Happy Memorial Day! Love, Wonk-Boobs

May 28th, 2010 // 156 Comments

Now that I’ve loaded up the site with varying amounts of intentional and unintentional sexy, I bid you adieu, o ye, readers of my dick jokes. But as a parting gift, here’s three miles of tit canyon courtesy of Audrina Patridge. Maybe you can have a cookout or simply park your RV for the weekend, there’s really more space than anyone could possibly need in there. (Just watch out for my boathouse, gazebo, and full-size tennis court on your way to the Starbucks.)

See you Tuesday [Ed. For real this time.],

The Superficial

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Nick

    FIRST

  2. Mancuso

    Meh, Silicon Valley. Besides, compared to Kelly Brook, everyone and everything else suffers from extreme “meh”-ness.

  3. Champ

    Not a fan of this chick, but this site has made me a fan of her fucked up, wonky tits.

  4. ___

    Those things are a disaster. Could have been great had she gone one whole size smaller.

    #1 and #2 are f-ing douchebags.

  5. James

    You know I never heard this chick talk or saw her on TV, so I have to say she’s pretty OK apart from the fucked up boob job.

  6. FrankNfrtr

    Meh.

  7. Drundel

    Sick body, but she got them too big and probably should have put them underneath the muscle.

  8. Madonna's Old Ass

    I love Audrina! Super hot!

  9. JT

    Those things are obviously misshapen, but I find her ridiculously hot and would love to have a go at her

  10. GIRL

    She is sooo pretty. I’m sure she just needs to get her titties redone soon, but that sucks. Poor investment. But who cares, she’s so cute and that stomach, wow!

  11. peanut

    i wanna suck those beautiful melons so bad! all you people are freaking liars too. you sweat those honkers just like me.

  12. Jon

    Boring.

    Pic 4 is super sexy tho.

  13. Soviet Snow

    Yeah, she needs to slam those funbags together with a good bra.

  14. Just Some Guy

    She may not be perfect, but if she was just a few drinks away from the sack, I’d put up with whatever it is that’s wrong with her.

  15. bob

    I don’t know about you guys but i would fuck her till my foreskin bleeds.

  16. FFF

    I want to worship those sexy feet till she moans!

  17. HeyHey

    I’m with FFF. Nice peds.

  18. chelsea

    they look alright… except that one.. lol. however the rest of her body is really toned. i’d love to know her work out regimen. ahah. if only she had the bum to go with them though ;) ahah. i hate chicks with decent size boobs (real or fake) and have no ass. lol.

  19. Gweb

    Guess I’ll have to drain my balls at The Superficial twice in one morning!

  20. ROUGH appeal

    Hey!!! Who photo-shopped Kendra’s ex-boyfriend’s foot into pic 4?

  21. YeahBaby

    She can wonk me anytime with those babies!!!

  22. alisa

    lol all of you are definitely fat and/or ugly because audrina looks amazinggggg

  23. I like her, nice body.

  24. Jack Mehoff

    Oh the things I would do to her 3 holes. She is one hot piece of ass!

  25. Robot

    So when is her sex tape going to come out?

  26. Mr. Nice Guy

    She and Kelly Brock just prove Natural or Augmented; Great Tits are all Real –
    Real Perfect!

  27. her tits don’t look that busted in these photos. def nothing even comparable to heidi’s grotesque carbon fiber torpedo mountains. at least audrinas don’t look like they’d take your eye out if she made any sudden movements. also, hot fucking thighs if she didn’t get around so much i’d probably eat her

  28. I love the last picture it’s SEXY!!!

  29. This pic is HOT!!!

  30. andy7171

    I agree with #13, but WTF is going on with the toes in the back ground of picture 4????

  31. Fist off, I want to say that those are the most fucked up tits I have ever seen next to my neighbor who had a partial mastectomy. In fact, her tits looked pretty good compared to these misshaped nightmares.

    That being said, it’s the start of memorial day weekend and that means a fresh gallon of Crisco and the anniversary of the Memorial Day GREAT TRICYCLE RACE! I’m not sure if it will be going on or not but if it is I am going to my friend Stephen’s house and jerk off onto the spectators from the roof.

    BEFORE YOU START CALLING ME AN ASSHOLE KNOW THIS: The spectators expect it. They like being jizzed on for some reason and far be it for me to call them fags, especially in the great queer city of San Francisco.

    Wrapping it up I will say happy memorial day masturbation to everyone.

    Later,

    Mitch

  32. Rocco

    I WANT A SEX TAPE!!!!!!!!!!

  33. Mr. Tit

    You haters are either gay or nerds who wouldn’t know what to do with a tit if it was in your face; other than your moms that you still suck off!!

    OK so the girl doesn’t have perfect fun bags, are you pussies all studs. I doubt it. Does the shape of her tits take away from the good feeling of her pink. I don’t know her and never will, but I have been with girls with good and bad tit jobs and always had good sex with them. So my guess is she could make all you wimps blow a load in 2 seconds, unless your one of these new type of guys who are all fem-like and wear eye liner when you go to bars (FAGS) and have to judge her whole body like a fucking chick does…Grow some balls pussy and be a man!

    Pussy is always good, lumpy tits or not…..

  34. wags

    I think it’s funny as hell that people are picking on the toes in 4. I didn’t even know there were feet in the pic until y’all pointed them out.

  35. B Rock

    People really dont think she is hot? she is so sexy to me

  36. The Pig

    I don’t know about you fags, but I would lay her on her
    back and fuck her with a steady rhythm.

    I want to see those tits wiggle and jiggle.

  37. FrankNfrtr

    #37 – Mr Pig…. I don’t think those boobs would move much at all no matter what you did to her.

  38. thatfulladsucksmyass

    Why in the hell would you sign off on something like that? Christ, the ad business must be booming…

  39. mau

    I have to say those mellons are simply beautiful! hugeeeeeeeeeee titans, great jugs! however if you turn to picture 4… whats up with that nasty foot next to her.. looks like shiiiiiiiiiiit. but again, her breasteses make it all better

  40. JV

    Q TAMALONES MAS ASQUEROSOS PIC 4

  41. yayo

    i wanna shot my special juice in that belly

  42. Phyllis

    While no one enjoys sweater-puppies more than I ( I am fondling a nice pair as I type ), Memorial Day is not supposed to be a ” Happy Day “. It’s a solemn day to remember the service men, such as my father, who died for this country. So, next time title it , ‘ Happy 3-day Weekend chock full-a-tities ‘, if you please.

  43. Gweb

    Remember the brave men and women who’ve died to give us the right to fap to pictures of stupid, big-titted famewhores like this cunt here.

  44. Davinci

    I guess the bigger the better. I’m just saying.

  45. Screaming Meat Nugget

    Looks like she’s getting ready for the bukkake contest. I knew she was good for something.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bukkake

  46. See Alice

    She is hot . Kelly Brook is way hotter !

  47. Yuck!

    CANKLES! CANKLES! CANKLES! CANKLES! CANKLES! CANKLES! CANKLES! CANKLES! CANKLES! CANKLES! CANKLES! CANKLES! CANKLES! aaaaand… CANKLES!

  48. CANKLESCANKLESCANKLES omg
    http://www.BestWOWGold.net/ Cheapest WOW Gold

  49. yowillie

    Giddy up!!!

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