Hayden Panettiere (seen here at last night’s ESPY awards) dropped her new music video “Wake Up Call” today, and I’ll be the first to admit the song is fucking clown shoes. That said, I definitely saw Hayden’s panties in the video, so who do I speak to about getting this thing an Oscar? It’s hands down the greatest visual experience I’ve had since that time I watched BBC’s Planet Earth on acid – which was this morning. On a related note, I’m a wombat.
Photos: Splash News
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Craig | July 16, 2008 at 3:10 pm
First!
sljfs | July 16, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Music video? Is every asshat out there a singer now?
Sportsdvl | July 16, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Since when do they let midgets sing?
Oh, #1 – seriously, get a life.
#2 – yes, every asshat (great word by the way) thinks they can sing. I’m sure she’ll put out a duet album with Heidi Montag next.
mamadough | July 16, 2008 at 3:12 pm
great floppy pancake boobs.
Joe Mama | July 16, 2008 at 3:13 pm
I hope she does a duet with Hiro Nakamura!
therandygoat | July 16, 2008 at 3:14 pm
“I think I’m gonna have to cheat, to finally get your eyes on me? Gonna have to make you jealous…”
My girlfriend is never hearing this song. This is an evil, evil song. Why did Hayden have to end up like another diva bitch?
is the real estate on your forhead for sale? | July 16, 2008 at 3:14 pm
She looks like her ginormous forheaded father in drag
A | July 16, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Wow, she’s very pretty. Her nose is kinda weird though. Never heard any of her songs.
Jalone | July 16, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Look at that big tacky ring on her finger. That thing could choke a horse
Sportsdvl | July 16, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Ok, just wasted 3 1/2 minutes to watch the shitty video (time in my life I’ll never get back) and what this bitch makes Heidi Montag sound like Whitney Houston. STUPID STUPID song!
p0nk | July 16, 2008 at 3:19 pm
she’s wearing panties? she’s too old to land a disney contract, even if she is only 4′ tall.
WOW OMG!!! | July 16, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I HIGHLY doubt she ever has to try to get someones attention. she could probably get just about anyone to date her. ad why would she write this song if shes engaged? nevermind. the idea of her writing a song is ridiculous
rebecc | July 16, 2008 at 3:20 pm
wow that whore has on so much make-up
Sam | July 16, 2008 at 3:20 pm
She looks like a stripper who was put in the dryer at high heat for way too long.
Caset Playa | July 16, 2008 at 3:21 pm
why does the beat sound like paris hilton’s songs, which was a remake of another song about beaches or something in the 80s.
Rod | July 16, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Fucking WOW. I actually laughed out loud when that Reggae beat started. Hats off to you, Fish. I honestly can’t think of a better descriptor than “clown shoes.”
Oh, and #6, I wholly agree. Typical little slut.
therandygoat | July 16, 2008 at 3:22 pm
On a side note: Hayden with black hair is a proper bloodpumper. No wonder her boyfriend looks twice. I actually threw up a bit when I found out it was a wig. Then I roundhouse-kicked the nearest blonde, which happened to be my grandmother. Odd, she is usually never in the basement.
Ted from LA | July 16, 2008 at 3:23 pm
#3,
Since 1939.
haydenscarlettheidijenniferlovehewittETC. | July 16, 2008 at 3:24 pm
this is almost as good as vanessa hudgen’s video for “sneakernight.” if you don’t know what im talking about, youtube it. its more shiteous than this however it’s more entertaining.
anyways… yeah. this is fucking terrible.
Drunken Sot | July 16, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Jeezus…I thought I was being water boarded there for a minute.
Maybe if she took her panties off and stuffed them in her mouth it would be a more interesting video.
It's Britney Bitches | July 16, 2008 at 3:27 pm
the Fish sounds hot. I would drop acid with him TONIGHT.
A Lollipop Kid | July 16, 2008 at 3:29 pm
~18
Best post of the day.
jon | July 16, 2008 at 3:29 pm
this little fuck-tart will be in serious shit when she stops looking like a teeny bopper. Can she really have a career in hollywood when she hits late 20′s? don’t think so.
Sell Porn Make Money | July 16, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Wish she would have dropped her dress instead of the new video
Rick | July 16, 2008 at 3:30 pm
I thought it was pretty hot until I spotted the Disney characters on her panties.
therandygoat | July 16, 2008 at 3:32 pm
I’d love to see Justin Timberlake sing about how he is gonna cheat on his girlfriend because she isn’t giving him constant attention. It’s like every female singer today wants to educate girls in how to be a proper tramp.
