Hayden Panettiere in a bikini

January 3rd, 2010 // 217 Comments

Did I say Monday? I’m a goddamn liar.

Because apparently ignoring the basic laws of physics is this year’s Twitter, here’s Hayden Panettiere with her latest gravy train, Ukrainian heavyweight boxer Wladimir Klitschko, celebrating the New Year in Miami, and these pics could easily pass for a giant receiving his offering of a young, virginal girl so he won’t trample the harvest. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not calling Wladimir a child-fucker or anything because he’d punched me into dust. I’m just saying Hayden could use his armpits for a hammock which, in hindsight, doesn’t make this any less creepy. “Me love so much, Hayden. Me pet hair gently. Me no hur- *snap* – CHEESE IT!”

superficial

  1. artylandia

    Fuck first!

  2. Arty

    Fuck First!!!

  3. Apollo

    I wonder if he say’s “now I must break you” before he taps that midget ass

  4. qweromil

    Celulitis…. por todo lo demas yo si me la atoro

  5. jules

    pic #8 – are those bruises down her thigh? I guess if you’re fucking a giant…

  6. thisonehere

    Whoa. I cannot even… fathom this. My world has shattered into a million confused pieces.

  7. ben

    Would tyson be able to hit it if he was still heavy weight champ?

  8. PsyKo

    welcome back… and wow hayden…

  9. Tyson sux

    I would have to say NO to Ben’s stupid question. Tyson was (he is as good as dead now) one ugly brute. A coward that would recieve a major pummeling at Vitali’s hands. It would be laughable as Tyson never had a game other than try to just apishly knock another man out. Worst boxer ever. And a rapist thug with a child’s mind and terrible teeth. And a retarded tatoo. And debt.

  10. jumpin_j

    He’ll use her like a Pez dispenser. I don’t even know what that means, but I bet it’s bad-ass.

  11. Dan

    Anyone else think she was hotter in Remember the Titans?

  12. Hayden Panettiere, looks very gorgeous in a bikini, she has a beautiful body structure. I don’t think they are bruises in pic #8, rather they can be a birth mark sign:)

  13. fffff

    fuck fourth lol

  14. Derek

    I’m not normally the type to say this… but it looks like Hayden was eating well over the holidays.

    But of course, she’s still gorgeous. I’d club a baby seal just to see her topless.

  15. thenextguy

    Is it just me or do her boobs seem boobier in that first picture?

  16. hmna

    Fish, your “big, dumb Russian” has a PhD and speaks four languages. I wish I was that dumb.

  17. Ara

    Lol anyone who says Tyson wasn’t a great boxer is an idiot

  18. Gayden Panaqueer

    She looks 14. He must like them to look illegal but not actually be illegal so he can take care of his perversion while staying out of jail.

  19. ppl

    she looks like a little child next to him… pick on someone your on size will ya

  20. who dat

    Those bruises in pic 8 are from pushing/holding her legs up toward her head as he was driving it in deep. Good body but annoying. Hit it as long as he can stand to put up with her. Or until she takes off from the helicopter spins and doesn’t return to earth.

  21. mattprime86

    i would destroy her…anyday

  22. Tire Swing

    He’s got a PhD in sports science from Kiev U. He speaks heavily accented English. She’s a short, dumpy, bad actress with no education. I’m sure they have scintillating convos all the time.

  23. swank

    That’s funk right there. She’s got a PhD in knob gobbling.

  24. Too weird for werds.

  25. sorry

    welp, she’s had a boob job. its not too bad. but i am sorry to say those ‘bruises’ are cellulite. and sorry to say her face has always looked like an ant-eater’s face.

  26. She looks really awesome in that pink bikini. Hayden Panettiere has got so sexy figure and flat stomach which is giving her a sexy look. Truly hot she is!

  27. really good post here

  28. Daria

    Just because he has a PhD means nothing, especially not in Ukraine. Not trying to knock foreign education, but (as someone from Eastern Europe) everyone and their mom has a double masters/PhD over there. There really isn’t a bachelors degree there, its just a masters. Plus, its Ukraine- bribe your professors and its an easy A.

    :)

  29. Daria

    Just because he has a PhD means nothing, especially not in Ukraine. Not trying to knock foreign education, but (as someone from Eastern Europe) everyone and their mom has a double masters/PhD over there. There really isn’t a bachelors degree there, its just a masters. Plus, its Ukraine- bribe your professors and its an easy A.

