Hayden Panettiere, is that for me?

February 28th, 2008 // 99 Comments

Hayden Panettiere poses provocatively for the new Candies ad campaign and if that’s not news, I don’t know what is. I also included shots of Hayden looking chesty while apartment shopping with her mom yesterday. Okay, maybe Hayden’s not really news, but it’s seriously, no jokes, my birthday today so humor me. And if you’re really nice, I’ll let you have some of the cake I made. Which may or may not be a bottle of Jack Daniels covered in frosting. (Hint: It is.)

Photos: Flynet, Splash News

  1. I’ll take some of that birthday cake now..

  2. Sarah

    Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday dear Superficial Writer! Happy Birthday to you.

    Yay. :D

  3. Erick

    Happy Birthday Superficial Guy.

    I’ll assume the occation was once again marked with your Dad giving you a card that was obviously intended for a small child, and possibly misspelling your name…

  4. adeliza

    Call me catty, but I don’t think she does the sex kitten thing too well.
    She looks like a child trying to look sexy; but she doesn’t look sexy, she looks like a child.

    She’s cute and all, but I don’t think those photos convey exactly what Candies was looking for.

    I’ll still wear the shoes, though!!!

  5. commish

    Girls who live in houses with wheels need nice shoes too.

  6. deacon jones

    @25 LOL Great fucking line!

    Looks like my troll was here before me, man, they really have cock on the mind, must be a fag to write about that much cock.

    At least theyre starting Hayden right – sexying her up and using her still undeveloped body, that’s how women get ahead in life. They should start teaching them that at an early age

  7. commish

    I think the “look” Candie’s was going for was “truck stop hooker”.

  8. I think the furry little dog is a metaphor for “doggy style”. It looks like you interrupted her prelude to a doggy style tryst! “Oh my!”—mouth agape.


    Thank you #35.

  10. Matt

    Happy Birthday, dude!

  11. Racer X

    I’d hit Hayden Planetarium.

  12. erin

    It’s my birthday too!! Happy Birthday!

  13. Lisa

    Britney Spears want’s her boots back!
    No, seriously..those ARE Britney’s boots..

  14. Rut Roh

    Happy Birthday and she has a nice ass. A bit young, but still…she’s already banging hot, so my guess is that she’ll be hella fine when she gets in her thirties. Ofcourse, by then I’ll have a see and eye dog that helps me find my fucking dentures.

  15. adeliza


    “chicks always think it’s okay to go turn all fat ass on a guy after a few months”

    I feel your pain……sort of.

    Dudes always think it’s ok to have skid marks in their drawers, all the time.

  16. graciiie

    happy birthday, superficial writer!!!!1!!~!*~J(*~jas;o fdpa

    i think hayden looks uh… shitty. i mean, she’s cute, but why does candies have to make everyone look like a little provocative whore?

    honestly, im not exaggerating. she has a really… odd… look about her. i’m just gonna blame the excessive eye makeup, copious objects she keeps putting to her lips, and the “sexy” (creepy) eye stares.

  17. deacon jones


    Jesus christ, where the fuck youve been your entire life??
    If guys were attracted to Miss Suzy homemaker or a working women, then the strip clubs and pron flicks would be filled with them.

  18. Jonaki

    She is so average looking. I see better looking girls at the super market.

  19. Happy Birthday! It’s mine too. Is there a prize?

  20. meow

    #11 YOu noticed the face too? She looks like one of those portraits from the 1700′s, is that it?

  21. whore?

    Average North American 14 year old looking 4’10” flat chested girl gone famous and whored up and photoshoped for the public. LOSER!

  22. Manly

    Chesty? She’s flat chested man! However her body is shaped like a quarterback’s. Has fat short arms and huge wide shoulders like a man’s, giving the impression of being ‘chesty’ (to you, not to me)?
    She looks like a fucking quarterback. Man body. Flat ass, flat boobs, manly chest.

  23. Alice

    OMG, so beautiful. I saw the same photo in a profile on BillionaireFriends.com. The profile is sincere and attractive. Even clebs are lonely sometimes. Maybe sometimes they really need a rich soul mate rather than a rich buddy.

  24. kelly

    Oh, honey happy birthday to you! Wish I knew your name so I could sing to you… Fish is just so… Super fish ial. xxx

  25. carol

    shecan’t pose, yawn

  26. unicornzrawk

    Happy Birthday! Mine’s on Wednesday! Yay!

  27. KickRocks

    Happy Birthday faggot

  28. Happy Birthday and she has a nice ass.

    wow…so hot, i love her.ther are many fans of her playing on tall dating site~~~~Tallmingle.com~~~which is a hot dating site for all tal l frinds and tall singles.

  29. Matt

    Happy Birthday!

  30. Hey! Its February. Does that make Fish a pisces?

  31. c.k

    never posted before- but since it’s your birthday – HAPPY BIRTHDAY, funny superficial writer! you’re funnier than any comic on tv! tnx for all the great humor! :D

  32. Kimberly


  33. She looks like she overheard #25′s comments about the heels…

  34. WTB

    Happy birthday. Hope it’s a good one. :)

  35. Chauncey Gardner

    I’d like to Panettiere her panties in half.

  36. She is so cute! So LOVELY! I found many cute and beautiful women on one club bbwconnect.com. You can check it. It’s easy and quickly to find these cute and beautiful girls!

  37. jacki

    Hey my birthday is Feb 28th too!


  38. Lyssy

    #33 It’s a Samoyed.

  39. Grunion

    I would like to make her a single mother.

  40. Arguman

    she looks eerily like Paris Hilton in that ad.

  41. Claudette

    ewwww check out the cellulite on her mom’s leg in the 7th picture.

  42. Peetree

    i would DEF hit it…
    and after i was done,
    id hit it again.

  43. dangermind

    OMG!!! did you hear theres going to be a new season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians March 9th on E!. Its going to be so much better than last season. I wonder if Reggie Bush is going to be on it. Heres the links that you asked for. Check out the tushy game. see how many you can get right. I only got 3



  44. I’d hit Hayden Planetarium.

  45. herbiefrog

    you guys are funny

    all trying to deny it : ) )

    lol guys

  46. I was told that she is a great people. And she will help some STD people who can’t afford the basic drug on ~~ stdpal.com~~ this year. Many people are disscussting it now

  47. meoffjack

    man i thank her ass look great!

  48. YEP, she goes in the same direction as paris nowadays:
    ……………………GOING “DOWN”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  49. I think this is probably the best photoshoot of her!

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