Hayden Panettiere reads to children, I won’t hold it against her

October 15th, 2007 // 68 Comments

Hayden Panettiere spent an afternoon reading to schoolchildren. I can think of better ways for her to spend her time. They involve me, several palm branches, and a bowl of grapes. Also, nudity. Mostly her, not so much me. I’ll be wearing a tux. Sometimes I like to pretend I’m James Bond. If that rental place forgets the poison-dart cuff links, I’m going to be pissed. Clearly, those people have no sense of romance.

Note: For those of you who wonder if NBC pays me to write posts about Hayden Panettiere, the answer is no. However, I’m not opposed to the idea. NBC, feel free to call me at 1-888-LUV-HAYP. I accept cash, gold bars and/or rare religious artifacts that can melt a man’s face off. No PayPal.

Photos: Splash News

  1. RockLobster


  2. RockLobster

    And what an excellent dress to wear to a children’s book reading. Peak-a-boo up the skirt.

  3. Auntie Kryst

    Holy Shit would I have loved to be in that room! Look at her face, it looks like she can’t even sound out the words. Who read to who? Have the kids lost intelligence because of her good deed?

  4. Ript1&0

    She’s still so young and meaty. Like little baby veal.

  5. Oh yeah that’s right. My favorite show is on tonight.

    Two and a Half Men

  6. TS

    Terrible shades. Jesus christ who resurrected this trend?

  7. TS

    What up FRIST?

  8. jen

    yeah its pretty great that a marginally talented 18year old wears a micro dress and a 1/2 ton of makeup to read to kids. what an excellent role model!! i sure hope they have an easier time of reading that book than hayden appears to be having. all of these blond tan tv girls look the same.

  9. whoneedsenemies

    Isn’t that Lindsay Lohan’s little sister? Twin? Damn clones…
    Did she call the paps before this huge event?

  10. katie

    she’s one of my favorite people.

  11. MichaelJackson

    I want to read to children too. I promise to keep my pants on.

  12. Josh Simpson

    I know that’s not the most shape flattering dress, but I don’t see the hype in this girl. Don’t you all see that she is a future fattie? Look at her thighs sometime.

  13. Hollywood Agent

    A lot of people get stated with their no-talent acting careers by preforming before audiences of children or incontinent elderly in nursing homes. It’s a great self-esteem builder since both children and the incontinent elderly have no idea what is really happening and they just sit there and poop during the whole boring performance.

    Hey…What’s for Dinner…….What time are they going to feed us…….Got to go find my teeth……I need to poop…….

  14. Ript1&0

    @11 – That’s fucking hilarious!

  15. I knew dressing my penis up in a school uniform would pay off one day. It did. I love it when blondes read to my dick.

  16. Please excuse my earlier comment, I’m obsessed with my penis and get carried away sometimes. I like to dress it up, especially at Halloween when I go trick or treating. This year he’s spider-man and the trick is getting spidey web shot in your eye.

  17. Chip N' Dip

    Ya know, I didn’t like this girl at first, but she’s starting to grow on me. There’s something about her that is very cute and appealing; down to earth and sweet w/ a sunny disposition. She doesn’t seem like a snot. Lets hope that doesn’t change. And lets hope she doesn’t turn into her mother in any way shape or form; eeegad! But I don’t get it, why is she reading to schoolchildren? What does that have to do with anything? Maybe Britney should stop by for a lesson though, it might do her some good. That and getting a GED one day.

  18. tromba

    I’ll bet she has great puffies!

  19. Binky

    Well , I don’t watch this show either.
    But after being kidnapped by my maternal ‘Mom’ type thing and strapped down like that guy in Clockwork Orange – I still am trying to analyze…
    Which really has more actual cheese : This ‘Velveeta’ from Kraft ?
    Or : Dancing With the Stars ?
    Not that I’ve seen the show – but interesting to see Sam back.
    My sources are saying there was a bit of problem with Drew smoking a Cuban…

  20. AT

    First of all, what type of “young lady” chooses to wear an outfit such as that , knowing that they are going to a children’s book reading? Clearly, one with no intelligence. People such as her are setting horrible, horrible examples for our children, and frankly I have absolutely no respect for that.

