Halle Berry expecting first child

By: The Superficial / September 5, 2007
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Halle Berry e-mailed Access Hollywood on Tuesday to announce she’s officially three-months pregnant. Check out Us Magazine’s dynamite reporting of the joyous news:

After years of rumors, Halle Berry is pregnant. She and boyfriend Gabriel Aubry are expecting a baby in 2008. The 41-year old actress emailed Access Hollywood anchor Nancy O’Dell today and told her, “Yes, I am three months pregnant. Gabriel and I are beyond excited and I’ve waited a long time for this moment in my life. Now the next seven months will be the longest of my life!”

After years of rumors, huh? That’s some cracker-jack writing. Only Us Magazine could claim that Halle Berry has looked pregnant for years. Talk about cold-blooded. You’d think they’d abandon their theory after roughly nine months or so when, I don’t know, a child doesn’t pop out of her Oscar-winning vagina. Of course, one can’t expect Us Magazine to have any knowledge of the human birthing process. I once applied to be a writer there and during my interview all I had to do was finger paint a giraffe. When I wrote my name at the top, they told me I was over-qualified and should take my “words smarts” elsewhere.