Harrison Ford Wants To Play Han Solo Again (This One I Didn’t Make Up. Honest.)

“Great shot, kid! Now listen, Chewie and I are taking off, but tell Leia I looked online and her body will produce a secretion that will shut the whole thing down, so there’s nothing to worry about. She’ll know what I mean.”

Because apparently everyone’s going to talk about Star Wars for forever now which would’ve really come in handy 20 years ago when I sat alone in the back of Earth Science with my complete Topps Star Wars trading card collection I’m going to axe you all in your sleep, here’s Entertainment Weekly reporting that Harrison Ford is open to playing Han Solo again in Star Wars: Episode 7 because he eats a lot of fiber these days, so he’s more than capable of shitting all over another beloved films from my youth. (Go near, Willow, I’ll axe cut you.):

“Harrison is open to the idea of doing the movie and he’s upbeat about it, all three of them are,” said one highly placed source, referring to Ford, Mark Hamill, and Carrie Fisher, the trio that made a hyper-speed jump to global fame on May 25, 1977, the opening night for George Lucas’s original Star Wars film.

Which is amazing because Harrison Ford fucking HATES the Star Wars movies, but apparently has no problem coming back to be the crotchety old uncle to these whipper-snapper kids trying to save the galaxy with their Gangnam style because, yup, the new movies are going to be about Luke Skywalker’s kids. Via io9:

Plenty of fans were disappointed to hear that Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn Trilogy won’t be making it to the big screen under Disney’s aegis (at least not yet) — but Zahn wasn’t one of them. Zahn tells Entertainment Weekly that he wasn’t even surprised:
“The original idea as I understood it — and Lucas changes his mind off and on, so it may not be what he’s thinking right now — but it was going to be three generations. You’d have the original trilogy, then go back to Luke’s father and find out what happened to him [in the prequels], and if there was another 7th, 8th, or 9th film, it would be Luke’s children. The Thrawn Trilogy really would have fit into the gap.”

In Harrison Ford’s defense, he did come up with the classic line where Han Solo responds “I know” to Princess Leia’s “I love you,” which Family Guy eventually took to it’s logical conclusion (below) giving me a cheap and easy punchline to bail out of this post with. So tell him to shoot first at whatever the fuck, doesn’t matter, and I’ll sign off on it. I’ve got people waiting for Internet tits.

Photos: Splash News