…. Okay, I have a drinking problem.
In honor of the two most easily-remembered presidents, The Superficial will call it a day to reflect on the proud moment in our nation’s history when these brave men rode dinosaurs with Jesus into the west, leaving no abortion doctor or minority unshooted. In the meantime, be sure to check out such exciting events as Gwyneth Paltrow in a bikini, John Travolta’s real hair and these two bowls of oatmeal that somehow got tickets to a Rangers game.
Business as usual tomorrow,
- The Superficial
Photos: Sports Illustrated
bitch PLEASE | February 21, 2011 at 3:17 pm
Omg. LMAO!!
Mike Walker | February 21, 2011 at 5:57 pm
He could at least put the undoctored pics after the jump. This is unacceptable. Harrumph…
James M. Becher | February 21, 2011 at 9:41 pm
I think we really need to reflect on what made our founders great.
Nancy Pelosi | February 22, 2011 at 8:27 am
You used images from US curency it looks like. Sort of a Federal offense I think.
bitch PLEASE | February 21, 2011 at 3:18 pm
Excellent photoshopping skills Fish!!! Lol!!!
Bowman | February 21, 2011 at 3:21 pm
Why?
Jimbo | February 21, 2011 at 5:48 pm
I think I would rather see Khloe in her see through top…
Cock Dr | February 21, 2011 at 3:28 pm
I like the new photo editor.
How strange to see that the father of our country had smokin’ hot tits.
Keyser Soze | February 21, 2011 at 4:58 pm
Very nice balloons lol
Richard McBeef | February 21, 2011 at 3:33 pm
#4 – Now that Abraham Lincoln could jump out the window with MY dick in his hand.
s'up bitches | February 22, 2011 at 1:17 am
Ah…make that BABE-RAH-HAM Lincoln. Zing!
Little Richard | February 21, 2011 at 3:37 pm
The joke’s on you Fish, I still rubbed one out.
dudeatdudedotdude | February 21, 2011 at 3:51 pm
HAHAHAHAHA WINNER~
kara | February 22, 2011 at 6:50 pm
hahahaha nice
ubergoober | February 21, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Hey Fish, if it wasn’t for these brave men, you’d be speaking german and working in a factory right now (and that’s a best-case scenario).
Ray's Sister | February 21, 2011 at 3:51 pm
As it is we are working at Walmart (factories have moved to China) and speaking Spanish. I think it’s time for some new forefathers to step up or else we’re done.
hmna | February 21, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Um, Woodrow Wilson was President during WWI and FDR/Truman were President during WWII. Try again.
ubergoober | February 21, 2011 at 4:24 pm
Wow and you took the time out to google that just to be able to come on here and prove me wrong? Get a life fuckin lamo.
wondering... | February 21, 2011 at 4:36 pm
How many hits are you getting from folks in Egypt? Or Venezuela? How about Libya? Iran? Jordan? Armenia? Syria? None, you say?? Wonder why…could it be…censorship???
Yeah, America is just so awful. People flood the borders in droves to get into the worst place on the planet, huh?
MrGrunge | February 21, 2011 at 6:27 pm
ubergoober,
To be fair, you would have known that too had you completed elementary-level education.
Go America!
hmna | February 21, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Um, ubergoober, I actually paid attention during history class, unlike some fucktards I could mention.
Bluto Blutarsky | February 21, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
@ubergoober | February 21, 2011 at 8:22 pm
some ppl just have the basic knowledge to know that George Washington and Abe Lincoln weren’t president during the world wars. its pretty much basic knowledge.
Matt | February 22, 2011 at 4:18 am
Some people also have basic knowledge to know that without no father, there could be no son.
GravyLeg | February 21, 2011 at 3:46 pm
You had body paint pics with visible labia at SI website and you chose these? You ARE a drunk!!! LOL
Little Richard | February 21, 2011 at 8:09 pm
Dammit Gravy! I just spent the last hour over at the SI site and I can’t find labia to save my life.
It’s almost like real life.
GravyLeg | February 22, 2011 at 10:45 am
Go here… Kate Upton…
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/swimsuit/?eref=sinav
GravyLeg | February 22, 2011 at 10:46 am
Note the spaces there so I could add the link…
Also, they are under Body Paint header link…. Enjoy. :)
XJROX | February 21, 2011 at 3:46 pm
w00t! I have the Washington Monument in my pants! In other words: A Presidential Boner!
Keyser Soze | February 21, 2011 at 4:51 pm
Lame
Bucky Barnes | February 21, 2011 at 3:48 pm
Y’all can keep George, I’ll stick with stuffin’ Martha’s muffin.
jojo | February 21, 2011 at 3:53 pm
This is handy. Now i just have to pull out a $1 or a $5 and I’m ready to spray the drapes.
hapa | February 21, 2011 at 4:29 pm
boner alert!!!! i got the hots for our four fathers son!
