Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart are engaged

April 18th, 2007 // 75 Comments

Harrison Ford has reportedly asked Calista Flockhart to marry him after five years together. And if you have your doubts, the story gets even more suspicious considering he allegedly proposed on April Fool’s Day.

Flockhart, who is more than 20 years younger than Ford, apparently took some convincing that it wasn’t a joke, but is said to be thrilled at the prospect of a wedding.

I didn’t even know these two were still together. I always thought their relationship was just some publicity stunt gone horribly wrong. Oh well, sucks for Calista. Indiana Jones is cool and all, but she might as well be marrying her grandfather. Or, you know, a giant bag filled with dust.



  1. Maybe the third time’s a charm for Han. Didn’t he leave his wife of 20+ years for this twiggy skank?

  2. Danner

    LOL She’s still a freak.

  3. Stickman

    Aah, remember when Calista Flockhart was hot?

    Yeah, me neither.

  4. at least he can build her a doghouse to sleep in the backyard at night.

  5. tits_on_snack

    “Oh well, sucks for Calista.” Uh, more like the other way around.
    I would marry Han Solo. I would not marry single-female-lawyer.

  6. Fishstick

    ew. old weiner.

  7. that is awesome that they are getting married! Age is only a number!

  8. wedgeone

    That goatee that Indy is sporting looks more like steel wool than hair. WTF?

    Is she still suffering from anorexia?

    Hope that this marriage lasts.

  9. Fishstick

    I just hope she insures his old ass so when Indiana finally bites it she can wallow in decades of Star Wars money.

  10. Hecubus

    She’s ‘thrilled at the prospect of a wedding’ I like that, she doesn’t so much want to marry this pervy old man but hey it’s the only chance she’ll ever get to have a wedding and she knows it. Oh and superfish person, congrats on getting funny again, it’s been a long hard road.

  11. Jimbo

    @5 how does it suck for Calista? Who else will go out with her and now marry her. She is getting an old guy that will probably kick the bucket in a few years and then she will have all of his money. It doesn’t get any better for her.

  12. ooof, stick that guy back in the carbonite

  13. arden

    Sucks for Calista? He will go long before her, and his estate is considerable.

  14. tits_on_snack

    #11 Jimbo, I’m not sure why you directed that at me.

  15. I wasn’t even aware they were going together.

  16. honeycombs_big_yeahyeahyeah!

    Did you hear about Harrison Ford helicoptering to the resucue of some hikers lost in the wilderness near his home? Face it, he will always be Indy. I’d love to be the one to make him toast every morning before he goes off to teach English and fight Nazis in his rugged little outfits.

  17. MelodyD

    Look at the picture he looks better then her. She is 20 years younger? He looks about 10 years her senior…. she kinda looks like the Joker (Jack N.) from the nose down. Weird.

  18. honeycombs_big_yeahyeahyeah!

    This isn’t quite what i was thinking of but here’s a heartwarming tale that, in these cynical times, almost makes you believe in heroes again:


  19. veggi

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! It was suppose to be me! *sob* Harrison, what about ME! I love you!!! *sniffle*
    I wouldn’t care if he was 103 and had no penis….. wait, no, I want the penis. Oh, Harrison. *sigh*

  20. Liverpool FC

    I’d fuck her gently.

  21. daηielle™↵

    Richard Gere is waaaaaaaaay hotter.

  22. SHE’S definitely getting the better deal. I never could stand her skinny ass. But Harrison Ford is just plain sexxxy. I’d do him right now on my desk here at work. Well, if I didn’t have a boyfriend, that is…
    Monogomy is cool. Did I spell that right?

  23. FRIST!!!

    I’d have to shave him first, though…

  24. iamsosmrt

    old and boring

  25. chaunceygardner

    I wouldn’t be so saddened by the decline of my all-time favorite actor if he was pulling better tail than Chicken Face Girl. And she followed after Lara Flynn Boyle, another true pioneer of “mummy chic”.

  26. OMG- his old ass..I’ll bet it smells and I’ll bet his balls have grey hair,e-yelk, his dick is probably small..I thought he was gay..

  27. He looks like the Cript-keeper, what a hard up bitch..that she needs his old ass just to get married..like anyone really believes in marriage these days..stupid hardup bitch.

  28. 1MILFhunter

    I always thought she sounded like a disease – “The doctor told me I’ve got a calista on my flockhart.”

  29. A skeleton, and and old man that will probably be a skeleton soon.

    Good match.

  30. jrzmommy♠

    And what girl doesn’t want to marry her dad…….

  31. wedgeone


  32. chaunceygardner

    I figured out what the new Indiana Jones movie should be about: Indy’s should look for Calista Flockhart’s appetite.

  33. alaskanchicsickle

    He and Hugh Jackman are two guys that both my mom and I are in lust with. I don’t care how old he is, he is still sexy. He’s made my girly parts tingle since I was 11. He inspired some of my first orgasms. Oh, oh, ohhh Dr. Jones!

  34. rrd

    I would def do him with a vengeance.

  35. Lal


    Haha, good stuff.

  36. kamihi

    he is one ugly wrinkly old Mofo I feel sorry for her EW!

  37. iamsosmrt

    My dog doesn’t loves bones as much as this poor bastard does.

    Harrison might be “a giant bag filled with dust” but she is a little skin bag filled with bones so they go well together. Indian Jones was always looking for bones and human remains and he found himself a nice little pile of them and named them Calista and then he put them in a dress and brought them to premieres and took them on dates and now he’s going to marry them. That’s so romantic.

  38. Lowlands

    I’m glad Harrison Ford want to marry this broomstick.Because who else want to marry this mop?

  39. LeeLee

    I would. He’s hot!
    We’re talking about Indiana Jones… not the old guy in the photo, right?

  40. AmericanMcKrout

    I second that motion, #16! I would shag him until his old bones started crackin’. Don’t care how old or gray that cock gets, Indy can rock my world any day. Oh, and #33- LMFAO! I thought I was the only school girl in America who stored him in her personal spank bank.

  41. chaunceygardner


    You just inspired a few of mine.

  42. Blog Lurker Guy Man Dude

    Calista flockhart is still alive? I thought she was defeated in first Batman movie.

  43. islandgirl

    Well CONGRATS!!! We’ll b seeing there faces in splitville soon without a doubt.

  44. Truthseeker013

    “Indiana Jones and the Last Conquest”. Supposedly features a great death scene, but it can only be released on the unrated version.

  45. Ellie

    My hubby proposed on April fool’s day 7 years ago, he said later it was so if it didn’t work out, he could say he was “just kidding” about the engagement LOL

  46. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    PMSL@ carbonite=))

    I thought they were already married. And I thought the relationship was longer than 5 years. Eh, guess they’re not interesting enough to remember.

    “Indiana Jones Meets The Mummy” Ick. They both fart dust.

  47. HappyFunBalls

    She should have gone for Jack Nicholson, at least they could have had good times dressing up as the Joker together. Yowza, that yapper of hers is horrifying.

  48. sid

    “Bag of dust?”

    Must be the same bag of dust you get your jokes about beating up bears, and people dating mops with faces painted on them.

    -Sid, posting from the library, when he can

  49. 1MILFhunter

    I would not eat her bones and all. It’s all bones.

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