    :)

  30. Daria

    Just because he has a PhD means nothing, especially not in Ukraine. Not trying to knock foreign education, but (as someone from Eastern Europe) everyone and their mom has a double masters/PhD over there. There really isn’t a bachelors degree there, its just a masters. Plus, its Ukraine- bribe your professors and its an easy A.

    :)

  31. Daria

    Just because he has a PhD means nothing, especially not in Ukraine. Not trying to knock foreign education, but (as someone from Eastern Europe) everyone and their mom has a double masters/PhD over there. There really isn’t a bachelors degree there, its just a masters. Plus, its Ukraine- bribe your professors and its an easy A.

    :)

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  36. beautiful body~~~~

  37. I'm On a Boat

    Oh for the love of Buddha what I would do to that poor girl. It would be the best 4-7 seconds of her life.

  38. Gorilla Jim

    Seriously? That hulking, wide-nosed, butt ugly (and by the looks of it, a lot older) Russian is her “boyfriend”? I didn’t know she was that desperate!

  39. 2+2=4

    So many obvious sex jokes on this situation! He is 41 inch higher, that is like … a lot! When he puts her on his penis she probably looks like a ventriloquist doll, and he can move her arms and open her mouth with his cock!
    I would pay lots of money to see them in action, that would be so ef-ing hilarious!

  40. Nameless

    Hayden’s a pretty girl but she does have cellulite which is bad because she’s way too young to have it already.

    This chick loves her old dudes. LOL

  41. Maya

    Daria, Great post!! “Everyone and their mom” thing made me LOL. It’s so true!!

  42. Maya

    Daria, Great post!! “Everyone and their mom” thing made me LOL. It’s so true!!

  43. Maya

    Daria, Great post!! “Everyone and their mom” thing made me LOL. It’s so true!!

  44. I pity you

    wow you are certainly a jealous bunch here! Vitali is a great guy just like his brother. They are both educated and very bright and are both heavyweight boxing champs. And yet the media (those hideous scoundrels) ignore them and would much rather have a hispanic or negro champ. They hate the white race as they envy them.
    Hayden is nothing other than sexy. She has no future in Scumywood.

  45. Jason Todd, the RED HOOD, JokerJr.

    thisonehere -

    Whoa. I cannot even… fathom this. My world has shattered into a million confused pieces

    HAHAHAHAHAahahahahAHHahaaHAhaa

    You cant FATHOM that a HOT, beautiful, sex kitten singer, actress, model starlett like Hayden Pannetiere is
    fxcking Ivan Drago from Rocky V, hahaha, I see Hot Young girls with Alpha Male, Muscle types ALL THE TIME, shatter your world, this has been going on for centuries….. Get used to it! Alpha Male Quarterback, Captain of the backetball team, Atheletes ALWAYS get the girls and CHEERLEADERS!!!
    Ivan Drago Dolph Lundgren is gonna have alot of fun fxcking HAYDEN….

  46. Rough versus news sweety Christina Park

    lol look@Klitschko working it, cause he hasnt hit it yet…Hopefully he didnt become Wlad the impaler! Yeah im a hater!

  47. JiggaJay

    I WOULD FUCK AND POUND THIS LITTLE MIDGET INTO A COMA

  48. Kurt Wagner

    He speaks 4 Languages, Women love that multilingual crap, it means he is very intelligient, and he knows how to fight, beat up other guys and win, he is a Soviet Superman, he is like Colossus, from X-Men Movie and comic books,
    Piotr Nikolaievitch Rasputin, I can see the attraction…i can see why they are attracted to each other…

    Hayden Pan is KITTY PRYDE!!!!

    In X-Men comics, Kitty Pryde is Colossus’ love interest
    until
    Ultimate X-Men turned Piotr HOMOSEXUAL, why Mark Millar, why did yo have to RUIN one of my favourite Marvel Mutant Superheroes, Colossus isnt supposed to be GAY, NO, Most Russians are very HETERO, overly so, Masogonists, Russian woman are FxCKING HOT….You cant be gay in russia, the women are to attractive to be gay, you have to be hetero in Ukraine because there are so many beautiful girls to fxck!

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