“Your children drove me to this.”
Roughly 300 AD, it was decided that a sequel to the Old Testament would be shekels in the camels because early Mesopotamia was a lot like modern Hollywood right down to the boy love and rampant golden showering of whores. So a group of writers got together and hashed out a new version of God that would arrive on Earth as a baby (Though sadly not in a rocket ship.) and then never age past 30 for maximum handsomeness. He also wouldn’t facilitate angel rape which was completely falling flat with focus groups. They HATED angel rape. Anyway, this “New Testament” went on to become an international bestseller probably because people spent centuries thinking you could fall off the face of the Earth into the mouth of a dragon. But more importantly, it ironically became the impetus for an over-commercialized holiday where 90% of western civilization is guilted into having a materialistic orgasm all over the faces of peoples they can’t fucking stand for more than 15 seconds. And that’s the story of why we’ll be back Tuesday.
Happy Holidays, Everyone!
NOTE: I should probably point out these are completely new photos of Courtney Stodden that we sat on because she literally posed for 100 of these. Which, in my opinion, isn’t near enough photos to accurately portray how much Santa enjoys wafting an “underage” groin directly into his beard. It’s better than coffee, he’ll tell you.
Photos: GSI Media
this is truly the most pathetic photo shoot I’ve ever seen. Can we just bring back Heidi and Spencer? At least they were the same level of stupid.
Isn’t this the same photo TOXXXIC PICTURES used in last months issue of AVN?
He’s sliding down her chimney! Ho ho ho-bag!
……
Sorry. Happy holidays, Fish and Photo Boy.
# 1 Did EVERYONE forget she is a MINOR???
#2 What is she trying to promote, her willingness to be a tacky porn star??
Courtney turned 18 on August 29. As far as your second question, I think it’s damn near impossible to explain mental illness.
FUCK ME SANTA FUCK ME SANTA FUCK ME SANTA
Omg, i almost threw up my left overs. i knew who it was when all i could see was ass. this is seriously disgusting. why baby Jesus? why?!
I just can’t with Santa’s eyebrows.
how in the world did you even see those? haha
She understands that she looks like an old lady, right?
Fantastic and extremely amazing! Happy Holidays rocks =)
Santa often gives nutcrackers for Christmas. This one he’s keeping for himself.
her parents must be so… proud.
they’ll be divorced in less than 2 years… make that 1 year. what a sad life they live of superficiality.
Such a treasure that her Mom gets the peruse such delightfully innocent pics of her daughter and new husband.
LOL! Her mom probably took these photos.
rofl…Geee prolly would throw up in its mouth if she even talked to him…poser talking bs……. cause it makes it feel better about being a lonely closet masterbater
she looks like such a porn star…like a cum guzzler
isn’t that child pornography??? because shes underage?
Well we all know that her nipples are probably fake too because its very obvious that she has gel padding in that top too. Nipples wouldn’t shine through that.
do you always just make shit up out of thin air?
what’s up with the short hair on top. I know you can cut hair shorter underneath to give it lift but not that short, thats the result of to much bleaching
NICE LICK
She can’t be 16 years old. You don’t look like that when you’re that young.
Santa loves HO, HO, HOES
She might be very intellectual… and alligators might be dinosaurs.
Smells like X-mas spirit ! Children should never , ever see those pictures, what would they think of Santa Clause?
she’s trying so hard to flash her vagina..
santa, will I ever graduate from high school?
Great! Now I have to tell my kids that Santa is a child molester.
SO…. she was, like, 16 or 17 in this shoot?
Can you have sex with a hernia? That’s about all he has protruding.
LOL this whole set has me crying. Did one of the special needs Elves apply her tanning lotion?
“Okay, little girl, now you’ll see what Santa does to the naughty ones.”
I’d love to open this package under my tree. Ho! Ho! Ho!
I would, over and over again.
he recoiling because being gay he’s never been that close to pussy before
the really scary part is i hope they don’t have kids. how would they incorporate them into all the “wholesome” santa and fun in the snow pics, i shudder to think
It looks like he is helping her take a poo. Poor sad pathetic…
“I’m a Christian”
Trash!
She looks like a 45 year old washed up hooker and he should be in jail for having sex with a minor (when they first met). They are both disgusting and don’t warrant any press attention.
If you morons would stop publishing photos and stories about them, maybe they would GO AWAY!!!
I hope her fake tits freeze and pop. lol.
irrelevant and disgusting.
Doug-seriously… you are making this molested skank famous for 15 minutes…NO ONE WILL CARE ABOUT EITHER ONE OF YOU NEXT YEAR.
g
Enough with that fucking arm thing
The Zoom Fish, Where is the Zoom!?!?!?!
Mr. & Mrs. Hutchison… Giving the “X” in “Xmas” an entirely new meaning.
Too bad that unknown fuzzy thing, at the extreme left side of the frame, wasn’t a polar bear rushing towards them.
Mmm…young lady I see a future for you in porn! HO HO HO!!
santa saves a lady from the cold snow
Never mind all that … what’s with the black tongue ??? She’s been eating black balls ???
The problem is that the white hairs get stuck between the teeth. I’m talking, of course, about his beard hairs getting stuck in her vagina teeth.
haahahahahaha
♫ Courtney the skanky famewhore
Had a very shiny snatch
And if you ever saw it
You’d notice that it has no thatch
♪ All of the other famewhores
Used to laugh and call her “Ho!”
They wouldn’t let poor Courtney
Appear on any TV show
♫ Then one sunny Christmas day
Santa came to say
“Courtney with your snatch so smooth
Mrghurrghbbrrlllgggrrttthhmmmmggrrrg”
♪ Then how the famewhores loved her
And tweeted out her name with glee
“Courtney the skanky famewhore
You gave St. Nick an STD !”
That’s fucking genius. I vote it my new favourite Christmas song. Sorry “Every Year, Every Christmas”
Listen, you two monkey-fuckers, your antics were cute at first. Well, maybe not cute…attention-grabbing…and I stuck up for you once in a while. But now it’s becoming obsessive and offensive. Why don’t you both knock it off and disappear while there are still refills available on your Thorazine prescriptions…