Hayden Panettiere has bangs. STOP EVERYTHING.

November 16th, 2009 // 62 Comments

In case you haven’t received your government-issued telegraph informing you of the news yet, Hayden Panettiere has bangs now. However many pots of gold she offered her publicist it seems to be worth it considering this is seriously the most pervasive celebrity item of the day. So here’s Hayden trying to save the whales last night by offering what I can only assume is rear-entry midget sex. I’ll take two, please. Because sea lions mermen whales truly are the delicate flowers of the ocean. (Is cuddling mandatory?)

Photos: Getty, Pacific Coast News, WENN
superficial

  1. MikeD

    The sight of this broad makes me want to butcher a dolphan…

  2. Veronica

    Dolphin.

    Career ending alarm going off in T minus 2 years… Book that Playboy shoot now.

  3. SO RIGHT

    Here’s my feeling about bangs…very few people look better with them and those people have perfect noses, big lips and nice eyes. If you have a round face already (like Hayden), don’t get bangs.

  4. Mr Obvious

    Someone has to say it…. I would totally “bangs” her.

    Actually, I read the headline as “Hayden Panettiere has bang EVERYTHING.”

  5. glace neuf

    let me be the first to make an awful pun about BANGing her. wait, does that count? if not, then i would make like her haircut and BANGs her until i laid some ropes on her forehead…

  6. Crusty

    Picture # 3 shows panty lines. Go thong or go nadda..

  7. BangingAGirlWithBangs

    Midget sex with a girl with bangs would be awesome.

  8. cherry

    not doing a whole lot for her

  9. Joe S

    ” 3. SO RIGHT – November 16, 2009 3:46 PM

    Here’s my feeling about bangs…very few people look better with them and those people have perfect noses, big lips and nice eyes. If you have a round face already (like Hayden), don’t get bangs.

    Well, thankfully, no one really follows your advice, eh? Being that Hayden looks far better WITH bangs than without.

  10. Jessie

    Hate to break it to everyone but those bangs are fake… look at pic #22.

  11. Photoshop Police

    BANGatierre!

  12. dee

    SHE’S WEARING A WIG PEOPLE! It’s so damn obvious!

  13. Mitch Haase

    I am not gay in any way shape or form, I just don’t find her even remotely attractive.

  14. Jay

    It it just me, or does that look like a wig? she looks cute. I would like to swap bodily fluids with her.

  15. Taz

    I’d put it in her whale tail

  16. jlylec

    christ she’s hot and would get it all. aallllll.

  17. ohwell

    she looks like a little person version of kim catrall…

  18. Barf

    She looks as old as her mother. Yuk

  19. Superfan

    Good job fish!

  20. hugh

    Yeah I think it is a wig – the color the way it seems like the hair is one piece up close rather than seeing any scalp – - whew – that’s good. It’s ok but not nearly as flattering as her natural hair

  21. mafme

    Aww she made herself look like an old lady.

  22. Sport

    We can all say whatever we want at the keyboard but COME ON, when fucked up one weekend who wouldn’t hit a tiny little cheerleader? No matter what her hair or clothes look like it wouldnt take a thick set of beer goggles to wreck this check one night.

  23. sit-down comedy

    Between the ‘bangs’, her yellow tongue, and an opportunity to make some sort of ‘sperm’ whale joke, I’d expect a little more creativity from you morons. You all need to work a lot fuck harder than this.

  24. sit-down comedy

    Between the ‘bangs’, her yellow tongue, and an opportunity to make some sort of ‘sperm’ whale joke, I’d expect a little more creativity from you morons. You all need to work a lot fuck harder than this.

  25. cowsandchickenunite

    PHUCK YOU WHALE !!!!!! PHUCK YOU DOLPHINE!!!!!!

  26. Poopy

    she does look a lot older…and at first I had no clue what #26-27 were saying but yes her tongue is yellow….uber sexy!!!…NOT

  27. ehh

    no thanks

  28. ehh

    no thanks

  29. yeahright

    She looks exactly like a young Rebecca Demornay (spelling?)- the hooker in “Risky Business”, nanny in “Hand that Rocks the Cradle”, assuming any of y’all are old enough to remember those…

  30. kingofbeer

    Reminds me of young Goldie Hawn.

  31. Turd the third

    She should have ditched the panties and gone for a whale tail… they spoil those ass shots. Maybe she should be called hayden pantiederiere

    Having said that I’d hit it or bang her or check out here whale tail… at least she doesn’t have a bad case of manface, is a refreshing change to see an estrogen face.

  32. jkhjkh

    pic #10: mustache and yellow tongue.

  33. See Alice

    Is she taller than a gnome ?

  34. vomitorium

    A. Who writes this vapid and childish shit? and B. Who the fuck is this not-so-attractive fireplug-like person?

  35. Hefe

    I hate to say it but she is starting to look less-hot to me.

    I’m sad to admit that too.

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  37. kate

    oh my gosh, i think she looks SOOO much better! i’ve never understood the appeal of this girl… always thought she was very ordinary looking, even less than ordinary. but she looks pretty here!

  38. whatever

    i have never seen a young girl seem so eager to look 35 years older than she is (5-10 years maybe – but that’s to *seem* more sophisticated sexy – like megan fox – not more ‘mother-of-the-bride’). she looks like a well preserved woman pushing 60. i find her very unattractive either way, but this just ages her in a bad way. she is obviously insecure about being a tiny little midget…as she probably should be.

  39. cheadles

    This chick has a moon face. Plus she’s a midget & a heavy smoker (and according to people on set, a nose picker), so I think I’ll pass on her.

    P.S. The bangs make her look even dumber.

  40. Seriously, what is wrong with her? Girlfriend never gets it right with the hair and clothes. Jeez.

  41. MissAttitude

    Hello, little Kim Cattrall.

  42. Foreign_Guy

    36.

    She seems a little bit taller than an average gnome, obviously shorter than a dwarf.

  43. She is really looking pretty cool i must say. Her eyes are really appealing . She is looking quite taller than average.

  44. She is really looking pretty cool i must say. Her eyes are really appealing . She is looking quite taller than average.

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  46. 1moreidiotintheworld

    She tries WAAAYYYYYYY too hard to look like something that she is not – even remotely attractive. She is only good for one thing: Whale food. C’mon bitch save those poor starving whales……………….

  47. saywha?

    she looks fine here. if you’re bashing this chick for dressing classing while attending an event for a good cause, then you people really need to get lives. talk to me when she does something to embarrass herself. morons.

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