Hank Azaria needs more friends

January 5th, 2006 // 22 Comments

azaria-poker.jpgHank Azaria’s assistant has sent out an email to try and fill some empty seats for Hank’s poker party tonight.

HANK Azaria is hosting a poker party tonight at his SoHo pad. How do we know? We were forwarded the following e-mail from the actor’s assistant, Illana Manaster: “I have seven spots for poker on Thursday night at Hank Azaria’s place in SoHo. The game is no limit, $500 buy-in. I will happily reserve spots for the first seven people who get back to me. The game will start around 8:30.” Others who were cc’d the e-mail included actor/producer Fisher Stevens, chef Bobby Flay and nightlife power player Scott Sartiano.

There’s something incredibly pathetic about a man’s assistant having to email strangers to try and find people to play poker with. I bet he frequents the local soup kitchen, paying homeless men to occasionally drop by his house and be his friend. It’s sad until you think about it. And then it’s funny. And then sad again, because your mind wanders and you picture a lonely deer getting shot in the woods.

Gambling Man [Page Six]

Hank Azaria - Doblaje Wiki
Hank Azaria como Gargamel « culturacomic.com
Hank Azaria
Hank Azaria
New Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Pics
What do Daniel Day-Lewis, Henry Fonda, Jason Robards, Hank Azaria have in common with Benjamin Walker? Answer: not a lot, judging by these first looks pics from Timur Bekmambetov's Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Those other interpretations on Abe have ...
Oh No, Joe! The ‘Indian’ Accent Comes Again
“Right away they were like ‘Can you do an Indian accent and how offensive can you make it?’ basically,” Hank Azaria, who does the voice of Apu, said in a 2007 interview. Rather than be appalled, executives from 7-11 were so enamoured ...

Comments (22)

  1. Sheva | January 5, 2006 at 9:05 am

    Nothing against the site, but you obviously don’t know poker. And getting up a regular game with these type of stakes is no laughing matter.

    That Hank can rustle up some players at that type of coin indicates he’s doing something right.

    You go boyyyyyyiiee.

    Reply
  2. DrDanny | January 5, 2006 at 10:38 am

    Yeah, I feel sorrier for the people who receive the email and end up signing up. Hank probably just needs some suckers, and what better way to find some than the time-honored tradition of spam?

    Reply
  3. Rocknrope | January 5, 2006 at 10:39 am

    Ummm, Sheva, I think the point was that he “couldn’t” rustle up players for his game. And honestly, 500 bucks, while not chump change, is probably about 2 minutes worth of Moe Szyslak for Hank.

    Reply
  4. Hohlraum | January 5, 2006 at 11:01 am

    also doesn’t meantion if its one table or several. christ i’ll bet thats going to be a fun game. hank, baby, gimme a ring. *holds out thumb and pinky and shakes his hand*

    Reply
  5. Bob Denver | January 5, 2006 at 12:01 pm

    Now you’re ripping on people for hosting poker games? I bet you couldn’t get 7 people to your deathbed.

    “There’s something incredibly pathetic about a man’s assistant having to email strangers to try and find people to play poker with.”

    1. He has an assistant for doing menial tasks, like writing emails to get people for a poker game at his house. Nothing pathetic about that.

    2. You assert that the other people cc’d are strangers. Pray tell how you know that?

    I only defend Mr. Azaria since he seems like one of the more ‘normal’ people in Hollywood.

    Reply
  6. WaitWhat? | January 5, 2006 at 12:49 pm

    I wanna go :(

    Reply
  7. MortyFishbein | January 5, 2006 at 1:52 pm

    Um, this is so sad. He is trying to supplement his income. Some people deal drugs so I guess this is less harmful. And you don’t have to worry about any pesky DEA sting operations taking you down.

    Reply
  8. clarkehead | January 5, 2006 at 2:30 pm

    $500 to hang out with celebrities (and a kick ass chef) and play poker? Sounds like a deal to me. Sign me up.

    Reply
  9. Sheva | January 5, 2006 at 3:09 pm

    Hey Rocky,

    No disrespect but it’s a no holds barred game.
    $500 is the buy in only. Their will be thousands exchanging hands in a game like that in minutes. So you don’t even walk into the room without 10 grand to burn.

    That’s 10 grand to burn and have a good time.

    So Rock on Hank!

    Reply
  10. Belle | January 5, 2006 at 3:58 pm

    I WANT TO PLAY! LET ME PLAY PLEASE, HANK!

