Hayden Panettiere issued warrant in Japan

November 15th, 2007 // 124 Comments

Hayden Panettiere has learned there’s a warrant out for her arrest in Japan because of her dolphin-saving adventure a few weeks ago. The actress and a couple of activists rode surfboards into a cove off the coast of Taiji in an attempt to steer dolphins away from fishing boats. Despite the legal consequences, Hayden told E! News she’s proud of the experience:

She said she was thrilled that the incident was receiving international attention, as it could result in educating others about the dolphins’ plight.
“In this town, you tend to be able to get publicity when you’re not wearing underwear or [you're] in rehab,” Panettiere said.
“I was very excited that people were interested in what we did.”

If Japanese officials want me to hunt Hayden Panettiere down and bring her in for justice, I’m on it. I’ve got all kinds of stuff to bait her in; things that chicks can’t resist. I’ve got an ironing board, some Tupperware and I’m pretty sure I can get my hands on a sewing machine. Also my car is fully equipped to hold a woman captive. I mean, lovingly restrain her. And I’d like to state for the record the dome light sprayed knock-out gas when I bought it. Yeah, I definitely didn’t modify it myself after watching an episode of Batman. I don’t even know how to buy knock-out gas by going down to the hardware store by the bus station and asking for Jim then paying him in Marlboro’s. I think that’s how my lawyer told me to word it. Or maybe it was “No comment.” Eh, close enough.

Note: I added some pictures of Hayden Panettiere sitting on Kristen Bell’s lap in a Lamborghini. You know, because I love journalism so much.

Photos: Getty Images

  1. Not telling


    Not looking too shabby there

  2. leatherdaddy

    wow she actually looks cute. damn hippy!

  3. moocow


  4. Eddy

    A) she’s hot
    B) i like dolphins
    C) she tried to save dolphins

    She’s got an A on my book…
    I’ll help her to break out of jail if she needs to :p

  5. Grant

    She’s so cute I wouldn’t care if she was helping with the dolphin herding.

  6. Andrea

    3 posts about this stupid chick in one day??? Are you serious??? She’s really not that interesting.

  7. Japanese cop

    It time to call Dog, blah!

  8. Vince Lombardi

    She shouldn’t worry too much. Japanese prisons were pretty easy to break out of because of the paper walls. The hardest part was smuggling in scissors in a rice cake. Well, that and carving a bar of soap out of a samurai sword. Definitely wait until Godzilla smashes through the electrical lines and the power grid goes offline so she has cover of darkness. But she should do something about the yellow hair first – that’s a dead giveaway when you’re in the underground in any southeast Asian country, because everyone there yells, “Hey, Yellow Hair!” (in Japanese, of course), and you don’t know what that means, but everyone looks and then you feel the eyes of the long arm of the law of averages bearing down on you and…. never mind.

  9. Jeezy

    In the main pic, it looks like she is waiting for a long, thin penis.

  10. Ooba Gooba

    My God, enough of this chick!! She is seriously overexposed. No more! She’s not that hot, she’s just a teenage actress. There are plenty of them, we don’t need any more.

  11. kelly

    what a retarded way to get attention.
    what is she talking about??
    Laws are laws.
    She is almost as bad as those getting DUIs.

  12. Harry

    It’s lunchtime, and I would like a Hayden-Kristen sandwich, please. Dolphin safe, of course.

  13. nipolian

    I said this before and I am saying it again:

    This hypocritical little stinkhole is so concerned about the environment that she flies to Japan to save the dolphins but yet she is OK with endorsing a vehicle that gets 2MPG. Anthing for a buck and a photo huh Hayd.

  14. Abracadabra

    She’s REALLY trying to stay in the public eye because she knows her celebrity is very new and very fragile and VERY much in danger of disappearing if this writers’ strike continues and her lame ass show doesn’t go back on the air. PLUS- She looks like a tranny in this photo.

  15. Why has no one made a joke using the lyrics to “Heroes” by David Bowie?
    Instead of making a joke, I’ll just supply you all with the lyrics, and hopefully you’ll see what I mean…

    “I, I wish you could swim
    Like the dolphins
    Like dolphins can swim
    Though nothing
    Will keep us together
    We can beat them
    For ever and ever
    Oh we can be Heroes
    Just for one day”

  16. Ript1&0

    Alright, my hatred for Baby Veal is definitely on.

    She’s the other white meat. Fry her up instead of the dolphins.

  17. Rick

    And yet…I’d gladly fuck her in her “hypocritical little stinkhole”

  18. ToTellTheTruth

    Who cares? WHO is this nobody bitch anyways..

