Hayden Panettiere’s dad doesn’t duck battery charges

September 25th, 2008 // 30 Comments

Hayden Panettiere’s father is facing misdemeanor battery chargers after getting in a drunken fight with his wife in August. The incident was described as a “misunderstanding.” Just like the second season of Heroes. ZING! The Associated Press reports:

Alan Panettiere faces up to a year in a Los Angeles County jail if convicted. He was arrested on Aug. 11 on suspicion of striking his wife, Lesley.
At the time, a sheriff’s spokesman said Panettiere was accused of hitting his wife three times with an open hand.

Oh, wow, so you can get arrested for battling your wife even if you’re both shit-faced and don’t want to press charges? Damn. I guess I better take back these baseball bats and bottles of whiskey I got my folks for Christmas. Red Lobster gift cards it is – and okay, throwing knives. I spoil those two; I know.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Que

    Que hawt!

  2. Slut

    Are those “press-on” eyebrows she is wearing?

  3. LawnGnome

    Chicks should never paint on eyebrows. Especially when she is so young.

  4. lol Look @ the superficial writer padding himself on the back for that Heroes Joke…

  5. terry

    she is so cute,do you like to chat with her?
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  6. You know that little midget looks nice here, but she’s missing a pearl necklace

  7. calypso

    I think she used a brown Sharpie on her eyebrows.

  8. I would’nt mind rough- handling those pecs….

  9. Laughing all day

    I love your site, and don’t want to be too serious. But the law is in place so that a battered spouse won’t recant and forgive the next day. Once you call the police about a domestic dispute, the law takes over. Beat up women feel bad when their wife-beaters get all remorseful the next day and tell them they love them and all that shit, and then they don’t want to press charges. Then next payday when wife-beater drank his paycheck again the police are back out to break up the fight. That’s gotta get old, even to the cops…then next thing they know they have a homicide.

  10. what a douche

    Guys like that always fight women, exclusively. It’s because they are cowards and men have humiliated them in fistfights. So they only fight women.

    Total loser. Probably collects a support check from Hayden.

  11. Sarah Palin

    Let’s pray and ensure that our military continues to do what God asks.

    A vote for me is a vote for Christianity.

  12. Amy

    Pray for mimi.

  13. ADo1234

    What the hell is she wearing? Are they re-doing the golden girls show??

  14. friendlyfires

    In Dallas, Texas it’s a third class misdemeanor to slap a woman’s face with an open hand (close it into a ball o’ fist and you’re talkin’ hard time with Huntsville Hind Violators Club). A night in the pokey, up before a judge, six months to a year of Anger Management, the end.

    If the judge has any sense, he’ll have a look see of couple’s history, sentence both to couple’s counseling, anger management and alcohol rehabiliation programs, then yell at them for a bit and threaten they better not be before his courtroom, ” … or it’s the ruler across the palms for the both of you! And may God, in his mercy, save your souls! Recess! Five minutes! Bailiff, where’s my McDonald’s twelve year old scotch?”

  15. Michelle Obama

    My pussy smells like the monkeyhouse at the zoo.

  16. Judge Thompson

    Bailiff! Where’s my penis pump?!

  17. Sarah Palin

    “My pussy smells like the monkeyhouse at the zoo.”

    That’s not bad, mine smells like your breath. What a coincidence.

    In other news, I believe we’ve captured the “clinging to religion & guns” voters!
    Yeehaw! Praise God!

  18. ummm...yeah

    Hey #15 Get some new material asshole prick.

  19. HorribleJudgment

    So I guess now it’s appropriate and okay to go out in public after drawing on your eyebrows with a brown sharpie marker? I was SO not aware of that. Where’s my brown sharpie? I need to fashion myself a mustache and beard.

    Okay so–what’s the deal? He hit his wife and got arrested? Did she hit him too? Not that it matters as far as I’m concerned. As long as his life wasn’t in danger he shouldn’t have hit back. And if the fucking pussy’s life was in danger from a woman hitting him then he’s a massive douche that deserves to be humiliated in jail. But maybe I’ve got it wrong and she didn’t hit him? I dunno.

  20. MassGrrl

    Why does she look like she’s 45yo these days?

  21. HankTheDwarf

    Looks like someone wiped dog shit above both eyes.

    And all over the rest of her face. HEYOOOOO.

  22. HorribleJudgment

    #21, you have outdone me. God damn you.

  23. liz4sale

    shes a cute girl but she wears waaaay to much makeup. total butterface. i just wanna slap her with a baby wipe. but yea, cute girl.

  24. liz

    she just shouldn’t smile.

  25. “you have outdone me”

    Dude, you’ve been outdone millions of times. You just keep typing things onto the internet, then believe them and type them again to reinforce what your mommy taught you. Now go back to whatever you eunochs do. Something similar to chimney cleaning. But onboard some fat, rich gay fags anatomy.


  26. nina

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  27. hi

    when bitches hit first they deserve to be hit back hard.

  28. Air Mail

    She has about the most beautiful eyes I’ve seen.

  29. Oh, Rough Daddy! The guy EVERYBODY hates! Haha! Hmm…funny you would immediately jump to a gay reference…tells us a lot about you. Are you gay? I think you are! And Rough Daddy, aren’t you the guy that everybody saw in the store that day trying to rape that old man?! Oh my God, why would you do such a thing? You poor, poor, lost soul. Your life must be one tragic day after another. :( I can understand why you would be so jealous of me, and wish to outdo me with your sad little “chimney cleaning” comment. Oh, but you never will. You can’t. You simply haven’t got what it takes, you poor sad homosexual. Stay away from those old men, now!

  30. …………………..THEY ARE ALL AMERICAN?

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