    Sure, I may not really know how to play, per se, but I’m in *love* with Hank Azaria. As in ‘please let me marry you, Hank Azaria’. No, seriously- Hank, can I marry you please?… Pretty please?

    He’s as gorgeous and funny in person as he is in movies and on TV. And when I say ‘in person’ I mean on the stage of ‘Spamalot’ (no pun intended). I. Love. Hank.

    Reply
  11. cornelius_prot | January 5, 2006 at 4:52 pm

    Nice. I think this is the first sartiano reference I’ve caught on your site. A fraternity brother of mine, Scott has made us all proud with his recent success at scoring starlets and gambling with celebrities (remember the Stamos photos).

    Reply
  12. Katie G | January 5, 2006 at 7:36 pm

    I was lucky enough to be invited and attend Hank’s New Year’s Eve bash at his pad in SoHo, and I can tell you that he is certainly not in short supply of friends. There were PLENTY of people there for him to hang out with. And, the party went until the wee hours of the morning… so I’m going to go ahead and say that whoever took the time to examine the fact that Hank is pathetic for “begging” for friends, should take the time examine their own pathetic existence.

    Reply
  13. Kikileblue | January 5, 2006 at 7:40 pm

    i mean can u tell me who the fuck hank azaria is i mean i know he was on mad about u and did some movies. but who is he really. he isnt that famous and not hot. so then why would clebs want to hang out with him. maybe paris but she is a whorish cum sucker but no one else.

    Reply
  14. Belle | January 5, 2006 at 10:06 pm

    Tell me, Kikileblue, is it true ignorance is bliss? How’s it working out for you?

    Have you ever heard of a little show called The Simpsons? He does virtually every voice. Have you ever seen The Birdcage? Quiz Show? Dodgeball? Along Came Polly? Anastasia? Godzilla? Mystery Men? Shattered Glass? Mystery, Alaska?

    Yeah, I guess he’s not that famous. He hasn’t been in *anything*. He’s also not currently starring in one of the biggest shows on Broadway right now for Monty Python. Oh, wait, he has, and he is.

    And yeah, he must be truly ugly since he was married to Helen Hunt. Hank Azaria is definitely a nobody.

    Reply
  15. Kikileblue | January 5, 2006 at 10:36 pm

    hey belle get a life i think u know what i meant by famous like your denzel or clint eastwood. excuse me if u love him. did ya start a fan club let me guess u are the only member right. dont take things so seriously u should relax IT WAS JUST A JOKE. LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP. i know he is on the simpsonS AND I know HE DOES VOICES FOR THE SIMPSON AND I HAVE SEEN SOME OF HIS MOVIES WHICH ARE FUNNY BUT U NEED TO CHILL OK. obviously he dont got a lot of celeb friends when his assitant has to start emailing random celbs to be in a poker game with him. so bring it down a notch in your case a couple of notches. i apolgize for all the hank azaria fans i offened. so belle i am sorry. well i think that s it.

    Reply
  16. lastangelman | January 6, 2006 at 12:33 am

    The sad is for the assistant to e-mailing Hank’s request for poker buddies to the universe. The happy is for Hank, now he can fire the schlump and hire me. Never let you down, Hank.

    Reply
  17. phill McKrevis | January 6, 2006 at 1:05 am

    I heard he’s gay. Is that true Katie G was it a sausage fest or what?

    Reply
  18. sparkmonkey | January 6, 2006 at 2:20 am

    Katie G=Hank Azaria

    Reply
  19. Belle | January 6, 2006 at 2:24 am

    LOL, sparkmonkey!

    Katie G, how did you get invited to Hank Azaria’s party?

    Reply
  20. HollyJ | January 6, 2006 at 4:15 pm

    I hate the name Hank.

