Harvey Weinstein Is Mayor of Shitsville Right Now

As of this writing, Harvey Weinstein has amassed a list of over 80 women who have accused him of some form of sexual misconduct. The accusations range from creepy comments about their bodies to the big “R” word, and one woman is even pressing charges against Weinstein, his brother, and his company for sex trafficking after he put his grubby penis all over her at Cannes in 2004. There isn’t enough time in the day (or writers that work here) to keep up with every development in Weinstein’s story, so I felt it necessary to just do a general recap of how (deservingly) shitty his downfall has become.

  1. He’s probably going to jail. The sex trafficking charges filed against him are only the first of more possible civil and criminal charges coming his way. Pressure to reopen Italian model Ambra Battilana Gutierrez’s “just come in for a minute, nothing is going to happen” case (the one with the audio evidence) is probably going to boil over and it seems like that might be next.
  2. His wife left him. No brainer on her part there, Georgina Chapman saw her golden opportunity to take the kids and bounce with a shit ton of his money and still got to keep her crappy TV show. Her clothing line took a blow when Felicity Huffman finally told everyone that Harvey bullied actresses into wearing Chapman’s ugly ass gowns during award shows.
  3. He resigned from the Directors Guild of America. They were about to kick him out anyway so he just resigned to save Variety the server space for another headline.
  4. Ronan Farrow was threatened with legal bukkakke by Weinstein. He told CBS This Morning that prior to his NY Times exposé, Weinstein’s lawyers tried to scare the shit out of him with all sorts of legal fuckery.
  5. All of his new movies are screwed. They sold Paddington 2 and it still sucked, the movie where Benedict Cumberbatch plays another smart guy is sitting in movie purgatory, and Wind River (which was actually really good) has severed all ties with his former company.

I’m not sure what his exact whereabouts are right now, last time I checked he was wearing a wig and hanging out in Scottsdale, AZ at the same resort rehab facility Kevin Spacey breezed through. Now that the notion that jail time could be a possibility for him, I think it’s important to bring up the fact that he has way too much money and legal power to be locked up any time soon. Remember, Bill Cosby will probably die before the judge stops giving him these bullshit mistrials and extensions… I wouldn’t be surprised to see Harvey utilize a similar strategy.

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