  19. joh

    Hayden in prison: Yes please.
    Dolphin steak: Yes please.
    Dolphins hunted the same way as fish: No thanks.

    We don’t go around gutting & dismembering cattle while their still alive, we shoot them in the head first. The same should apply to other tasty mammals.

  20. X-Rated Flipper

    She actually issued the following statement: “I have grown up hearing – and adhering to – this phrase: ‘condemnation without investigation dooms one to everlasting ignorance.’” Call me a cynic, but I’m betting her parents don’t speak that way–I’ve seen them. And she didn’t hear that in school, because she dropped out to become an actor.

  21. loling

    joh, how do you suppose they transport dolphins and make them walk down a fenced area to be held in place and shot?
    Use big freaking aquariums? Okay supposing you do that, how do you manage to keep them still and shoot them in the head?
    Some people think cows and tuna fish are cute but they still get killed for food. Dolphins are no different.
    And if it’s about intelligence, there are a lot of very stupid and useless humans. Should we kill them for food? lol

  22. Walizalawongaa

    Can I ask why this dipshit is relevant?

  23. in response to Walizalawongaa

    you may.
    NASA has been working on the answer since February.

  24. She is so beautiful. Her nude profile and some of her nude photos were found on a nudist date site named http://www.nudistonly.com . I am curious why she was there ? Is she a nudist ? Anyone knows ?

  25. jacknasty

    hot pics! Kristen is so freakin sexy, and stumpy looks pretty cute too

  26. jacknasty

    18, 22 – because she is an actress on a succesful series, and in quite a few films. I’d much rather her about her than real nobodies like the chicks from The Hills or Kim Kardasian

  27. Too Funny

    I like it when sheltered, talentless hacks look up a superficial cause in their bubble gum journals and jump on the fad, to get some publicity. Imagine a bunch of Mexicans violating US law to protest the domestication of Chiwawas. White Americans are dumb beyond words. If you need to protest something, protest the fact that you lack the mental capacity to see how ridiculous you look disrespecting other cultures and “saving” animals, while you treat other human beings in your own country like crap.

    Clueless white bitch

  28. joe

    Any straight guy would take one look at her and support anything she does. Not that you have to listen or care, just act like you support her in hopes that you could get her drunk and fuck her one day.

  29. to #27

    very good!!
    leaving the racism out of it might have meant people actually listened to you. But too bad it will now just be ignored and treated like another racist trolling retard bastard ranting..

  30. Tupperware is awesome. I’d bone ya for a Stuffables and a FlatOut.

  31. Soy

    smoke a j

  32. elva

    why she has such an expression, she sits on a person. the car is too small? 2days ago, i saw she is on a dating site called sugarcupid.com, at that time i wander why she comes here, now,i understand maybe she want to find someone. because she is not in good ecomomic condition.

  33. D. Richards (Whore.)

    When people disrespect a culture like Hayden has, it really makes me sick. No wonder the world hates Americans. Here we are, World! We don’t like the way you’ve been living for eons so we’re going to break laws and act better than you, World. Because we know what’s best for you, World. We’re better than you World; ’cause we have so much fucking stuff, World. We’re gluttons, World. God, I hate Americans. I think about becoming an ex-patriot all the time. That would kick!

  34. Eddy

    number 27…
    you’re a fucking moron…
    how can you compare the domestication of chihuahuas with the mass killings of dolphins?
    Here’s a little history lesson. Chihuahuas descend from a breed of dogs called the techichi…curiously enough first seen by Columbus on what is presently Cuba…these dogs had been around since the Toltec occupation of Mexico around the 9th century a.d…
    the modern day chihuahua was discovered in the Mexican state of Chihuahua sometime around 1850. since 1905, the breed has been registered in the AKC (American Kennel Club)

    fucking idiot…

    anyways…to my main point.
    have any of you interacted with dolphins before?
    didn’t fucking think so…

    try it sometime…you’d be fucking amazed at the intelligence of these “animals”.

    in a world where fucking rehab and celebrities saying the N-word is news, can’t anyone appreciate the fact that someone is trying to bring attention to a cause *even if this is just a publicity stunt???*

    i swear..it just seems some people would rather know how much money Britney makes in a month and what she blows it on rather than atrocities being committed elsewhere.

  35. whatever

    “When people disrespect a culture like Hayden has, it really makes me sick.”

    I don’t normally join with animal rights types, but in this case I’m with Hayden. Dolphins are some of the smartest creatures on the planet. They are complex, intelligent, emotional animals. They cross the line in my book and should be left alone.