    (PS. lol spankymonkey)

    Reply
  21. HollywoodSnark | December 12, 2006 at 11:23 am

    i’m in if he fronts the money for me! http://hollywoodsnark.com

    Reply
  22. TRUE WHITNEY FAN FOREVER | August 27, 2009 at 3:59 am

    WHITNEY IS MY IDOL ARE YOU MAD? WHO EVER SICK AND DEMENTIA FOOLS THAT WROTE SHITS COMMENTS AGES AGO ON MY IDOL WHITNEY. HATERS NEEDS TO BURN AND GO TO HELL. IM PISSED I DID NOT FIND THIS SOONER. YOU ALL WHO COMMENTED ARE SICK YOU CRAZY SUCIDAL FREAKS TALKIN ABOUT SOMEONE ELSES LIFE THAT HAD ITS UN-PERFECT OUTLOOK TO THE REST OF THE WORLD YOU HATERS DONT DISS THE QUEEN YOU DONT REALLY WANT TO GO THERE BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW YOU HATE AND WHATEVER YOU TRY DO WONT PROSPER WHY? BECAUSE WHITNEY MAYBE HUMAN LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND SHED BLOOD LIKE EVERYONE ELSE BUT SHE IS MORE THAN THAT AND GOD IS A MIGHTY GOD AND WHATEVER THE DEVIL TRYS TO BRING DOWN THE LORD WILL PLUCK UP AND WHOEVER GOD BLESS MAY NO ONE CURSE WHITNEY IS GOD BLESSED IT MAY HAVE TOOK WHITNEY SOME TIME TO RELALISE BUT SHE HAS AND SHE IS COMING BACK FOR YOUR ASSES.

    AND SHE HAS MANY ANGELS ARROUND HER THE LIGHT IN HER IS TOO BRIGHT TO BE TAMPERD WITH OR PUT OUT SHE IS A LIVING MIRACULOS PERSON TO HAVE BEEN GRACED WITH SO MUCH BEAUTY AND TALENT YOU WILL NEVER POSESS WHAT SHE POSSESES. YOU NEED TO HURRY UP AND COMMIT SUCIDE BECAUSE BY THE WAY YOUR COMMENTING ON THIS WOMENS LIFE WITH YOUR DEVIOUS DEVIL LIKE SELVES IS COMPLETLEY IN HUMANE AND OUT RAGEOUS ITS SO MUCH HATE WHAT DID SHE DO TO YOU NOTHING BUT BY THAT ALONE I CAN TELL YOUR ON THE VERGE OF A BREAKDOWN YOURSELF ALL THAT HATE YOU SOUND LIKE YOU HATE YOURSELVES TO THE POINT OF COMMITING SUCIDE GO GO YOU SUCIDAL FREAKS THE FIRE IS WAITING FOR YOU TO BURN IN HELL RIGHT NOW THE CLOCK IS JUST TICKING FOR YOU.

    SO KEEP THAT JELOUSEY FOR A LITTLE LONGER IN SOME TIME FROM NOW IT WONT EVEN MATTER ANYWAY BECAUSE YOU WILL BE IN HELL WISHING YOU DID NOT SPEND YOUR LIFE ON EARTH BEING IN HUMANE AND OUT OF THIS WORLD EVIL AND CRUEL OBVIOUSLEY THE DEVIL IS YOUR FREIND AND THATS WHERE YOU WILL BE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL WITH THE DEVIL YOU ALOWED TO POSESSS YOU TO ETERNAL FIRE AND PAIN OK BYE NOW AND WHITNEY WILL RISE THIS YEAR AND KEEP ON RISING YEAR AFTER YEAR.HATERS YOUR LIFE IS ALLREADY OVER SO HURRY UP AND GO TO HELL WHERE YOU BELONG YOUR HOME IS Calling AND ROTT WHILE YOUR THERE. NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO SAVE YOU YOU WILL BE TRAPPED FOR ETERNITY BEING TORMENTED. OH AND WHITNEY HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND GOD HAS GIVEN YOU A GREAT GIFT FOR A GOOD REASON AND YOU WILL SOON DO WHAT GODS WILL WAS FOR YOU ALL ALONG YOU WILL FIND THAT PATH I BELEIVE HE WANTED TO WORK WITH YOU FOR SO LONG AND YOU HAVE A VERY SPECIAL PURPOSE TO GOD TO DRAW ALOT OF PEOPLE CLOSER AND NEAR HIM THAT IS THE MAIN AIM TO USE THE GIFT THAT HE HAS GIVEN YOU TO WORK WITH HIM AND ALLOW HIM TO USE YOU OK I REALLY ADORE YOU AND 10000% LOVE YOU YOU WILL BE AND SEE THE LIGHT WHILE YOUR HATERS SEE THE DARK.BE STRONG AND YOU DONT FACE BAD TIMES ON YOUR OWN GOD IS ALLWAYS THERE BESIDE YOU LOVE YOU WHITNEY .

    Reply

Leave a Comment

Name (Visible)
Email (Required, Not Visible)