
    Step two – Hire room, pretend its a club
    Step three- put ‘artist’ in generic poses
    Step four – Ignore the fact it sounds like Paris Hiltons rubbish
    Step five – insert $ contact lenses and run to bank

  28. sadly_limp

    My erection just wilted after watching that.

  29. hypocrack

    Ok first, why do i keep thinking of the paris hilton video, i would rather watch hayden rolling around on a beach…on mute of course.

    Second, did that chick just rub vagasil on her teeth? WTF is wrong with these young stars

  30. Rome

    The song fucking sucks. Same goes for the video.

    Blech. She even looks much much prettier in the photos posted here than in the video.

  31. granada

    What the hell is Elgydium? It’s the stuff she rubs on her gums.

  32. wanks

    i can’t decide which videos are worse…paris, hayden, or heidi

    hmmmm they all suck

  33. Caitlin

    I have this theory that people look the most attractive that they ever will in music videos, but somehow Hayden has terribly blown this. Were they trying to make her look ten years older? And does anyone else think she sounds like a ten-year-old?

  34. Who Cares

    Oh God, the worst crap ever. That song sucksssssssssssssss big time

  35. Tylor

    hahahaha, she’s a fuller, yet midget version of freaking Paris Hilton.

    at least her voice is.

  36. R

    If I hadn’t known this was her, I would have easily confused her with Ashlee Simpson or Heidi Montag.

    That was solidly 4 wasted minutes of my life I will never get back.

  37. budwhiet

    I just feel a little strange that someone is keeping saying some celebrities and rich men joined the famous affairs site !!!***SugarDaddyconnect . c o m.. Did you notice that? absolutely a rumor!

  38. Flavio

    seriously, why would you encourage people who want to see a hot chick in her underwear to watch that piece of crap? you saw panties in there? um, ok. I won’t even comment on the “music”, obviously there was no chance this was going to be good. but for real, don’t say there’s panties when there aren’t any. that’s just wrong.

  39. $Sue$

    Yeah I want my time back I am gonna get a lawyer.

  40. Elgydium is a French toothpaste… because when I think of nice teeth, I think of France?

  41. Andrew

    So shit, she’s fine as hell, but I’d hardly count that as a panty shot, from the side and you couldn’t even see her whole body. shame shame

  42. britney's weave

    when will these stupid celebrities understand that just because you can, DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD. i hope she reads these comments (or finds them somewhere–ANYWHERE–else) and is completely humiliated. it’s completely self-indulgent bullshit.

  43. MP

    HAHAHAHAHA, #56 is the comment of the day! Seriously, this makes that time I shoved razor blades under my fingernails feel good.

  44. Sounds like the Paris Hilton song. Hayden, Lindsay, and Paris should embark on the worst tour ever. This is like the gateway-release to a Tila Tequila double-album. I wonder if H.P. and Miley Cyrus are already signing contracts for Surreal Life 2018?

  45. J@cko

    This is what they show to soldiers to train them to withstand torture.
    I heard some of the toughest one started weeping after the first 30 seconds.

  46. Khirschy Squirts

    I’ve been drinking but it seemed like the beat was a little slow. Yawn.

  47. kj

    Damn.

    I was hoping for a witty bit of self parody of her social status as the new hollywood hottie. Instead we get a generic, melodically-nauseating, whorish-looking woman in a club with all her fake friends bitching about a guy.

    Way to pave your own path, Hayden!

    “You don’t buy me drinks.”

    Uh…that’s probably because you’re underage and the guy would prefer not to get arrested.

    What the hell is this shit anyway? New Reggae Dance Pop? Ugh. It really is a mess. To quote the angry video game nerd: “it’s like shit taking a shit”. Then again, I never listen to the radio anymore. The video style could not possibly have matched the song less. I’m sure it’ll be a big hit given how retarded shit like “soldier boy” and “my humps” can make it to the top of the charts.

    Still, she’s already a better singer than britney.

    Though that’s not saying much.

  48. alex cutter

    You don’t hear the word “recently” in song lyrics nearly enough.

  49. they should not have used that forehead lens

  50. I Weep For The Future

    Wow. Like everyone else said, there’s no better way to describe that than “clown shoes”. Her boyfriend reportedly threw the chick from Gilmore Girls onto the ground and called her a cunt in the middle of New York back when they were dating. Now, I don’t follow Ms. Gilmore’s career or personal life, but I highly doubt she’s done anything as shitty as this.

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