Hayden Panettiere enjoys cellular communication

December 6th, 2007 // 98 Comments

Hayden Panettiere took an afternoon stroll before getting a manicure yesterday. I wish she would call me on that phone. Maybe we’d have a lot to talk about. I like dolphins and working out, too. One time I even bench-pressed a dolphin. True story. Go ahead and ask Sea World where I’m not allowed within a 100-yard radius of. Not just because of the dolphin thing. I had a tumultuous affair with a sea lion who, quite frankly, was the greatest love of my life. Take me back, Arfy! I can change!

Photos: Bauer-Griffin

  1. Mike

    Slow news day, huh?

  2. Doc

    I guess i can accept all the Amy Winehouse stories as long as a Hayden story IMMEDIATELY comes after…

  3. … also walks down the street in a straight line…

    P.S. LOL @ nmber 2!

  4. Itsofere

    Again with the complete no-story about Hayden Pee. Dude, at least post a sound clip of her singing “Ho ho ho, ho ho ho, we are Santa’s elves.” She’s got the perfect size and voice for it.

  5. pointandlaugh

    I want to do so many nasty things with and to her. mmmmmmmmmmm

  6. Starchasm

    The only thing that makes this even remotely interesting and blogworthy, is the fact that she apparently goes to a discount spa that offers $20 back waxes.

  7. veggi

    I might enjoy fingering her…but only if she doesn’t want me to.

  8. She’s way past her peak. She was only hot years ago, when you could imagine her dad getting upset hearing all the noises as you bone her in the basement.

  9. grobpilot

    So fucking what?

  10. grobpilot

    So fucking what?

  11. ph7

    Glad to see Fish collect his daily bag of cash from this nobody’s publicist.

  12. ph7

    Glad to see Fish colllect his daily bag of cash from this nobody’s publicist.

  13. that's what

    The worst part of being HIV+ is developing a tendency to repeat yourself.

  14. woodhorse

    FRIST did you not make fun of several people for exclaming about being first?

  15. BunnyButt


    (and notice how careful I was to hit the “post your comment” button only once)

  16. Rev. Ted Haggard

    When I was getting cured, I heard the stories of several former lesbians who were very happy that they were ex-claming.

  17. woodhorse

    Wait. Fish collects bags of cash? I totally withdraw all those complaints about doing laundry and cooking and some shit I might have said about car pooling. What I meant to say is that I really really want to be a married woman more than anything, no matter how many household chores there are and when you thought I said “If you want somebody to suck your dick, go find a queer” what I said was “I can really suck dick, I learned it from a queer”.

  18. Woodhorse, that was not me, and this is the second time the fake FRIST has done that.

    Now let’s talk more about me,,,er I mean Hayden…

  19. floof

    No one cares about this girl……..just because you think she’s hot doesn’t mean any of us do……….

  20. WHAT!

    OMG! Here a picture of Hayden taking a crap OMG! She takes a crap like the rest of us OMG! Prrrrrrrp somebody had korn…

  21. Mike

    If I bit her little nipples hard I bet she’d really cry.

  22. Why would you want to do that Mike? Do you like to make little girls cry??

  23. #20 What are you talking about? Everybody thinks I’m hot!!! Oh, you’re not talking to me about me?

    Why aren’t we talking about me???

    Fine then, let’s talk about what I’m going to drink for dinner..

  24. Mike

    Jimbo it’s what she wants. You can tell.

  25. Hayden P.

    Can you people just leave me alone, I’m pist that you can see my toe is bigger than my fat toe. MOM!…….

  26. Chauncy Gardner

    I’d like to put that phone on vibrate and call her whilst rubbing it against her little doobily-doo. Then I’d like to blast off in her mouth, and then knock her out, fold her up, stuff her in a duffle-bag and cram her under my bed for safe-keeping.

  27. You’re right Jimbo, trolls do suck balls..

    Did you write me back yet?

  28. Lowlands

    They caught her while she was doing her daily walk to her elementary school? These paparazzi are pathetic,can’t they even leave these innocent kiddies in peace?

  29. FRIST, What are we drinking for dinner tonight? And floof (what ever the hell that is) has no idea how hot you are. But we all do!!

    Mike, Pleasure is much better than pain..

  30. FTS

    That has to be the most unfunny commentary I have ever read on the Fish. Sea lions named Arfy? Come on, man.

  31. Yes I did and yes they do.. Great big hairy one!!

  32. Mike

    Actually there’s no difference. I punch my girlfriend all the time and it gets her hot.

  33. Jimbo talking about licking balls gets you a leeeetle too excited….

  34. The White Urkel

    I wonder if she shaves her cootch bare or has a little landing strip. Oh, and I wonder if she takes it up the butt. My wife has A ten spot on her taking it up the butt.

  35. Sauron

    She must have become famous because of the support of her huge pedophiles fanbase uh?Who is she?

  36. The White Urkel

    Actually my wife’s just spotting :(

  37. #34 effin troll

    I’m thinking vodka spritzers, cause I’m on a diet, Jimbo

    And yes I can hold the drink while I walk on my treadmill..

    I’m a multitasker

  38. nipolian

    Too bad…….in a couple of years she is going to look like JLH from the waist down……and not have the big ol titties to help make her somewhat doable.

  39. The White Urkel

    That was last week retard.

  40. douglas

    Does this Chick have any friends??? she is always alone………………..I will be her friend.

  41. woodhorse

    36 – funny guy, thanks for the laugh.

  42. FRIST, do you ever wake up from your workouts covered in your own vomit?

  43. The White Urkel

    That was last week retard. Now, who wants to go do a drive by on the illegals outside Home Depot? Anyone?

  44. Lowlands

    #36] Just Wikipedio her name and you’ll know all about her.

  45. Not as often as you would assume..

  46. @36 = she’s an actress who went from the Disney channel to a lame show on regular TV, and then she got raped on Dec. 7, 2007 (I’m in L.A.).

  47. @47. Troll, I don’t think you are man enough to rape your little dog let alone a female..

  48. Sauron

    What’s her PIN-code?I can’t find that on Wikipedia.

  49. Twinkie

    I wondered if she had an official fan club, but then I realized I was already there.

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