Hayden Panettiere saves the whales (But not Jennifer Love Hewitt)

January 28th, 2008 // 81 Comments

Hayden Panettiere, my favorite activist midget, spoke for almost two hours about saving sea life at Dupont Circle in Washington D.C. She didn’t use any notes and picketed traffic with other activists, according to the Washington Post:

“I get that rush and feeling of really making a difference rather than just lending my face to something,” she told us. “I’d rather people pay attention to me doing this than shopping at Fred Segal.” No fear of a Fonda-like backlash? “We’re saving magnificent animals. I don’t think anyone objects to that. I don’t trust people who don’t love animals.”

That reminds me, I saw Hayden’s boyfriend Milo Ventimiglia shoot a whale with a machine gun the other day. Yeah, seriously. Then he ate some non-dolphin-safe tuna and, uh, kicked a crab. Right in the claw. True story. As for me, I freaking love animals. Just yesterday I rescued a unicorn from the pound then rode down the beach helping baby seals find their mothers. Afterwards, to demonstrate my love of the sea, I made out with a mermaid. Or a manatee with a wig. Either way, I’ll never go back to land-dwelling women again.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. p0nk

    save the whales, harpoon a cheerleader.

  2. FIRST you worthless cunts

  3. @3 You are the only worthless cunt here troll..

    Shouldn’t Hayden be more concerned about saving midgets??

  4. Hayden

    BE pretentious.

    B-E pretentious.

  5. Rat

    Eat The Whales!

  6. Jell-0 shot

    Save Britney, the sperm whale.

  7. Hey FRIST – you’re short and bottom heavy just like Hayden! Except in her case it looks good.

  8. kitty_kat

    Attention whore.

  9. my comment

    Does the brainless midget think her UGGS boots came from the UGGS tree?

  10. Guy

    Hahaha…

    The other protesters are looking her like they are thinking, “Excuse me, wtf are you doing?”

  11. BunnyButt

    “No fear of a Fonda-like backlash?”

    The collective IQ of the Washington Post must’ve slipped a bit if they’re equating Hayden and her bit of animal rights activity with Hanoi Jane …

  12. Guy

    “We’re saving magnificent animals. I don’t think anyone objects to that. ”

    How about the people who hunt whales?

  13. Way to pick the most needy group in the world… and hold a sign for them. She should do playboy and donate the million dollars to the whales so they can get off welfare. This will also benefit me.

    http://theunsoberlife.com

  14. @3 You are the only worthless cunt here troll..

    Shouldn’t Hayden be more concerned about saving midgets??

  15. Umm ..

    So, she’s very concerned with the whales – great!

    But, she’s wearing Ugg boots, which essentially are a sheep that has been killed and turned inside out.

    Does this seem rather hypocritical to anyone else??

  16. Hayden, call me

    Clearly she’s hungry for the BIG cocks.

  17. Lookingoutforthelittleones

    Superficial man, I think you’re just great. My understanding is that you will not resort to any type of slur, racial or otherwise. That’s why I think you should know that the term “midget” is actually extremely offensive, and is pretty much the short-person equivalent of the N-word. The preferred generic term is “little person.” Don’t know if you care, but I thought you should know.

  18. JLH

    You know, a lot of those whales are a size 2, but naturalists always take invasive pictures from bad angles.

  19. gotmilk?

    save the whales & then i’ll get into my porsche cayenne while i’m wearing my sheep skin boots!

    animal rights? give me a break!

    yes #16, but the sad part is that she didn’t give it one thought when she got dressed that morning.

  20. lipper

    GOD help us from the overly sensitive freaks who come to a site where its obviously MADE for slamming everyone and their grandma’s panties. I mean seriously, go talk to someone who gives a shit.

    SAVE THE MIDGETS!!

    Boo hoo hoo, don’t make fun of little people.. my god that’s what makes life worth living. Haven’t you ever heard that song..”short people got no reason to LIVE!!!”

    Love it and I’m playing JUST for you #18.

  21. florencefosterjenkins

    What the fuck have UGG boots got to do with anything? Sheep are hardly endangered animals. Umm by name, umm by nature…

  22. Someone

    Boycott Japanese products like Kingdom Hearts?

  23. D. Richards (Hands.)

    What a foolish dwarf.

    ‘Let’s save the whales! They’re magnificent! But let’s forget about the homeless. Who cares if people starve?! Whales are dying! Who really cares if some cultures hunt whales as a way to keep in contact with their ancestral roots. They’re murderers! Murderers, I say!’

    Sure there should be laws against killing any animal; but in context. We can’t allow animals to be killed off by over-fishing and over-hunting. You should however, mind your own fucking business when it comes to what other cultures do, and have done historically. Hayden is a self rightheous little gnome who cares more about the way something makes her feel, rather than the way things should be.

    And isn’t there more important things in the world other than saving the fucking whales — Homelessness, fighting our corrupt government, keeping out of superfluous world affairs?

  24. PunkA

    She needs to fear the fact that her ass is rapidly running into her legs. Just sliding that way. and cankles. Forget whales. Save Hayden from the impending baby fat revolution.

  25. Cap'n Pickles

    16 and 20. Give Hayden a break. Girl probably barely got out of high school. Since when have hollywood celebs been expected to think before they dress or speak in public. Jeesh. Next thing you know she’ll be expected to, like, READ and walk at the same time, or something. Chew gum too? MY GOD. Do you want that poor girls head to explode?