Keyser Soze | February 21, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Yeah, because you’re into men..
Little Richard | February 21, 2011 at 8:11 pm
I would just like to point out that having the hots for you “forefathers, son” is very different from having the hots for your “four fathers son”. That is all.
kara | February 22, 2011 at 6:50 pm
i suddenly love whoever you are
Savalas | February 21, 2011 at 4:29 pm
After studying picture 5, I think I just became a Log Cabin Republican
flo's flow | February 21, 2011 at 4:38 pm
Good one! Who made that nickname up, anyway…it’s apropos all right…
jumpin_j | February 21, 2011 at 4:37 pm
“The worst idea I ever had in my life” – hard to argue with that.
timmy the dying boy | February 21, 2011 at 5:05 pm
I wanna see FDR in body paint!
Ed | February 21, 2011 at 5:08 pm
George Washington is my hero because he wasn’t afraid to slaughter people in their sleep on Jesus’ birthday.
babooda | February 22, 2011 at 1:26 am
Sorry Ed, no cigar! While it is true that Washington crossed the Delaware enroute to attacking the Hessians at Trenton, New Jersey on Dec. 25th, the battle took place the next day,Dec. 26, 1776. Guess you will need to rethink this hero worship thing you have for Washington for killing people on Jesus birthday. One other thing, Dec.25th probably wasn’t really Jesus’ birthday…he was more than likely born in July. That was a day used by the early christian churches to entice the pagans to convert and except the holiday because they already had a religious festival (Winter Solstice) at that time. But who cares about the facts anyway!
hmna | February 22, 2011 at 7:17 am
babooda, better watch out. ubergoober may call you a fuckin’ lamo.
Jimbo | February 21, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Ab Lincoln has a little camel toe going on in pic #4
Bucky Barnes | February 21, 2011 at 9:40 pm
I don’t think that qualifies as a camel toe because it’s not pulled up into the cleft. Very nice, though. Lookin’ good, Abe!
cc | February 21, 2011 at 6:29 pm
‘The Superficial will call it a day to reflect on the proud moment in our nation’s history when these brave men rode dinosaurs with Jesus into the west, leaving no abortion doctor or minority unshooted.’
Classic.
Matt | February 22, 2011 at 4:19 am
Right, because obviously if you have a conservative leaning, you’re an evil racist and intolerant.
Unlike liberals like The Superficial writer, who is of course extremely tolerant of other political beliefs.
cc | February 21, 2011 at 6:32 pm
Oh no, I just bankrupted by pants!
C. A. Martin | February 21, 2011 at 7:00 pm
Man…we get it. You’re a screaming lefty bitch. Fewer reminders, please?
BB | February 22, 2011 at 2:06 am
It seems like the political propaganda on this site is getting more and more common as well. I cannot stand when people shove politics down my throat – right or left. This is supposed to be a site about tits and re-re celebrities, not why we should all be ashamed to be Americans. /fail
Little Richard | February 21, 2011 at 8:12 pm
I cannot tell a lie, I have a chubby.
Talu | February 22, 2011 at 12:02 am
What strange big feet you have, George.
shemp | February 22, 2011 at 1:37 am
Pics 1 and 3? Seriously?
Haven’t we seen enough of John Travolta’s face for one day?
y | February 22, 2011 at 3:45 am
What happened to your more worthy posts…you hardly post anymore. Pinkisthenewblog has 10x more posts daily! Starting to become disappointed in thesuperficial!
lisa | February 22, 2011 at 5:20 am
I thought it was Keisha.
aretha | February 22, 2011 at 7:01 am
……….a social america?
YOU MEAN A COUNTRY WHO CARES ABOUT PEOPLE?
make morgan freeman president, folks!!
Lightdragon | February 22, 2011 at 9:07 am
the facw only a porn star would love.
Lightdragon | February 22, 2011 at 9:07 am
the face of only a porn star would love.
Superficial Bitch | February 22, 2011 at 10:12 am
PHEW! At frist I thought Hollywood had decided to ruin Point Break with a sequel.
Komodo | February 22, 2011 at 10:17 am
Never thought I’d want to nail either one of those presidents.
leximar | February 22, 2011 at 1:10 pm
This is hilarious
kara | February 22, 2011 at 6:51 pm
greatest post ever & i’ve been following this site for like 5 years
joan | February 22, 2011 at 9:55 pm
John Travolta looks different-
La Reina Lagarta | February 22, 2011 at 10:35 pm
Hey Fish,
Have you ever considered that maybe BOTH racism and abortion are wrong? Just because Dems are right about a lot of things doesn’t mean they’re right about everything. It’s foolish and ignorant to blindly follow one party, and taking shots at pro-lifers is cheap, cheap, cheap. Stick to titty jokes, they’re your specialty.
Nicole | February 23, 2011 at 8:51 pm
Looks like Tara Reid. Well, except for the hot body.