Happy Birthday, Heidi Montag, you vapid camera whore, you!

September 16th, 2008 // 119 Comments

Heidi Montag of The Hills turned 22 yesterday and to celebrate her birthday Spencer Pratt took her jewelry shopping followed by an equally staged picnic at the park. I really dig the two of them posing with the diamond cross necklace. Mostly because it renews my faith in God. I take comfort knowing in my heart that someone hears my prayers. Particularly the one where Heidi and Spencer get sent to a parallel dimension where cameras don’t exist and reality stars get stabbed in the eye with the Ebola virus. Or, in other words, Heaven. Aaaaah aahh aahh aahh-men.


  1. juniper

    when is she having her black baby!!

  2. Roz

    Ahh the obligatory christian cross, worn by sluts around the world. Might as well wear a t-shirt declaring “hey, throw me down and fuck me hard while I scream and claw. All is forgiven at church tomorrow”.

  3. louis

    Please, Please, Please, ignore these two nimrods. Why must you spend any thought on two dolts.

  4. lazy troll


  5. STevec

    his face looks like they modeled Cabbage Patch Dolls after him

  6. bnalh

    um, yeah
    slut has a cross around her neck and fucking alcohol in her hand
    by the way, she celebrates her birthday like a 5 year old. she looks gay holding up her little 2,000 dollar shoes. i don’t think shes educated about spending money, or hell.. anything at all. those shoes are ugly.
    news flash, retarded bitch
    snakeskin shoes went out with your trashy yellow hair

  7. SarahBrit

    her skin has actually made me feel slightly ill.


  8. HorribleJudgment

    These people make me sick. They have no friends but each other, they live for the camera, they have an exaggerated idea of what their “fame” is, and the only solace I take from any of this is when “The Hills” ends they will die horribly in obscurity. Spencer gay gay gay boy Pratt is the biggest douche on the planet, and if he thinks that people actually like him, and that he is a celebrity with fans, he is sadly mistaken. And Heidi, hitching her train to gay boy, the biggest douche on the planet, now like him, has no friends and celebrates her birthdays like #106 says–a fucking 5 year old. The pictures shown above are ridiculous, no one but them, no fucking friends (but when have they had ANY). They look like they’re from out of a j crew catalogue. They’re ridiculous wastes of space who need to wipe themselves off my fucking screen.

  9. asshat

    i bet she sets her vibrator to “stun”

  10. HorribleJudgment

    Yikes! I didn’t notice it before, but some commenters drew my attention to Heidi’s complexion in the picture above. It’s a fucking gravel farm on her face isn’t it? All that pancake makeup or whatever the fuck she uses ain’t covering up a thing! Jeez. Pimples, horrible complexion, nausea-inducing yellow hair (it’s fucking yellow!), not to mention, she’s getting fat. This chick is vomitous! Yuck, yuck, yuck, uggo, uggo, uggo, YUCK!

  11. chelsea

    i fucking hate them so much. she loves the fucking camera and it makes me sick and spencer looks like he has fucking down sydrome he is the ugliest fuck alive and she is a stupid cunt and this is the fakest picnic ever

  12. zits

    Wow…her skin looks HORRIBLE and if shes 22 I’m Elvis.

  13. The compliments alot of americans give to these SNOBS tells us how damn naive people think about this gigantic country.
    IF THESE SORT OF (faking) CELEBS “FIX” THE FUTURE OF AMERICA, start praying folks………..

  14. V

    God I hate her! She does have some bad skin…she is one person I hope gets run over by a bus soon! Why is she famous again?

  15. Stephanie Smith

    LOL ** OMG ** these two need to get a FKG life!!! That “Spencer ” character needs to be dropped off in the middle of no where, lets see if he has the brains to survive the “real world”…as for Heidi, that bitch would not survive at all lol I’m sure Spencer will eat her (and I don’t mean downstairs). They need to stop being attention whores b/c no one gives a FK who the hell they are, they’re not gods or anything special…just two big mistakes that need to be shot in the head!! Sad to say, no one will miss them too :) So Heidi and Spence, go FK yourselves!!

  16. DieBitchDie

    Die Bitch Die!!! Hate These 2 Assholes!! Die Bitches Die!!!

  17. Gbunny

    seriously these 2 just need to fall in a hole and DIE!

  18. Bananas

    Yeah, where are her friends on her birthday?!?

  19. chupacabra

    demons don’t have birthdays. duh.

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