“Yo man izzint buyin yu shit and makin enuf monneyh? Get it on with all dem playaz in the cluuubs! You earned it guurl! GUURLPOWER!”
I guess “Why don’t you sit him down and talk a bit and resolve your differences, making you both stronger individuals and better partners” doesn’t make as “catchy” a lyric.
rm | July 16, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Anyone else think she looks like Angelina in pic 8?
DB | July 16, 2008 at 3:36 pm
I want to die.
therandygoat | July 16, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Oh, and mr. Fish; good choice with the drugs and Planet Earth move. Not many things can compete with intense crying over how beautiful cave rocks are at 5am on a tuesday.
Jumpin_J | July 16, 2008 at 3:39 pm
She looks like she wants to be Jessica Alba with 1/3 less talent, if that’s possible. Either that or she’s turning into an orange.
therandygoat | July 16, 2008 at 3:40 pm
#27 – I was thinking Jessica Alba and Jolie’s lovechild.
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | July 16, 2008 at 3:40 pm
This is destined for the bargain bin… right next to Lohan’s “rumors”, Hilton’s “Stars Are Blind” and “My Pants Are Cocked and I’m Ready to Shoot” by, er, well, um… me. I swear they fucked up my marketing on that shit, because it coulda been a classic… same beat too.
rough daddy | July 16, 2008 at 3:40 pm
i thought short chicks usually have nice racks and plump rumps. id still give her a tongue bath tough,,,the video is awful,,,similar to brookes, lindsay, paris,heidi etc…..
Crazy Old Bitch | July 16, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Here’s good trivia: When Hayden Panettiere filmed episodes of Malcolm in the Middle, the entire studio was formerly a Tom Cruise dildo storage facility. Just one big dildo.
Jerod Cykoski | July 16, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Worst. Song. Ever.
rikki | July 16, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Isn’t this girl like 19? What is she doing in a dance club acting like a tramp?
Randal | July 16, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Welcome to the industry and what a splah you’re making here Hayden. Love the lyrics, very innocent with a sharp edge but … as much as I’d like to enjoy the song, I just can’t.
A woman that needs to resort to such lame attempts at getting a guy to notice her isn’t much of a woman after all.
You my dear Hayden, have a lot of waking up to do yet.
Randal
Daniel | July 16, 2008 at 3:51 pm
I made it 30 seconds in the song! Record anyone? I think so
Captain-Insano | July 16, 2008 at 3:57 pm
#4: Where are the floppy pancake boobs? I watched the video twice (laughing the first time, got nausiated the second), and there’s nary a floppy boob to be seen, pancake or otherwise.
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | July 16, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Wow Randal, you made a huge “splah” with that comment… I mean… it was… negative…
Prof | July 16, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Heard worst, def heard better-Final Analysis: Very cute, inhumanly large forehead, pedo appeal quickly waning since turning 18, she should stick to the acting gig and get naked already.
Sportsdvl | July 16, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Wait a damn minute………. Did Randal just post something that wasn’t 100% in the favor of whatever useless no-talent celeb we are making fun of.
Brian | July 16, 2008 at 3:59 pm
clown shoes for sure
chadisrad | July 16, 2008 at 4:04 pm
wow.. that song is so good!!!!!!!!!!! NOT! christ she sucks
chadisrad | July 16, 2008 at 4:04 pm
wow.. that song is so good!!!!!!!!!!! NOT! christ she sucks
big jerm | July 16, 2008 at 4:09 pm
when is she in her panties. i don’t think i can watch the whole thing.
dew | July 16, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Her voice didn’t seem bad to me; I thought it was adequate for new pop singers which use more dancing and posing than actual singing talent these days (Mariah excluded).
But I think that song was stupid and annoying. If producers are going to put a pretty celeb with average voice in a singing vid, at least give her a song that’s decent.
I think Hayden’s pretty, and I LOVE that orange dress with blue trim. She reminds me of Charlene Tilton, and I hope Hayden watches her diet/exercise regimen better than Charlene did.
A | July 16, 2008 at 4:21 pm
OK guys I will take your word for it on the song. I won’t punish myself and waste time I cannot get back!
Joe | July 16, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Her looks are changing fast – I don’t think she’ll seem attractive when she no longer looks like a child. She’ll be a troll by 30. She really needs to consider porn, right now, before she ends up in the “novelty/fetish” bin.
Que | July 16, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Que holy hell si!