Happy Holidays!

December 24th, 2009 // 152 Comments

Bad news, everybody. Christmas has herpes.

Ha! Just kidding. It’s only the clap. On that note, The Superficial is bailing early for the holidays, but I’ll be back Monday to kick off some light holiday posting and a look back at the best celebrity body parts of 2009. (Leighton Meester’s ass, you might want to prepare yourself for disappointment.) In the meantime, feel free to visit our awesome link partners below and try not to make out with the Christmas tree this year. I don’t care if it was asking for it with all those bulbs, shiny tinsel, sexy little tree skirt… Give daddy that piney sugar!

Happy Holidays!

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Photos: WENN

  1. Que

    Que classy santass. V Que trash.

  2. humm.

    i dont understand her shoes?? anyone else?

  3. pdxfacehole

    HO HO HO

  4. grobpilot

    Fish, you asshole!! You couldn’t do any better for Christmas than to hit us with pics of that diseased snag? I’m depressed.

  5. Ern

    STD’s for Christmas!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE

  6. What’s confusing about her shoes? They’re black with cheap bling and ugly. In all honesty though, she looks surprisingly pretty here.

  7. Paul

    I swear this broad could pick up a fucking watermelon with one hand.

  8. rrc

    There’s something diff about her face here but I can’t put my finger on it. She does look pretty though.

  9. Shecky Hemlock

    In pic number one I initially thought she was making a gang sign of some kind. But now I’ve come to the conclusion she’s merely signing for what she wants for Christmas (with the “hole” part being an accurate representation of her size…)

  10. havoc

    No shit….leaving us all Christmas with Paris Fucking Hilton?!?!?

    No midget porn…nothing. You hate us don’t you?


  11. gigi

    who’s the old broad in the santa dress, wearing stilletos & clearly living in the past, recapturing her hay-day years? Paris Hilton?!?!??! noooooo…! really??? and my god her knuckles are huge!

  12. Lovely

    She looks older…Maybe its the red lipstick, her shoes are blending in with her stockings

  13. david

    she is so fucking gross, im so sick of seeing her face i hope she dies, i dont care if its xmas thats the present i really want

  14. Napoleon

    I guess she rewears her shoes as often as she rewears her stockings.
    That is once.

  15. anon

    drunken stepfather is ghetto

  16. happy holidays

    Merry fucking christmas to you too!

  17. Darth

    Santa Claus does look a bit pale and thin this year! Swine flu?!

  18. Boogeyman King Dong

    This is how Santa looks like after being shaved?!

  19. Nero

    I haven’t heard about a herpes cure named Siren yet.

  20. usa

    Long time, no see. WB Paris.

  21. Jules

    Definitely appreciate the caption on the first pic. Nice one!

  22. KIKI

    drunken stepfather is ghetto
    It is a hell of a lot better than Just Jared. That site sucks donkey.

  23. KIKI

    While we are talking about other websites, does anyone know the magic trick to getting a password on D-Listed?

  24. V

    Proof that if you throw that outfit on anybody, it’s still kinda hot.

  25. Christmas has herpes –> hahaha hilarious.


  26. who dat

    Herpes for Christmas. The gift that keeps giving.

  27. Mama Pinkus

    this gal is just plain tiresome

  28. bigfoot

    fuck I thought I had big feet

  29. gen

    Gosh it’s weird.. Paris Hilton is over…

    Merry Xmas Fish!!!! Hope the celeb news gets better because I can almost feeling you getting bored too (no offense).

  30. His Huge Greatness Himself

    I don’t remember to have worn this kinda dress 2009 years ago.

  31. Gando

    The ouffit looks a lot like a ‘coronation mantle’.Partly made out of ermine fur.

  32. Darth

    Is she aware that she does represent a communistic capitalist?!

  33. Nero

    If she could read then she’d know now.

  34. H_Chick

    @ Number 9 – I couldnt agree more Giggles – She does look old.

  35. anumi


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  36. merry christmas~~~~ happy holiday~~~~

  37. You wonderful, wonderful person

  38. Charles

    Fuck a squirrel. This site is funny as balls. Old saggy ones. I took the time to post as I’m a) hugely drunk and b) have been enjoying your site for 2+ years.

    Eat a dick. and please keep up the good fucking work.

    Happy Holidays.

  39. Perhaps I’m a guy that enjoys living on the edge, but I wouldn’t throw Paris out of the bed for eating crackers!

  40. NANA

    Paris look older ..

  41. paris is burning


  42. damn

    How come she has more money than God, yet always manages to look trashy?

  43. Megan Fox's stubby thumbs


    Merry Christmas bozo’s!!!

  44. Regardless of your personal opinions about Paris Hilton, you must admit, she’s a true marketing success story! :)

    Cheryl Shuman
    Beverly Hills, California

  45. BLT

    wtf is wrong w her face?

  46. When the fight begins within himself, a man’s worth something.I read your profile today and it was so good to me.i feel you are the only one missing in my entire life so i decided to stop on and let you know that i am interested to be a friend first.

  47. When the fight begins within himself, a man’s worth something.I read your profile today and it was so good to me.i feel you are the only one missing in my entire life so i decided to stop on and let you know that i am interested to be a friend first.

  48. Mike

    It’s called Christmas, not ‘holidays’, you Jew-led faggot.

  49. Priapus

    Boy, hard to believe that it could get nastier, but it has…

    and I couldn’t even imagine what \ Y / looks like, grandmas old curtains

    Merry Christmas anyway

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