    The Japanese should fucking know better than to continue doing this shit. The word “culture” does not excuse their slaughter of such intelligent animals. I don’t give a fuck what their ancestors did, we know better now.

    “God, I hate Americans. I think about becoming an ex-patriot all the time. That would kick!”

    Get the fuck out then. Don’t let the illegal alien fence gate hit your ass on the way out.

  36. my comment

    Why does she have that bubble of hair on top of her head?


    seems like someone did their homework unlike the rest of you ignorant pricks…
    kudos :D

  38. oh crap…actually it was number 36…
    wow i feel like an idiot…

  39. wanker

    those lips are in the perfect shape

  40. L.Linus

    #27 Don’t know your color, but damn are you a dumb ass racist bastard. Your point could have been taken seriously if you wouldn’t have been laided with hate. Check yourself bigot!

  41. Dick Richards (Atheist.)

    Oh, #36! You are so impressive. And very goddamn typical. Typical American, Christian bullshit artist. So, because an animal is “smart”, that makes them better than other creatures? Yeah, I guess you’re right. So right. That’s part of that bias assed Chriatian thinking. “Hooven animals were put here for white people to consume.” But the dolphins, oh, the poor dolphins.. Lame. Japan hunts whales, dolphins, They’ve been doing it forever. Who the fuck do you think you are to tell another country what they can, or can not do? I’m sure you’re one of those people that actually believe that by going in to Iraq, America is safer. One of those lowly doushes that thinks there was actually a corrolation between Al-Qeida, and fucking Huseein. Somebody that believes what they’re told. Funny. “WMDs, man.” They said!

    As for the Ex-patriot shit. I am. I am very embarassed by folks like you. You make me look bad to the world’s stage. You live a bullshit existence. Only hearing and seeing what you wanna see and that, to me is fucking pathetic.

    “Don’t let the door hit you on the ass.” Not only is that fucking lame, and so predictable coming from such an American as yourself; yet, again, the same kind of self-serving shit I’m talking about. We don’t need you anyways! Hey, go live somewhere where they have opinions, sinner.

    Now, blow me.

  42. When this picture was taken, I can imagine some scene when a huge, I mean really gigantic dildo was stuffed inside your ass. Did those things really happen?

  43. D. Richards (Right.)

    “Intelligent” animals. Do you realize how fucking moronic that is? Dolphins have infrastructure now? Dolphins are using cell phones now? Look, you’re right, we should be killing ourselves.

    Hey, it’s only a cow. Fucking eat it. It’s only a snake, kill it. Snakes are the “devil”. Oh, look, the dolphin looks like it’s smiling! Awe. No it’s not, it’s not thinking about shit. As soon as you let it swim away, it’s going to gang-rape a baby dolphin.

    You’re very unintelligent, “whatever”. you’re putting human emotions in to a dolphin. But they “smile”. No they don’t. you’re an idiot. Much idiot.

    Don’t kill them. They “feel”. You know what I bet feels? Every pig that’s ever been eletrocuted to death. Every horse that’s been shot in the head because it can’t run anymore. Every single cow that’s been fed in to the meat processing plant feels something. They know they’re about to die.

    You people are fantastic.. The power of deduction is so prevelant in you. Powerful. I’m glad you’re on my side. Christ!

  44. I would set fire to a kindergarten class to be the meat in the man sandwich of Hayden P. & Kristen Bell. :)

  45. Snarky McComments

    Love that pic. It looks like she’s practicing her BJ technique.

  46. Dick…my dear friend.

    only three “animals” (that we know of to date) can actually recognize themselves in front of a mirror…
    can you name them?

    didn’t think so.
    i’ll do it for you.


    the ability for anything to recognize itself in front of a mirror shows that said creature has the knowledge of self being. That should frankly be enough to grant sentience.

    It has come to my attention that you don’t know the complex social structure many creatures in the animal kingdom posses.
    do you know how these fishermen kill so many dolphins?
    they injure members of the pod. Dolphins refuse to leave these members behind thus these fishermen mercilessly butcher everyone of them. that is a connection that most animals, let alone humans can’t even grasp.

    do your research next time…

  47. oh and Dick…
    What’s with bashing Christians?

  48. Lexoka

    Just for the record, I’m totally in favor of Hayden not wearing any underwear.

  49. Girl with attitued!

    OK EDDY! I think dolphins are smart to…. sometimes, but damm LET IT GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriusly every were I looked on here it was you saying somthing
    stupid like that. OMG!!! STFU!!!


    and yes I probibly missspelled some words but thats beacues Im so tierd.

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