Hayden Panett- aw, crap, she spotted me!

March 4th, 2008 // 76 Comments

Hayden Panettiere, my favorite undying obsession activist, stopped by Larry King Live last night and signed autographs for fans waiting outside. I’m kind of pissed because I’ve sent Hayden numerous unanswered requests for an interview. (Location: My pants.) It looks like I’ll have to take out Larry King to achieve my goal. Child’s play. I’ll simply invite him out for an early bird special at Denny’s then, when he takes a nap, I’ll tie his suspenders to a ceiling fan. It’s almost perfect unless he hits me with the Larry Stare. It leaves you powerless so he can slip off to his office for a glass of Metamucil. That man is pure evil.


  1. whitz


  2. imran karim

    how old is she?

  3. mamadough

    country kitchen buffet dammit! not denny’s.

  4. Binky

    Just dress up as a dolphin – and you’re in Fish guy.

  5. mike

    That first pictures looks like my blow up doll.


    She should have a surgeon move her nipples over to her upper arms, because they’re lots bigger than her tits.

  7. A

    Thought she had green eyes?
    Super cool and trendy to be fake in Hollywood! : )

  8. D. Richards (Chef.)

    Some guy just asked Hayden to ‘blow’ him in that first picture.

  9. Scooby

    I don’t know what people find so appealing about her.

  10. Scooby

    I don’t know what people find so appealing about her.

  11. Lola

    She wears too much make-up. Too much make-up = high-maintenance + not into video games or beer. NEXT.

  12. Ted from LA

    I’ll bet everything I own she can beat Fish in arm wrestling.

  13. grobpilot

    When the hell is she going to get naked? I have very simple needs and that is one of them.

  14. lulu

    Where did she get her shoes? I want them.

  15. Jackie Blue

    #9 Scooby

    It does not matter if a female is overweight like Kim Kardaskank, or underweight like Paris Herpes. There are men out there ready to beat off to them.

  16. Chauncey Gardner


    She’s cute, she’s blonde, and she looks like jailbait, but isn’t. That should be a no brainer.

  17. Tredge

    Hottie. I’d try to pick her up in a bar. “Hey Hayden, have you ever tripped over a tree branch? How about a root?”

  18. At work

    She looks pretty flabby for someone that always had her picture taken going to the gym.

  19. mike

    @10, You must be a homo!!

  20. Ript1&0

    Damn it man, it sucks not being able to hang out here all day now. I fucking miss it! You’re funny today Fish, as always…

    Sigh. Gotta go now. :(

  21. me

    Mike. soooo, you have something against homos, but not goat fuckers….. verrrrrrrry interesting. And by verry interesting, I of course mean you’re a fucking goat fucker.

  22. mike

    @21, No I have nothing against homos. But that is the only explanation to Scooby’s being confused about Hayden being appealing.

    And by goat and goat fucking, I never meant the animal, I meant your mother. Your mother fucks like a goat and loves it when I pull her ears back and slam it to her hard.

  23. Randal

    Well, she is certainly a very pretty girl but who is she? I’ve never heard or seen of her before but she certainly seems like she’s got herself together. A beautiful gold chain leads the eye toward her tight red shirt, which only accents her curves. A black skirt, belt and a pair of shoes finish off her style, which is not over the top as many other celebrities that dress themselves.

    A conservative, sexy young lady who is no doubt, on her way to the top… whoever she is.

  24. sindiva

    the make-up artist went a little crazy with the bronzing/shadowing under her chin. It’s like she’s growing stubble in a cartoon.

    she’s a female celebrity. you guys are being WAY too nice.

  25. me

    sob. my moms dead. so, that’s REALLY gross mike.. shocking!!

  26. commish

    Randal’s posts are like a slightly risque’ paragraph out of a Nancy Drew novel.

  27. dude

    I’m a horny, red blooded American male.

    But something about this dwarf doesn’t do it for me. Maybe it’s cuz she seems like a bitch.

  28. mike

    @25 she was moving last night bitch!!

  29. granada

    Her outfit only works on slender people.

    Also, she has a nasty slab of orange foundation under her chin.

  30. Hey Den

    In that first picture she looks like someone just stuck his dick in her ass without first getting clearance for takeoff.

  31. Jackie Blue


    Bitches not included in a mans masturbation session; I love it!

  32. woo hoo for helping the dolphins. I wish most hollywooders would take her advice and care for more than thier hair extensions.

  33. Janice J.


    She gains the majority of her weight on her hips, thighs, buttocks; so maybe she simply focuses on the step master at the gym. She definitely does not work on her upper body. This is a common problem with men and women. Some men focus on the upper body work out and end up having chicken legs.

  34. me

    28- yeah yeah. mom jokes. You are damn witty. Dumbfuck.

  35. mike

    @28. booo hooo my mommy is dead. You are a sick fuck. Booo hoo poor me. I have to listen to my daddy bang my new step mom.

    Get a pair of balls you worthless pussy!!!

  36. BunnyButt

    7, that’s so funny! Pretending to notice she has eyes.

  37. Auntie Kryst

    I don’t give a shit what you flying fucks say. I’m asking her to homecoming! So what if she is a freshman, Douchefuck?

    Just kidding I’m out of high school and this midget never went.

  38. And I don’t give a flying fuck what you shits say!!

  39. The Veggi Whore

    I as well don’t give a shitting fly what you say fucks!!

    that’s fun! Gawd, I’m bored!!

  40. Me too Veggie, what are we drinking for dinner tonight??

  41. The Laughing God

    The first pic does look like the person behind her is sticking her fingers where the sun doesn’t shine without warning.

  42. akldyief

    wow.she is really charming. I have seen her photo on a celebrity and millionaire dating site named ” Searching Millionaire dot com”.. Many men winked at her there.

  43. veg whore

    FRIST!!!! Lets have……shots!!! Or vodka and oj? simple, yet purrrrrfect!!

    fuck, I’m thirsty!

  44. I make a mean margaritini!!

  45. Auntie Kryst

    @37 Oh wow, I did screw that up didn’t I? I have to refuckulate the swearometer. Thanks for pointing that out Frist.

  46. office veg

    I have no idea what that is, but I’ll be it’s full of alcohol!!! I’m in!! Auntie, Jimbo and other drunkards!!! Lets go!!!

  47. Juaqin Ingles

    She’s got no durability at all. She’s only 18 and is already fighting waggle-arm. Definitely a hit-and-quit proposition here. Plus I have an ex that looked almost exactly like this chick. Maybe that’s the problem. I’ll stick with leggy brunettes now.

  48. mafme

    Okay, I’m not saying that she’s fat– but nothing draws attention to a little flab on the neck than shadowing done with dark makeup in order to hide it. might as well just highlight it on the photo. I still think she’s cute but I’m just sayin.

  49. Perfect way to end a shitty day!!

  50. down with milo

    supposedly she and her 30 something boyfriend are moving in together. you know he’s getting closer to poking her in the pooper every day. i loathe him

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