  21. And for all the ‘intellectuals’ in the last Liz Hurley thread.
    Welcome ! Please come back !!
    Me and the ‘Fish’ guy need some new material !!!
    (Oh.By the way. Had lunch with my high school teacher/librarian sister today.
    “So what about 9-11?”
    “Had to unlock ‘Google Video’ because teachers want to show ‘Loose Change’ to their class”
    (Damn you world! I thought I was sort of ‘cutting edge’ with all this 9-11 crap – but apparently now it’s just grade school drudgery. Never trust a teacher- the pricks)

  22. She has to wear very short skirts to make her legs look longer. My midget of a sister used to do the same thing. There I was thinking they were sluts but no, short legs so I’m told.

  23. LL

    We can’t actually see her bajingo, so that’s +1 for her. Britney can’t manage to appear in public without her cooz hanging out, and Britney’s almost a decade older. And yeah, short chicks look better in short skirts than longer ones (though hers should be a little longer), it’s a proportion thing. Reading to children, eh. Don’t have much to say about that. Seriously, Britney, Lohan, Paris, every bitch on “reality” TV, et al have set the bar so low for young female behavior, Hayden would have to set a room of children on fire to look bad by comparison.

  24. twinglocks

    Am I the only one who thinks her boobs look weird? What are those things?

  25. Well. ok. I think she’s ok.
    But – Let’s face it.
    When Burger King were giving out those crown things -
    personally – I gave it a pass.

  26. (I hate to be ‘superficial’ here – but I like the sunglasses.
    Anything under five bucks is ‘my kinda gal’)

  27. lee

    r u on facebook? test your celeb gossip knowledge in the Celeb Quiz. It’s fun! http://apps.facebook.com/celebquiz/

  28. Sam Hain

    My daughter always wonders why she’s tired and sore the morning after “Heroes” is on. Tylenol PM, baby, Tylenol PM.

  29. Egantin

    Looks like her new power is predicting the future. In the pics where she’s sitting down, you see how much of midget porker she’s going to be in 10 years. Oink oink. She’s like a Britney dumpling.

  30. Ahem Roid

    She looks good in the shots where she’s walking, in her Monica Lewinsky pre-sploogestain blue dress. But sitting down…whoa, boy howdy…hate to say it, but I bet her butt already has a chewed bubblegum look. Time to hit the treadmill. Or maybe just put one of those hamster running wheels in her wee bedroom.

  31. steve

    FUCKIN A FISH, you are very funny.

    PAYPAL SUCKS!!!!!!

  32. the Pentapolis

    Unlike TV and movies, when we look at the world we see few heroes. There are not very many people who can set a good example for our children. As Christians we have a responsibility not only to be role models but also to direct the eyes of children and all people to the greatest hero of all time… Jesus. Jesus is alive and present today to be our own personal hero.

    According to the dictionary a hero is a person admired for great deeds and noble qualities. Jesus is to be admired for his great actions but also for his noble characteristics. He was perfect, the ultimate example of what a hero is. It exemplifies all of the qualities we look for in a hero!

  33. Chris Cocker

    Leave Britney’s fat thighs ALONE!

  34. Danklin24

    Reading the school children………..who can see right up her dress, cause lets be honest, during story time they all sit on the floor and touch themselves anyway. Wait, that was just me? Okay then.

  35. Danklin24

    #12…her thighs are muscles. The girl is very atheletic. Dont tell me you cant tell the difference.

  36. Danklin24

    And for all the ‘intellectuals’ in the last Liz Hurley thread.
    Welcome ! Please come back !!
    Me and the ‘Fish’ guy need some new material !!!
    (Oh.By the way. Had lunch with my high school teacher/librarian sister today.
    “So what about 9-11?”
    “Had to unlock ‘Google Video’ because teachers want to show ‘Loose Change’ to their class”
    (Damn you world! I thought I was sort of ‘cutting edge’ with all this 9-11 crap – but apparently now it’s just grade school drudgery. Never trust a teacher- the pricks)

    What the fuck are you rambling about?

