Hayden Panettiere Thinks Her Body Can Survive Birthing Wladimir Klitschko’s Giant Children

April 3rd, 2013 // 81 Comments
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“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Hayden, we had sex two days ago.”
“I know. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Hayden Panettiere‘s in the latest issue of Glamour where she opens up about her intense desire to be a mother which I don’t even need to make a snarky comment about because here’s the size of her fiance and here’s the size of her birth canal is. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard tales of how these “fah-gyros” possess an almost superhuman level of elasticity, but c’mon. The kid’ll be taller than she is before they even know the sex. “So what are you having? Wait, never mind, it’s standing up to pee.”

Photos: FameFlynet

superficial

  1. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    Now THAT’S what I call a mouse knuckle

  2. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    banner man
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, what could you say about this pic…..

  3. catapostrophe

    “here’s the size of her birth canal is”?

  4. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Little to the imagination.
    Just how I like it.

  5. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I would love to witness the impregnation…from a safe distance.
    Wouldn’t want to get splattered.

  6. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Dufresne
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever happened to the “original” photo?

  7. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    adgdf
    Commented on this photo:

    You must be this tall to ride Cock Mountain.

  8. Deacon Jones

    If I was a real life Dolph Lundgren, i would be tearing through hoards of Russian and eastern European chicks.

  9. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    Cover for “Sorry Daddy Whitezilla Split My Asshole # 2″,” Big Dick For A Cutie # 2 ” or “Hose Monster # 4.”
    Simply choose your title………Nothing New.

  10. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Where's Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    Great… now I’m hungry for Arby’s Beef and Cheddar.

  11. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    goonie-goo-goo
    Commented on this photo:

    That is what the brothas call a “fat monkey.”

  12. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Jeff
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve never seen a non-midget who had to stand on her toes to give a guy a blowjob.

  13. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    If only we could get the REAL “actual size” feature back, we could feel like she does when she’s at the beach.

    • And to say that other sites who seem to have had the same changes – I’m thinking of Egotastic – still have the zoom function… It’s one of those mysteries in life.

      • And those are the only ones I can find with this layout. Which still leaves the question why it’s possible for Egotastic but not here.
        Versions without the “nifty” arrow/click movement can be found at The Frisky and Socialite Life, the latter of which has zoom.
        And very similar versions can be found on Whitney Port and the three Kardashian sites, of which only Kourtney has zoom (she needs it as the small one?) and none the arrow/click function.

      • it’s calculated so that morons think the shit they eat has a different flavor when in reality it all comes from the same goddamn machine that shits out the same goddamn flavor.

  14. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    Have I mentioned how much I actually miss the REAL “actual size” feature?

  15. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    The only thing better than women are vaginas.

  16. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    little turtle head
    Commented on this photo:

    GOD I WOULD LOVE TO TASTE THAT!!! BOTH HOLES!!!!!!!!

  17. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    NOM NOM NOM

  18. Laura

    The child would not necessarily be big because Hayden is so petite. Not that’s the point of this post, but anyhow.

  19. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep .. would.

  20. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s quickly become a favourite.

  21. anonym

    she must have a tight little pussy.

    why else would you keep a girl like this?

  22. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    bigbadvoodoodaddy
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she has a pretty beefy box! Looks nice and smooth too!

  23. He would never have to pull his penis out of her. She could wrap her legs around his waist and hang on so he can be banging her throughout the day as he goes about his business. Or vacuuming the living room.

  24. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    “She’s perfect. Her head’s at dick level.”
    What Wladimir says to all of his friends.

  25. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    I could almost smell it.

  26. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    Give this photographer a Pulitzer right now!

  27. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    I would eat that for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

  28. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Chim Richalds
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, hes got to be pushing six feet

  29. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Walkaway Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Suck on this, Jessica Alba bikini pose!

  30. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Chim Richalds
    Commented on this photo:

    That is a strand of DNA on her ass-cheek. What I’m trying to say is she’s really fucking small.

  31. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    Sit Ubu, sit. Good dog.

  32. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    BigOkie
    Commented on this photo:

    By that way, that’s one of Wladmir’s giant sperm there on her left butt cheek.

  33. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Inky Black
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my!
    Well, that’s my cognitive abillility compleatli skrewd 4 teh rst of th evnink .

  34. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Inky Black
    Commented on this photo:

    Slide down the greasy pole of my depravity Hayden.

  35. Farthammer

    Hayden’s daily checklist.

    Cottage cheese thighs: Check.
    Horrible boob job: Check
    Gunt & African Baby belly: Check and check.
    Bad tattoo: Check

  36. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    flocka
    Commented on this photo:

    puffy plus dat gap

  37. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    toopier
    Commented on this photo:

    I see that no one is worried about the cellulite anymore

  38. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Weirdo
    Commented on this photo:

    Ooh Hayden, me wanna clean your stink hole with my tongue!

  39. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    I am going to masturbate to this photo.

    • I’m sorry. I know I should write something clever here or at least make an attempt at funny, or address how distracting that piece of seaweed is, etc, but it’s just too much. And honestly, I can’t think of anything else right now other than, “I am going to masturbate to this photo.”

  40. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    My mouth is watering. I bet her holes taste like fresh strawberry pie.

  41. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    The only thing missing from that picture is my tongue getting to work on her vag and anus.

  42. Angel

    Do you people actually feel good about yourself for degrading the female body and form the way that you do? Do you think that there is more to life than just seeking sexual gratification? Have you people ever experienced true love? Do you feel good about yourself after you watch porn? Thought so. Your true self doesn’t have anything to do with sexual urges and human disgust. Maybe you people should try to remember who you really are, deep down, on a soul level. That’s all.

  43. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    The last thing she heard was “Come on…Just the tip”.

  44. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    “My boyfriend is THIS BIG!”

  45. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Don Draper's Dad
    Commented on this photo:

    And the 2013 World Press Photo of the year award goes to …

  46. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wladmir Klitschko’s children aren’t going to shamble out on their own. I gotta train!! One – huff huff huff – Two!!”

  47. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, seriously, when Wladdy gets it all fired up, I gotta shift back like This!! Here, watch this video of it on my phone.”

  48. tom

    She must like it when her intestines are tickled.

  49. Like a teacup poodle and a great dane.

  50. Hayden Panettiere Implants Bikini Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    Clever Crouton !

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