Happy Holidays From The Superficial

December 23rd, 2011 // 269 Comments

“Your children drove me to this.”

Roughly 300 AD, it was decided that a sequel to the Old Testament would be shekels in the camels because early Mesopotamia was a lot like modern Hollywood right down to the boy love and rampant golden showering of whores. So a group of writers got together and hashed out a new version of God that would arrive on Earth as a baby (Though sadly not in a rocket ship.) and then never age past 30 for maximum handsomeness. He also wouldn’t facilitate angel rape which was completely falling flat with focus groups. They HATED angel rape. Anyway, this “New Testament” went on to become an international bestseller probably because people spent centuries thinking you could fall off the face of the Earth into the mouth of a dragon. But more importantly, it ironically became the impetus for an over-commercialized holiday where 90% of western civilization is guilted into having a materialistic orgasm all over the faces of peoples they can’t fucking stand for more than 15 seconds. And that’s the story of why we’ll be back Tuesday.

Happy Holidays, Everyone!

NOTE: I should probably point out these are completely new photos of Courtney Stodden that we sat on because she literally posed for 100 of these. Which, in my opinion, isn’t near enough photos to accurately portray how much Santa enjoys wafting an “underage” groin directly into his beard. It’s better than coffee, he’ll tell you.

Photos: GSI Media

superficial

  1. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    Dustinello
    Commented on this photo:

    Herman Cain? You sneaky son of a bitch!

  2. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    nanya B
    Commented on this photo:

    Make a wish…

  3. TracyJ

    The only thing more pathetic than this couple… so vehemently hating a god that you claim you don’t think exists. Let go of the hate dude.

  4. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    nanya B
    Commented on this photo:

    Make a wish…

  5. Evil

    Wait, isn’t this kiddy porn?

  6. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    CranAppleSnapple
    Commented on this photo:

    Who knew Santa likes to hit it from the back? Maybe that depends on what mommy looks like.

  7. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    mc
    Commented on this photo:

    love the jelly push up under her tit thats starting to come out…wth? its shaped like a football…what a ho

  8. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    lori
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s just so…. creepy.

  9. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    dirk
    Commented on this photo:

    Not gonna lie. It moved.

  10. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    Mike701
    Commented on this photo:

    Muff, Muff, Muff! Nair-y Gristlelips!

  11. forrest gump

    THIS IS A STRANGE POSE FOR LICKING, folks.

  12. Merry Christmas, my deprived fellow fucks.

  13. stranger

    Superfish, you might be interested to know that your domain registrar (Go Daddy) supports SOPA. Join the boycott?

  14. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    Ravi Sethna Ramalamadingdong
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s actually wearing a Biohazard suit.

  15. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    Pip-pip
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it just me or does she look like a blonde Megan Fox?

  16. If she didn’t want Santa to do that she shouldn’t have worn the G-string with mistletoe on the front.

  17. Merry Christmas to one and all…even the ones who don’t celebrate it!

  18. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    shankyouverymuch
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know, every time I see a new ream of pix from these morons I just can’t help but feel sorry for that girl… so OBVIOUSLY mentally ILL & NO help in sight – I’m not wishing bad on anyone, BUT, possibly a dose of pneumonia might stop the insanity!? :O(

  19. yuk

    whores d’oeuvres

  20. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    Commented on this photo:

    How come in just about all the pics, she is looking right at the camera not paying him an ounce of attention and he’s trying so hard to kiss her or just get her to look at him? yea I know, she’s a dumb slut using him blah blah blah…I still have to ask!

  21. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    gigi
    Commented on this photo:

    best “I’m so gay” pic of the series

  22. gigi

    so this dude is gay right? so this Courtney person has gotta be the best tranny ever… and not a day under 30…

  23. GLT

    “The Courtney Stodden Bikini Humping Santa Pics We Saved For Last.”

    Gee, umm, thanks? I guess…

  24. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    readyneddy
    Commented on this photo:

    I would fuck her until my cock went numb.

  25. Are there any shrinks in the gallery today? I just want to know, is it really, REALLY bad that I’m starting to feel attracted to her? I’m worried that maybe I’ve been infected by the “naughty factor.”

  26. I don’t knoooow. A pervert in a Santa Claus suit with an underage girl and taking pictures… sounds a lot like Christmas in the malls every year…

  27. sasha

    “underage” ????? old and nasty is more like it

  28. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    ktulu
    Commented on this photo:

    Non of these are the least bit sexy she looks like shes hard to hold up

  29. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    Sid
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’s cute as hell.

  30. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    philio
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor ol’ Santa’s resorted to eating at the Y, damn you economy!!

  31. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    toolate
    Commented on this photo:

    My santa is ril, this snow is ril…

  32. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    Larry
    Commented on this photo:

    I used to think she just wore bras 3 sizes too big with super bulky padding, but now I realize those are definitely implants.

  33. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    roy s
    Commented on this photo:

    horrible.

  34. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    fattymcgee
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do I get the feeling Santa’s candy cane looked like it had been dragged along the floor after he put it in her Christmas stocking.

  35. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    “And then that sinful Santa said he wanted to ravish my resplendent rosebud until it turned a radiant red…”

  36. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    Santa Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    My urine was bright red this morning. I think it means – Christmas is here!

  37. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    tracy bussan
    Commented on this photo:

    This will not last

  38. Nobody

    Oh yeah, those tits are real. Totally. In the same way that canoeing on my Wii is as real as canoeing on a lake.

  39. Stupid

    Fuck the Happy Holidays bullshit!!!!
    Merry Christmas everyone.

  40. RONCO

    To be fair, she does have great legs.

    • Brooke

      She has a great figure, real or not, but she over tans and has no sense of modesty. I can’t find women like that, ie skanks, attractive. Same goes for men who have great bodies but walk around shirtless all the time like douchebags.

  41. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    Christine
    Commented on this photo:

    seriously… wtf did this girls parents do to her?

  42. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    gross
    Commented on this photo:

    Not gonna lie, it moved a little. That being said, don’t confuse my lack of a gf with a tolerance for loose moral ground. This is still gross.

  43. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    anjo
    Commented on this photo:

    THIS WHORE HAS NO SHAME AND THAT INCLUDES THE MALE WHORE. America can do better!

  44. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    mark
    Commented on this photo:

    A 35 year old “teen”?

  45. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    Malcolm Corley
    Commented on this photo:

    Om Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom :P

  46. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    moopy
    Commented on this photo:

    COURTNEY, IF YOU ARE READING THIS:

    ALL PUBLICITY IS -NOT- GOOD PUBLICITY.

    even the people who troll this website would prefer if you kept your hyperactive cooch under wraps.

  47. stevebeagle

    and we wonder why the rest of the world hates us.

  48. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    angerinside
    Commented on this photo:

    “After a long night, Santa relaxed and cracked open a cold one….”

  49. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    angerinside
    Commented on this photo:

    “..and this is the little reindeer who pulled a train for Santa.’

  50. Courtney Stodden Bikini Doug Hutchison Santa
    butterfly26
    Commented on this photo:

    ENOUGH! MAKE IT STOP!

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