Hayden Panettiere in a bikini

January 3rd, 2010 // 217 Comments

Did I say Monday? I’m a goddamn liar.

Because apparently ignoring the basic laws of physics is this year’s Twitter, here’s Hayden Panettiere with her latest gravy train, Ukrainian heavyweight boxer Wladimir Klitschko, celebrating the New Year in Miami, and these pics could easily pass for a giant receiving his offering of a young, virginal girl so he won’t trample the harvest. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not calling Wladimir a child-fucker or anything because he’d punched me into dust. I’m just saying Hayden could use his armpits for a hammock which, in hindsight, doesn’t make this any less creepy. “Me love so much, Hayden. Me pet hair gently. Me no hur- *snap* – CHEESE IT!”

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Comments (217)

  1. artylandia | January 3, 2010 at 9:08 pm

    Fuck first!

    Reply
  2. Arty | January 3, 2010 at 9:09 pm

    Fuck First!!!

    Reply
  3. Apollo | January 3, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    I wonder if he say’s “now I must break you” before he taps that midget ass

    Reply
  4. qweromil | January 3, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    Celulitis…. por todo lo demas yo si me la atoro

    Reply
  5. jules | January 3, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    pic #8 – are those bruises down her thigh? I guess if you’re fucking a giant…

    Reply
  6. thisonehere | January 3, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    Whoa. I cannot even… fathom this. My world has shattered into a million confused pieces.

    Reply
  7. ben | January 3, 2010 at 9:25 pm

    Would tyson be able to hit it if he was still heavy weight champ?

    Reply
  8. PsyKo | January 3, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    welcome back… and wow hayden…

    Reply
  9. Tyson sux | January 3, 2010 at 9:33 pm

    I would have to say NO to Ben’s stupid question. Tyson was (he is as good as dead now) one ugly brute. A coward that would recieve a major pummeling at Vitali’s hands. It would be laughable as Tyson never had a game other than try to just apishly knock another man out. Worst boxer ever. And a rapist thug with a child’s mind and terrible teeth. And a retarded tatoo. And debt.

    Reply
  10. jumpin_j | January 3, 2010 at 9:36 pm

    He’ll use her like a Pez dispenser. I don’t even know what that means, but I bet it’s bad-ass.

    Reply
  11. Dan | January 3, 2010 at 9:36 pm

    Anyone else think she was hotter in Remember the Titans?

    Reply
  12. valentines day presents | January 3, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    Hayden Panettiere, looks very gorgeous in a bikini, she has a beautiful body structure. I don’t think they are bruises in pic #8, rather they can be a birth mark sign:)

    Reply
  13. fffff | January 3, 2010 at 9:39 pm

    fuck fourth lol

    Reply
  14. Derek | January 3, 2010 at 9:52 pm

    I’m not normally the type to say this… but it looks like Hayden was eating well over the holidays.

    But of course, she’s still gorgeous. I’d club a baby seal just to see her topless.

    Reply
  15. thenextguy | January 3, 2010 at 10:56 pm

    Is it just me or do her boobs seem boobier in that first picture?

    Reply
  16. hmna | January 3, 2010 at 10:58 pm

    Fish, your “big, dumb Russian” has a PhD and speaks four languages. I wish I was that dumb.

    Reply
  17. Ara | January 3, 2010 at 10:58 pm

    Lol anyone who says Tyson wasn’t a great boxer is an idiot

    Reply
  18. Gayden Panaqueer | January 3, 2010 at 11:11 pm

    She looks 14. He must like them to look illegal but not actually be illegal so he can take care of his perversion while staying out of jail.

    Reply
  19. ppl | January 3, 2010 at 11:12 pm

    she looks like a little child next to him… pick on someone your on size will ya

    Reply
  20. who dat | January 3, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    Those bruises in pic 8 are from pushing/holding her legs up toward her head as he was driving it in deep. Good body but annoying. Hit it as long as he can stand to put up with her. Or until she takes off from the helicopter spins and doesn’t return to earth.

