Hayden Panettiere has bangs. STOP EVERYTHING.

In case you haven’t received your government-issued telegraph informing you of the news yet, Hayden Panettiere has bangs now. However many pots of gold she offered her publicist it seems to be worth it considering this is seriously the most pervasive celebrity item of the day. So here’s Hayden trying to save the whales last night by offering what I can only assume is rear-entry midget sex. I’ll take two, please. Because sea lions mermen whales truly are the delicate flowers of the ocean. (Is cuddling mandatory?)

Photos: Getty, Pacific Coast News, WENN