Bad news, everybody. Christmas has herpes.
Ha! Just kidding. It’s only the clap. On that note, The Superficial is bailing early for the holidays, but I’ll be back Monday to kick off some light holiday posting and a look back at the best celebrity body parts of 2009. (Leighton Meester’s ass, you might want to prepare yourself for disappointment.) In the meantime, feel free to visit our awesome link partners below and try not to make out with the Christmas tree this year. I don’t care if it was asking for it with all those bulbs, shiny tinsel, sexy little tree skirt… Give daddy that piney sugar!
Happy Holidays!
Betty Confidential | Celebslam | Drunken Stepfather | ICYDK | Just Jared | Lainey Gossip | PopEater | PopSugar | Socialite Life | Splash News | The Blemish
Follow The Superficial on Facebook || Twitter
Photos: WENN
Que | December 24, 2009 at 11:53 am
Que classy santass. V Que trash.
humm. | December 24, 2009 at 12:11 pm
i dont understand her shoes?? anyone else?
pdxfacehole | December 24, 2009 at 12:16 pm
HO HO HO
grobpilot | December 24, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Fish, you asshole!! You couldn’t do any better for Christmas than to hit us with pics of that diseased snag? I’m depressed.
Ern | December 24, 2009 at 12:25 pm
STD’s for Christmas!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE
Alli Watermelon | December 24, 2009 at 12:40 pm
What’s confusing about her shoes? They’re black with cheap bling and ugly. In all honesty though, she looks surprisingly pretty here.
Paul | December 24, 2009 at 12:41 pm
I swear this broad could pick up a fucking watermelon with one hand.
rrc | December 24, 2009 at 12:45 pm
There’s something diff about her face here but I can’t put my finger on it. She does look pretty though.
Giggles | December 24, 2009 at 12:46 pm
She looks old.
Shecky Hemlock | December 24, 2009 at 12:47 pm
In pic number one I initially thought she was making a gang sign of some kind. But now I’ve come to the conclusion she’s merely signing for what she wants for Christmas (with the “hole” part being an accurate representation of her size…)
havoc | December 24, 2009 at 12:52 pm
No shit….leaving us all Christmas with Paris Fucking Hilton?!?!?
No midget porn…nothing. You hate us don’t you?
.
gigi | December 24, 2009 at 1:11 pm
who’s the old broad in the santa dress, wearing stilletos & clearly living in the past, recapturing her hay-day years? Paris Hilton?!?!??! noooooo…! really??? and my god her knuckles are huge!
Lovely | December 24, 2009 at 1:12 pm
She looks older…Maybe its the red lipstick, her shoes are blending in with her stockings
david | December 24, 2009 at 1:16 pm
she is so fucking gross, im so sick of seeing her face i hope she dies, i dont care if its xmas thats the present i really want
Napoleon | December 24, 2009 at 1:31 pm
I guess she rewears her shoes as often as she rewears her stockings.
That is once.
anon | December 24, 2009 at 1:34 pm
drunken stepfather is ghetto
happy holidays | December 24, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Merry fucking christmas to you too!
Darth | December 24, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Santa Claus does look a bit pale and thin this year! Swine flu?!
Boogeyman King Dong | December 24, 2009 at 2:27 pm
This is how Santa looks like after being shaved?!
Nero | December 24, 2009 at 2:40 pm
I haven’t heard about a herpes cure named Siren yet.
usa | December 24, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Long time, no see. WB Paris.
Jules | December 24, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Definitely appreciate the caption on the first pic. Nice one!
KIKI | December 24, 2009 at 3:15 pm
drunken stepfather is ghetto
****************************
It is a hell of a lot better than Just Jared. That site sucks donkey.
KIKI | December 24, 2009 at 3:20 pm
While we are talking about other websites, does anyone know the magic trick to getting a password on D-Listed?
V | December 24, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Proof that if you throw that outfit on anybody, it’s still kinda hot.
All Women Stalker | December 24, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Christmas has herpes –> hahaha hilarious.
-meream
who dat | December 24, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Herpes for Christmas. The gift that keeps giving.
Mama Pinkus | December 24, 2009 at 5:14 pm
this gal is just plain tiresome
bigfoot | December 24, 2009 at 5:31 pm
fuck I thought I had big feet
gen | December 24, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Gosh it’s weird.. Paris Hilton is over…
Merry Xmas Fish!!!! Hope the celeb news gets better because I can almost feeling you getting bored too (no offense).
His Huge Greatness Himself | December 24, 2009 at 6:03 pm
I don’t remember to have worn this kinda dress 2009 years ago.
Gando | December 24, 2009 at 6:18 pm
The ouffit looks a lot like a ‘coronation mantle’.Partly made out of ermine fur.
Darth | December 24, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Is she aware that she does represent a communistic capitalist?!
Nero | December 24, 2009 at 6:32 pm
#33
If she could read then she’d know now.
H_Chick | December 24, 2009 at 7:40 pm
@ Number 9 – I couldnt agree more Giggles – She does look old.
anumi | December 24, 2009 at 8:22 pm
???????????????
http://www.BlackwhiteCupid.com
???????????????
A black man, but alone; A beautiful white lady, but life is not that nice. Desire a mingle of black and white? That’s what BlackwhiteCupid.com is dedicated to do.
Due to our trustful and professional services, new genlemen & beauties are joining all the time and many are making connections every day. It takes only a few minutes to submit a profile which, however, might change your whole life.
???????????????
http://www.BlackwhiteCupid.com
???????????????
http://www.topnflnews.com/ | December 24, 2009 at 8:39 pm
merry christmas~~~~ happy holiday~~~~
air diffuser | December 24, 2009 at 9:43 pm
You wonderful, wonderful person
Charles | December 24, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Fuck a squirrel. This site is funny as balls. Old saggy ones. I took the time to post as I’m a) hugely drunk and b) have been enjoying your site for 2+ years.
Eat a dick. and please keep up the good fucking work.
Happy Holidays.
GirlsWearingMyJersey | December 24, 2009 at 10:55 pm
Perhaps I’m a guy that enjoys living on the edge, but I wouldn’t throw Paris out of the bed for eating crackers!
NANA | December 25, 2009 at 12:03 am
Paris look older ..
paris is burning | December 25, 2009 at 12:15 am
Yack
damn | December 25, 2009 at 12:17 am
How come she has more money than God, yet always manages to look trashy?
Megan Fox's stubby thumbs | December 25, 2009 at 1:34 am
FIRST!!!!!
Merry Christmas bozo’s!!!
Cheryl Shuman | December 25, 2009 at 2:56 am
Regardless of your personal opinions about Paris Hilton, you must admit, she’s a true marketing success story! :)
Cheryl Shuman
Beverly Hills, California
BLT | December 25, 2009 at 3:04 am
wtf is wrong w her face?
nike shox | December 25, 2009 at 3:29 am
When the fight begins within himself, a man’s worth something.I read your profile today and it was so good to me.i feel you are the only one missing in my entire life so i decided to stop on and let you know that i am interested to be a friend first.
nike shox | December 25, 2009 at 3:30 am
When the fight begins within himself, a man’s worth something.I read your profile today and it was so good to me.i feel you are the only one missing in my entire life so i decided to stop on and let you know that i am interested to be a friend first.
Mike | December 25, 2009 at 6:40 am
It’s called Christmas, not ‘holidays’, you Jew-led faggot.
Priapus | December 25, 2009 at 7:19 am
Boy, hard to believe that it could get nastier, but it has…
and I couldn’t even imagine what \ Y / looks like, grandmas old curtains
Merry Christmas anyway