    Reply
  21. mattprime86 | January 3, 2010 at 11:53 pm

    i would destroy her…anyday

    Reply
  22. Tire Swing | January 4, 2010 at 12:20 am

    He’s got a PhD in sports science from Kiev U. He speaks heavily accented English. She’s a short, dumpy, bad actress with no education. I’m sure they have scintillating convos all the time.

    Reply
  23. Sex Toys | January 4, 2010 at 12:38 am

    who and who?

    Reply
  24. swank | January 4, 2010 at 12:52 am

    That’s funk right there. She’s got a PhD in knob gobbling.

    Reply
  25. Mike Walker | January 4, 2010 at 1:04 am

    Too weird for werds.

    Reply
  26. sorry | January 4, 2010 at 1:23 am

    welp, she’s had a boob job. its not too bad. but i am sorry to say those ‘bruises’ are cellulite. and sorry to say her face has always looked like an ant-eater’s face.

    Reply
  27. nintendo dsi r4 | January 4, 2010 at 2:09 am

    She looks really awesome in that pink bikini. Hayden Panettiere has got so sexy figure and flat stomach which is giving her a sexy look. Truly hot she is!

    Reply
  28. sale ugg | January 4, 2010 at 2:35 am

    really good post here

    Reply
  29. Daria | January 4, 2010 at 2:36 am

    Just because he has a PhD means nothing, especially not in Ukraine. Not trying to knock foreign education, but (as someone from Eastern Europe) everyone and their mom has a double masters/PhD over there. There really isn’t a bachelors degree there, its just a masters. Plus, its Ukraine- bribe your professors and its an easy A.

    :)

    Reply
  30. Daria | January 4, 2010 at 2:36 am

    Just because he has a PhD means nothing, especially not in Ukraine. Not trying to knock foreign education, but (as someone from Eastern Europe) everyone and their mom has a double masters/PhD over there. There really isn’t a bachelors degree there, its just a masters. Plus, its Ukraine- bribe your professors and its an easy A.

    :)

    Reply
  31. Daria | January 4, 2010 at 2:36 am

    Just because he has a PhD means nothing, especially not in Ukraine. Not trying to knock foreign education, but (as someone from Eastern Europe) everyone and their mom has a double masters/PhD over there. There really isn’t a bachelors degree there, its just a masters. Plus, its Ukraine- bribe your professors and its an easy A.

    :)

    Reply
  32. Daria | January 4, 2010 at 2:36 am

    Just because he has a PhD means nothing, especially not in Ukraine. Not trying to knock foreign education, but (as someone from Eastern Europe) everyone and their mom has a double masters/PhD over there. There really isn’t a bachelors degree there, its just a masters. Plus, its Ukraine- bribe your professors and its an easy A.

    :)

    Reply
  33. lily | January 4, 2010 at 3:11 am

    “Militaryyyyyyyflirting.cooooooooooom” is the best and largest club for both military and civilian friends. It has experienced tremendous success in bringing military personals and their admirers together over these years.

    Reply
  34. ed hardy bikini | January 4, 2010 at 3:15 am

    wow

    Reply
  35. frtgjhytjkyguj | January 4, 2010 at 3:26 am

    Who cares! I found a great datingsite ((((______M i l l i o n a i r e 4 m e?c0m _____)))) last week. The best datingclub for seeking the richsingles, sexy beauties. what’s the most important is that you don’t have to be a milllionaire, but you can meet one.Rihanna is searching for her new love on that site now!******************************************************************************

    Reply
  36. frtgjhytjkyguj | January 4, 2010 at 3:26 am

    Who cares! I found a great datingsite ((((______M i l l i o n a i r e 4 m e?c0m _____)))) last week. The best datingclub for seeking the richsingles, sexy beauties. what’s the most important is that you don’t have to be a milllionaire, but you can meet one.Rihanna is searching for her new love on that site now!******************************************************************************

    Reply
  37. frtgjhytjkyguj | January 4, 2010 at 3:27 am

    Who cares! I found a great datingsite ((((______M i l l i o n a i r e 4 m e?c0m _____)))) last week. The best datingclub for seeking the richsingles, sexy beauties. what’s the most important is that you don’t have to be a milllionaire, but you can meet one.Rihanna is searching for her new love on that site now!******************************************************************************

    Reply
  38. SEXY_BABY | January 4, 2010 at 3:29 am

    beautiful body~~~~

    Reply
  39. I'm On a Boat | January 4, 2010 at 3:32 am

    Oh for the love of Buddha what I would do to that poor girl. It would be the best 4-7 seconds of her life.

