Hayden Panettiere in a bikini

August 26th, 2008 // 132 Comments

Hayden Panettiere celebrated her 19th birthday over the weekend by apparently wearing a bikini and a party hat. Cool? I’ll be the first to admit this looks nothing like I envisioned it. I mean, where’s the parade? The midget rodeo?! And why is the pool filled with water instead of Jell-O? No, no, NO! This is all wrong! Man, I got all dressed up like Batman for nothing…

superficial

  1. britt

    woooooooooooooooooooo

  2. Not That guy

    That’s not a dog she’s holding, her bush is actually that hairy.

  3. Stumpy

    She’s an inspiration to dwarves, sorry, little people, everywhere.

  4. dude

    Wow. There are a hundred girls in my school hotter than that. What a little self important troll.

  5. Brroke

    Thunder thighs and saddle bags already at 19?

  6. havoc

    That looks like a lonely-ass birthday or a completely staged photo op ala Heidi-whats-her-face and the fucktard.

    .

  7. Plastic Sturgeon

    Jesus, what’s up with those huge thighs? She like 19! What’s she going to look like at 30?

    ~shudders~

  8. Justwondering

    dude.. Does it make your sun less shiny if smaller people also have a life and success?

  9. FACE

    N ow thats good focking right there. Look at the thighs and hips in the first pick – made for doggie and hard pounding by long black snake.

  10. blowup doll lover

    My blowup doll looks better in a dunce cap and doesn’t have thunder thighs

  11. She looks like a lawn ornament with that hat on. I would still tap it.

  12. j_bryon

    @ Plastic Sturgeon
    Those thoghs aren’t fat…that is pure, unadulterated, bust-your-spine MUSCLE! Just imagine your head being between those legs and she cums…..you might DIE! (And probably VERY happy!)

  13. She looks like the Traveocity garden gnomes used wench

  14. rough daddy

    sexless!!!! was that done on purpose? whats going on here? anyway ill still stick it!

  15. Dirt chicken

    Not at all like I imagined it either … looks a little knock-kneed to boot.

  16. Sheva

    Sorry, I’ve always had a rule, no chicks with bigger thighs than mine. And since I can’t do the soccer thing, mine are smaller now.

    This chick needs to take action. Because by 25, it’s going to be thigh rub city.
    Shoot it may already be.

  17. sasha

    She has no tits, thick arms and thick thighs. Why does anyone care about this chick?

  18. sasha

    She has no tits, thick arms and thick thighs. Why does anyone care about this chick?

  19. Alyssa

    OH god… with the pointy hat in the middle of a garden….she really looks like a GARDEN GNOME!

  20. You mofos are all crazy!! She’s hawt…I’d drill that shit like offshore oil!! Mmm…daddy likey!! She needs to be impaled on Vlad’s spike!!!

  21. lalaland

    You guys are nuts sometimes. If she was any skinnier you’d be saying she’s too skinny and doesn’t eat blah blah blah
    This girl is HOTT!

  22. duh

    ok, so she doesn’t have a great figure. she isn’t as half as annoying as most celebrities.

  23. michele20

    Yeah, #5 said it…

  24. Eirin

    Well, she’s skinnier than your average American.
    And you’re saying she’s too fat. HAHA

  25. Khunt

    Certainly you men are jesting. This little wretched peasant has a horrendous figure. She is a medical dwarf I take it and has neither buttocks nor breasts. Her legs are muscular as well as her arms. Are you sure this is a female?

  26. Rene

    If she gets fatter and gets implants then she can have a plump body like Kim Kardashian. And perhaps they both can talk about quality butt girdles.

  27. T-Bass

    In LOVE

  28. rough daddy

    ill part those thighs like moses did the red sea!!!

  29. Sam

    This is how the Olympic gymnasts look a year after retiring from competition. It’s very close to how Shaun Johnson will look.

  30. THE REAL BARELY

    Jesus – she’s not only wearing a bikini and a party hat, she’s also wearing a whole other human on top of her own skin! Man, THAT is some fat.

    Okay kids: Out of the pool – Hayden’s using it…There’s only so much water in there!

    Holy crap! I hope she’s text messaging a weight watcher’s meeting!

    I know if I had that ass and thighs, I’d be pre-spending my residual checks on some nice juicy implants! You go girl! No…seriously: YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!

  31. You have already “WIDE HIPS”.
    This means you will give easy birth.
    Expecting?
    ………………………………………………………………………………………ALREADY!!

  32. Nique

    Comon every one – you could tell she has such figure even when she has clothes on.
    Booooring

  33. helena

    How dare you shitty people call her fat, how about each and every one of you send in pictures of yourselves in underwear?! I bet you’ll all ugly fat pathetic americans who are picking on a 19 year old girl! Get a fucking life, all of you

  34. Teacher

    What a Dunce!

  35. Randal

    I think we should all remember that this young girl has feelings too, and is a whole person, not merely a sexual object.

    Hayden, if you’re reading this, stop now honey.

    Those thighs make for a ghastly sight in the missionary position. Best to hit that from the back and finish off with a donkey punch.

    Randal

  36. Dan

    Yah know

    I’m quite disappointed in The Superficial Writer right now… He’s managed to miss a Hayden Pannetiere Nipple Slip….

    www egotastic com

    check it out… at least SOMEONE is on the ball.

  37. ever heard of more to love?

    big thighs are just so…womanly and feminen to me.it’s a turn on.
    nice big curvy thighs: MmMmMmM
    skinny thighs: GAG ME WITH A SPOON!
    if i wanted skinny thighs and no hips i’d be a petaphile…AND THAT’S ILLEGAL!
    sorry folks.

  38. helena

    What’s a “donkey punch”?

  39. dude to helena

    it’s how you were conceived, dumbASS

  40. Ted Mosby

    I’d munch on that carpet.

  41. venomhed

    Wow she is cute as fuck. Nice femme body, soft and girly! I would love to play babysitter with her, brother sister, daddy daughter in the outfit she has on.

    Nice!

  42. my comment

    Hideous clown.

  43. Boner

    The bitchiness of the women on this site really turns me on. I love ladies with attitude.

  44. Donna Summers

    She looks like a Disco Ball from the ’70s with all those little mirrors on her bikini.

  45. Jodi

    There’s something almost iconic about the hat photos. Anyway, she’s never done anything for me – I’m a Penelope Cruz man, and it takes a lot for blondes to interest me. There’s nothing to say that she doesn’t deserve her sucess though – after all, she’s done the work, learnt the lines, and relied on the interest of others. Not her fault if she’s popular.

    Jodi.

  46. gobats

    She looks like shit w/o makeup on.

  47. asdf

    A petaphile? Someone who gets their kicks off of PETA?

    Very interesting, Mister Bond.

    And yeah, she needs to hit a stair master.

  48. That bikini looks more like a chastity belt.

  49. Erik

    So this is the little whale who wants to save all the dolphins…she doesn’t lack blubber, that’s for sure.

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