  26. fucktard

    23, are you too dense to see the hypocrisy? she’s blabbering on about how much she loves all animals, yet she’s wearing some on her fucking feet. it has nothing to do with how endangered they are or aren’t.

  27. gotmilk?

    sorry Pickles, if she’s going to go out and not just “lend her face to a cause” she better know what the fuck she’s doing when she opens her fat face. it doesn’t require a high IQ to see the hypocrisy when she talks about how she doesn’t trust people who don’t love animals. yeah she loves animals all right, nice and skinned to keep her tootsies warm!

  28. Yep, she’s wearing Uggs, and the leather handbags she sells are also made of animals that don’t count.

  29. herbiefrog

    …and you can buy some of her clothes [perverts]

    http://panettierecloset.com/

    …you already missed the panties : ))

  30. Totally #1! cheerleaders suck dick!

  31. Christina

    Oh please, this little midget is just trying to keep herself relevant. She wants to be the next Angelina Jolie, but she doesn’t shit about politics or internal affairs, and I bet she can’t even spell U.N. What’s the easiest, most non-controversial issue she can pick up? Save the fucking whales. It’s been done already and she knows that it’ll get supported. She may as well wear a sweatshirt that says save the fluffy bunny rabbits and rainbows because all the girl is trying to do is build her reputation as some do-gooder. I am so sick of these mindless celebrities who think if they attach their name to something that we are all going to buy it. We already know you’re all self-absorbed, shit-for-brains, pretentious pricks. No amount of “Saving the Whales” or “Save Darfur” commercials (when those idiots’ pea-sized brains couldn’t even begin to process the issue of genocide on Darfur) is going to change that. Hey, I went trick-or-treating for UNICEF when I was a kid, where’s my award? Useless famous people.

  32. Christina

    Oh please, this little midget is just trying to keep herself relevant. She wants to be the next Angelina Jolie, but she doesn’t shit about politics or internal affairs, and I bet she can’t even spell U.N. What’s the easiest, most non-controversial issue she can pick up? Save the fucking whales. It’s been done already and she knows that it’ll get supported. She may as well wear a sweatshirt that says save the fluffy bunny rabbits and rainbows because all the girl is trying to do is build her reputation as some do-gooder. I am so sick of these mindless celebrities who think if they attach their name to something that we are all going to buy it. We already know you’re all self-absorbed, shit-for-brains, pretentious pricks. No amount of “Saving the Whales” or “Save Darfur” commercials (when those idiots’ pea-sized brains couldn’t even begin to process the issue of genocide on Darfur) is going to change that. Hey, I went trick-or-treating for UNICEF when I was a kid, where’s my award? Useless famous people.

    P.S. Nice fUGGS, dumbass.

  33. ixxy

    What the hell has a whale ever done for you except rot and close the beach down? Fuck the whales, let’s eat them!

  34. herbiefrog

    nice double post dumbass : )

  35. Chauncey Gardner

    I’d like to cover her in whale oil and ravish her small frame on a great big pile of rabbit pelts.

  36. PB&J

    Nuke gay whales for Jesus.

  37. I love her. She’s so tiny I bet she’d think my cock was big. If I could only get an asian guy to date her first, I’d really be in business.

  38. Buffy

    #34 – Who pissed on your cornflakes this morning bitchie-poo? To say that ALL celebrities are essentially retarded and do nothing for these causes is mindless bullshit. George Clooney has done more for the country of Darfur than anyone else I know. Do you know of any stats to dispute that? Being a celebrity brings attention to the causes, and then more people donate. You should be angry at the fuckwad celebs (ie Sean Penn and Susan Sarandon) who won’t stop spouting their political bullshit than at these good-hearted souls who are trying to make a difference. And I GUARANTEE George Clooney has more brains in his DICK than you do in your entire body.

  39. The country of Darfur, huh?

  40. BishOP

    Not to say that saving animals doesn’t have it’s place but isn’t there more worthy causes to support with their celebrity? I don’t know maybe something that effects actual people? Last I checked, humans are the dominant species on the planet, not whales. Humans write checks, run business. Whales=zippo

    There needs to be a balance with preservation and not the extremist agenda that PETA pushes. PETA cares more about animals than it does people.

  41. BunnyButt

    #16, yes, just like the antifur/animal rights activists I’ve seen wearing down jackets and leather boots/shoes. Save minks and foxes, but go ahead and kill geese and cattle. We have too many of those around anyway … and, besides, they taste good.

  42. BunnyButt

    #40, I demand you prove your point by sending George to my house to demonstrate (repeatedly) that he has more brains in his dick than in my entire body. I just LOVE science!

  43. herbiefrog

    so simon scowl…

    …you think you know the difference
    between

    …regions and countries ?
    …participants and observers ?
    …observers and parasitic pedants ?

    …and you think that your knowledge is correct?

    …and that that difference makes a difference
    …to interracine genocide ?

    get a life

  44. Adnan

    Other than the fact that her head is right at dick-sucking level, why the fuck do we care about this cow?

  45. I want the last three minutes of my life back

    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand… nobody cares.

  46. Auntie Kryst

    Don’t you think if the lil’ midget actually gave a damn she’d be up at Embassy row in front of the Japanese embassy with her act? PS #4, that was funny!

  47. Sauron

    Hayden Panettiere is very controversial in this.It’s bad to call fat people ‘ whales’.But on the other hand it’s good to save them from to much picking on.Because they’re just like ordinary people with kids to take care of and so on.She’s a pretty wise little thing.

  48. #45: Relax, sweetie, it was just a question.

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