    Reply
  40. Gorilla Jim | January 4, 2010 at 6:21 am

    Seriously? That hulking, wide-nosed, butt ugly (and by the looks of it, a lot older) Russian is her “boyfriend”? I didn’t know she was that desperate!

    Reply
  41. 2+2=4 | January 4, 2010 at 6:50 am

    So many obvious sex jokes on this situation! He is 41 inch higher, that is like … a lot! When he puts her on his penis she probably looks like a ventriloquist doll, and he can move her arms and open her mouth with his cock!
    I would pay lots of money to see them in action, that would be so ef-ing hilarious!

    Reply
  42. Nameless | January 4, 2010 at 7:14 am

    Hayden’s a pretty girl but she does have cellulite which is bad because she’s way too young to have it already.

    This chick loves her old dudes. LOL

    Reply
  43. Maya | January 4, 2010 at 7:31 am

    Daria, Great post!! “Everyone and their mom” thing made me LOL. It’s so true!!

    Reply
  44. Maya | January 4, 2010 at 7:31 am

    Daria, Great post!! “Everyone and their mom” thing made me LOL. It’s so true!!

    Reply
  45. Maya | January 4, 2010 at 7:31 am

    Daria, Great post!! “Everyone and their mom” thing made me LOL. It’s so true!!

    Reply
  46. I pity you | January 4, 2010 at 8:16 am

    wow you are certainly a jealous bunch here! Vitali is a great guy just like his brother. They are both educated and very bright and are both heavyweight boxing champs. And yet the media (those hideous scoundrels) ignore them and would much rather have a hispanic or negro champ. They hate the white race as they envy them.
    Hayden is nothing other than sexy. She has no future in Scumywood.

    Reply
  47. Jason Todd, the RED HOOD, JokerJr. | January 4, 2010 at 8:37 am

    thisonehere -

    Whoa. I cannot even… fathom this. My world has shattered into a million confused pieces

    HAHAHAHAHAahahahahAHHahaaHAhaa

    You cant FATHOM that a HOT, beautiful, sex kitten singer, actress, model starlett like Hayden Pannetiere is
    fxcking Ivan Drago from Rocky V, hahaha, I see Hot Young girls with Alpha Male, Muscle types ALL THE TIME, shatter your world, this has been going on for centuries….. Get used to it! Alpha Male Quarterback, Captain of the backetball team, Atheletes ALWAYS get the girls and CHEERLEADERS!!!
    Ivan Drago Dolph Lundgren is gonna have alot of fun fxcking HAYDEN….

    Reply
  48. Rough versus news sweety Christina Park | January 4, 2010 at 8:37 am

    lol look@Klitschko working it, cause he hasnt hit it yet…Hopefully he didnt become Wlad the impaler! Yeah im a hater!

    Reply
  49. JiggaJay | January 4, 2010 at 8:53 am

    I WOULD FUCK AND POUND THIS LITTLE MIDGET INTO A COMA

    Reply
  50. Kurt Wagner | January 4, 2010 at 8:53 am

    He speaks 4 Languages, Women love that multilingual crap, it means he is very intelligient, and he knows how to fight, beat up other guys and win, he is a Soviet Superman, he is like Colossus, from X-Men Movie and comic books,
    Piotr Nikolaievitch Rasputin, I can see the attraction…i can see why they are attracted to each other…

    Hayden Pan is KITTY PRYDE!!!!

    In X-Men comics, Kitty Pryde is Colossus’ love interest
    until
    Ultimate X-Men turned Piotr HOMOSEXUAL, why Mark Millar, why did yo have to RUIN one of my favourite Marvel Mutant Superheroes, Colossus isnt supposed to be GAY, NO, Most Russians are very HETERO, overly so, Masogonists, Russian woman are FxCKING HOT….You cant be gay in russia, the women are to attractive to be gay, you have to be hetero in Ukraine because there are so many beautiful girls to fxck!

    Reply

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