  37. Danklin24

    #27, i doubt they were cheap. They’re orginal Oakleys

  38. Nikk

    #33. Go follow your leader and die, please. Thanks.

    Hayden’s worthless….

    You wanna see someone actually making a difference: Allison Mack. She’s actually making a difference. Hayden’s just a worthless midget with bad eyebrows.

  39. Public at LARGE : Say #22 – By the way – if they show ‘Loose Change’ in schools now – what’s up with the upcoming ‘election’ thing and the so-called ‘mainstream media’ thing.
    Binky : Glad you asked LARGE. (I’m still here for last call.)
    Well – for those of you keeping score at home – I’m sure most of your functioning chromosomes have finally figured out that the US News channels were actually the comedy channels and the ‘comedy’ channels were actually the news channels many years or so ago.
    But circa/late2007 – If they now teach ‘Loose Change’ in schools :
    A: What we do when the Comedy Channels (‘Stewart’ etc) have ‘jumped the shark’ ? (as they say in the industry)
    B: Lou Dobbs was talking to Jack Cafferty on CNN the other day. (not making this up) Both said there was no one worth voting for in EITHER party ! And these were the MSM ‘talking heads’ !
    They said everyone should register as an independent.
    As the Leonard Cohn song says – “Everybody Knows”…

  40. Binky

    Dankin – welcome – Tanx for the plug.
    Pull out your ‘Dick and Jane ‘ reader and join the show !!

  41. Binky

    Sorry – I guess it was Danklin24 (sp)
    (Any comments on 9-11 ?) (LOL)

  42. Binky

    Oh . Ok I read Dank’s entire gem.
    The missive for the ESL’s is – 9-11 was an Inside Job – and I liked her sunglasses.
    Comprehend o ?

  43. t_b

    okay people she is not fat. i think its refreshing to see a teenager who has an athletic looking body and isnt disgustingly skinny. its pretty sad how she’s trying to set a good example instead of doing drugs and seen partying every night a la Lohan and shes getting crucified for it. seems no one can do anything right these days. im personally a huge fan and think she is great.

  44. Public at LARGE : I think you scared this ‘Dank’ off.
    Binky: Consciousness seems to do that with these pricks.
    (But what DID happen to ‘Dr.’ etc from the Liz Hurley thread ? They were good for a few laughs.)
    I feel so….used….
    Oh Wait – the ……Goy… Just punched all this up on the TMZ board.
    Shut off the TV… Nite nite

  45. (Well ok – the TMZ guy punched up everything on his board but the ’9-11 Inside Job’ stuff.
    Even ‘scoop’ , the surfer reporter on the show ,with the long blonde hair hasn’t figured out this one yet.)
    (Although it’s now taught in high schools etc)

  46. OMG – I just read #38. Great stuff !

    ( Place comment here)

    (Wow – scary)

  47. DushieBlue

    What I want to know is: don’t these celebs have a coffeemaker at home?? In every picture they seem to be holding a frap or whatever. Hell, shitnie seems to go on several coffie-runs a day yet can’t find the time to get her shit together for her boys. Hmn what was I talking about again? Ow right, oke this girl. I’m not for or against her (yet), but her power on Heroes is awesome. Especially that scene in the first season when she wakes up after they’ve performed an autopsy on her: kick ass!

  48. Ascil

    Whats with celebs n coffee? is it the NEW accessory?

  49. Sam Hain

    I think they’re cute at that age. Besides if she doesn’t read to the children who will? This is true humanitarian work going on people. Like that Mother Theresa and the children in Calcutta. Or Jenna Jameson and those 750 guys in Houston.
    If it weren’t for young blonde girls in short skirts and princess crowns reading to the little ones they may have to have some old lady whose skirt covers her undies and pronounces all the big words.

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